Is the Pink Fog an aspect of Dysphoria?

[Sarah Doepner]

Yes, I'm still attempting to get a handle on the Pink Fog and today began wondering if it is Dysphoria hitting hard and our our attempts to control it. We "self-medicate" with anything that reduces the negative feelings and promotes the good ones, so trying on or buying clothes & makeup can work or actually getting out the door may do the trick. For others it may be transition, all depending on the severity of their dysphoria and means of addressing the issue. It's as varied as we are, but I'm still looking for an explanation that works for me.

[Alexa CD]

Hey Sarah, I don't use the term pink fog nor am I very familiar with it, but from the way I've seen others explain it or use the word I assume it is like some form of dysphoria. To me it seems to be an almost sub conscious urge or something, and a way to attempt to relieve it, or something I do at least is to express that feeling by being more feminine in a variety of ways.

[Amy Fakley]

to me, the ol' pink fog has always felt like a coping mechanism for my underlying gender issues ... I'm not sure if 'dysphoria' is the right term, but probably.

It's a term I never encountered before joining the forum. I don't know if it was coined here or elsewhere, but everyone seems to have their own experience of it. For me it's almost like a catharsis ... Or like in video games / anime when a character goes "Super Saiyan" ...

There comes a point, especially after a long period of having to repress my feminine side, that I simply cannot contain it any longer. It's almost involuntary, I start 'leaking' feminine mannerisms, if you will ... And then BOOM, it's like a girl explosion. It usually lasts a few days ... Sometimes it's lasted much longer, but when I'm marinating in the fog (so to speak), I do find that I tend to underestimate risk.

I'll be feeling so natural, and so happy, and so right that I literally have had to stop myself, for instance, from just walking out the front door and going to the grocery store or what have you (in spite of outing myself to all my neighbor's and all the drama and BS that would cascade out from that action).

That's why I say it feels like a catharsis. It's not entirely divorced from reason (I've actually managed to stop myself from making bad decisions like that) but it is an extremely emotional reaction to living day to day hiding behind a fascade.

I'll put it a different way. I'm absolutely certain that if I transitioned, that afterward I'd never experience the phenomenon of pink fog again. It's definitely a coping mechanism (for me anyhow.. Ymmv)

On a different note, I've always wondered if out FtM siblings experience anything similar, or if it's unique to MtF folk

[Jane G]

Never quite related to the pink fog thing. Do love cross dressing though. But there are other things in life that I get more fun out of these days. Walking the moors is a pleasure. Whether dressed or drab.

[pamela7]

for me, yes, I can't say for anyone else.

[Zooey]

I think that "pink fog" is a symptom of repression, not necessarily dysphoria. From the way people describe it, it sounds like an obsessive overreaction.

[sometimes_miss]

The 'pink fog' is a condition where you have been exposed to crossdressing so much that you believe to think that we, or we think that everyone else thinks, it is normal. Typically happens when we spend a lot of time dressed, interacting with other crossdressers, or online reading about it such as on this forum. The pink fog can be quickly dissipated by
anyone saying, 'WTF are you wearing'?

[Teresa]

Sarah,
It's a balancing act, I would like to be out the door more than I am, so instead I think through outfits and then go and shop, dressing at home also helps but as it's not openly accepted it has strings attached.
I know I have GD but I can deal with it because I know where I am on the TG spectrum now, CDers just can't help pushing for more which is the pink fog problem why it happens and how we stop it I can't fully answer , we just have to find ways to balance it when it hits !

[Robin414]

Hmmm, is 'pink fog' just a euphemism for 'gender dysphoria'?

Really good question...for me...I think maybe a little bit (enough to make me 'gender fluid' at least)

Actually that might even be a euphemism for GD as well?

[Nicole Erin]

Well, this is in fact a journey.
There are several labels, stages etc to this whole transgender business.

Only you can decide how far you need to take it. For me, yes I remember the days when even dressing up and going to a club or TG group was good enough but I decided I wanted to live full time like this. I have not had surgeries and honestly I don't really desire to. I do not "pass" 100% and I have gotten to the point I do not really care. Even if I had the money to alter things, i doubt I would.

