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Thread: Passing versus being a CD

  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magnetar GG View Post
    Personally I don't think having a name for your femme side makes it any more or less likely that you would seek to transition later on. Heck, I could create different personalities for myself depending on what I'm doing, name my goddess-in-the-kitchen Julia, my artiste Frida, and then when I'm wearing my jeans and a tshirt and helping my husband on a home-improvement project Bob.
    A good friend showed me a picture on his phone and asked me if I knew who it was. It seemed familiar. Finally, I guessed, "Your sister?" He laughed. He said no, that's me. He was wearing a short brown wig, which I guess was supposed to look masculine. He said, "That's Chet Lester. When me and my wife are on vacation I sometimes become Chet Lester when we go to restaurants". I asked him who Chet Lester is. He said Chet Lester is a talk show host. The name of his show is "Other People's Business". At the restaurant they talk about other peoples business. People in the restaurant. People they know. Anyone. He said he started it because he was mocking her about being into other people's business. Now they just have fun with it. I came thissssss close to showing him my phone and asking, Do you know who this is? I decided to defer, because I was drinking (on Bourbon Street) and remembered I make stupid decisions when I drink.
    Every human being is the natural guardian of her own importance.
    The art of progress is to preserve order amid change, and to preserve change amid order.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana44 View Post
    And by goodness why is somebody calling out that it is wrong to have a fem name. There is s lot of things here that people don't understand and if you don't walk in their shoes, why tell somebody that a fem name is bad for a male CD, holy smokes.
    .
    I never said it was wrong?? I asked why and I only asked it of those who are vocal about having a male identity. It was a genuine question as I'm looking at how those who CD and DON'T want to be assumed as being TG or with wants to become a woman can highlight that element of the Cding community. Because currently the media thinks all who dress in public want to be women and I've seen enough members who don't like that because a) it's not true and b) it causes issues with their wives.
    You say you are gender fluid so this isn't about you.

    Quote Originally Posted by StarrOfDelite View Post
    Truthfully, I'm not sure which will advance the cause more, people trying to blend and not make waves which arguably is a tacit acceptance of the majority's opprobrium, or someone who brings it to the public eye in a challenging and thought provoking manner.
    That's what I wonder what does work best? I was only pondering that those who pass or blend become visibly TG or TS to the greater public rather than CD.
    How does one show the world they are an everyday hetero man who happens to crossdress and that be accepted as ok.
    I see the word weird/normal but things only become normal when they become a regular occurrence and CDing isn't a regular occurrence because it's secretive, secretive becomes creepy. How do you break that cycle of thought in a meaningful way?

  3. #53
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    "How do you break that cycle of thought in a meaningful way?"

    One person at a time, one positive interaction at a time Becky.

  4. #54
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Being in our own group would be fine; except, we get ridiculed for it, and women find crossdressed men to be a huge sexual turn off. So, I understand why so many who don't wish to transition, want to pass, and avoid so much of the problems that can occur when we're identified as ourselves, as crossdressers.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  5. #55
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    "women find crossdressed men to be a huge sexual turn off. So, I understand why so many who don't wish to transition"

    Miss, those two things are not remotely related. A cross dresser does not want to transition because they are a cross dresser and not trans. Someone who is trans MIGHT transition. I write "might" because there is no guarantee that can do it (health, cost, family,...)

  6. #56
    New Member michellechong's Avatar
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    I think to to able to pass is always a bonus for any crossdresser but transition is never in the mind of any typical crossdresser. Like what Jenniferathome brought up, even some transsexuals might not consider transition their option. As for myself, I started crossdressing since my primary school, had sex with men since 17. I was on hormones for almost a year when I was in my early twenties. I then had to quit (just short of 1 month of the mandatory 1 year) due to family and peer pressure when they found out my intention.

  7. #57
    Pooh Bear Judith96a's Avatar
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    I'm not quite sure where I fit in all of this but to attempt to get back to what I think was the OP's point, if I imagined that there was the remotest possibility of an openly cross dressing male being more or less accepted within the bit of society that I frequent then I might very well "go for it". It might be fun to go to work one day in full 'male' attire and go the next day in full 'female' attire - just because I felt like it - and for that to be "acceptable". It's a nice fantasy and that's all that it is - a fantasy. It's not going to happen - not in my lifetime at least. Likewise, there is no way that, with my build, I'm going to "pass" at anything less than 100 yards range! So the best that I can hope for is to 'blend' sufficiently that most people (who aren't really looking anyway) will casually mistake me for a woman and that those who do 'sus' me are sufficiently relaxed to not make a big deal of it (ie not cause me physical harm). That's what I try to achieve - nothing more.

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