Do not worry about what you "should" do in order to be a "true" TS, CD or whatever. The only advice I can give is you will know when you have gone far enough with things. When you get to a point where you are comfortable, that is where you stop. We cannot decide for you.

[PaulaQ]

The pink fog can be quickly dissipated byanyone saying, 'WTF are you wearing'?

So you mean it can be countered by abuse and invalidation so that an individual represses who they are? Yep, sounds exactly like what I went through.

Yes, in my opinion, the pink fog is related to dysphoria, in that it is a reaction to some alleviation of it for a time. Unfortunately, because our society is abusive and corrupt, we only see positive feelings as being abnormal - negative ones are to be expected. In point of fact, though, when considering gender dysphoria, the negative feelings are pretty much the only one that matter. These are often invisible because we're told that while we should expect to feel terrible things in our life, we must never be honest about them.

[Kate Simmons]

The "pink fog" is an overriding feeling of compulsion to CD. CDing is an emotional process. Like any process in the physical world it can take on a mind of it's own if not managed and can therefore become overriding. "Pink" being used in the description since it's related to wanting to look and feel "girly" since girls are supposed to like pink. For myself, at least, I've found over the 57 years I've been doing this that the only way to "beat" it as a compulsion is to make it a total "choice" to do or not considering time and circumstances. Sometimes this process wants to be realized at the most inconvenient times and not necessarily to our benefit. In any case, being human we like to feel we have no control of an overriding process, so we dub it "The Pink Fog" that rolls in to cloud our judgment and control. As with anything else, we get out what we put in.

[Pat]

I've always interpreted the pink fog to mean a suspension of good judgement, similar in nature to the mental state you get into in the early stages of love. Like real fog, it obscures your long-range vision; like real fog you should slow down and be wary. In that sense it's almost the opposite of dysphoria -- it's euphoria. Not to say it's bad, just saying it's a state to be savored, but where you may make poor judgements (like love, like taking up a new hobby, etc.)

[Tina_gm]

To those who are currently going through or have gone through intense dysphoria, does that dysphoria ebb and flow? The Pink fog certainly seems to for many on here. I suppose what I have experienced does as well. There are times where I wish I was dressed, or wish I was a woman more than other times. What I do not experience though is a dislike of what I am so much. It has not been an experience of mine so far to be disliking myself, but just wanting to be or present as a woman.

[PaulaQ]

To those who are currently going through or have gone through intense dysphoria, does that dysphoria ebb and flow?

Yes, that is a commonly reported experience. Not universal - some kids start with intense dysphoria from a super young age, and it never abates until they transition, or commit suicide. But for many of us, there are peaks and valleys, and sometimes long periods of relative quiet were we just sort of survive. When I was a kid, through highschool, my dysphoria became intense and I was suicidal. This persisted until succumbed to alcoholism and went into recovery in my late 20's. I carried on pretending I was a dude for 15-20 years after that, no CDing, no nothing. And then it started again. This last time, I knew based on my feelings that I'd been a fool, and that I'd be lucky to survive what I was about to go through. It was orders of magnitude worse than anything I'd ever experienced before. I still don't know how I didn't kill myself three years ago.

During the long sort of dormant period, there was still dysphoric type stuff going on, but I could cope. Once it began to intensify, I'd go through periods where it was better or worse - 3 or 4 years before the end, let's say.

[Tina_gm]

My own interpretation of Dysphoria at least, (and I am not saying I am correct) is that Dysphoria seems to be more of hating what you have or are, whereas "The Fog" seems to be what you wish or want more of. It has always been my interpretation of the difference between a CDer as opposed to someone who is TS. CDers want to be more feminine, or want to be a woman. TS women already are women, and just want the male to be eradicated. Or put another way, CDers are in a sense, creating or building a female of themselves, TS women are stripping away or uncovering the male to get to their real selves.

[Sarah Doepner]

Paula mentioned one idea that I'd been batting around. Once someone commits to transition, and I'm assuming that means not just social but medical transition, the Pink Fog tends to disappear. This sample of one isn't nearly enough to draw a conclusion but it makes me want to ask how common is the Fog for those who have been taking hormones for a while. Is this a question that needs to go over on the TS part of the forum or is it just a CD misunderstanding what she's read?