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Thread: I still want to be "in the closet"

  1. #26
    Member AllieBellema's Avatar
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    Outside of my crossplays, I really haven't been out in public too much with my dresses. I really don't hide it, but at the same time I really don't advertise it. While it would be fun to get to wear them in some public situations, I'm not in a rush to get out there and show it off. I don't have anything in the form of an everyday outfit anyway so if I dressed up and went out, I'd stick out like a sore thumb.

  2. #27
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by audreyinalbany View Post
    this all comes down to your definition of what 'out' means. I Dress mostly at home,occasionally make a few forays out into the world & have gone away for a couple of weekends 'en femme.' My wife knows and kind of grudgingly accepts but doesn't participate.
    Similarly, my SO only wishes to go out occasionally and rarely dresses at home anymore (it takes too much effort). Although I am 100% supportive and we do go out together, being known as her girl self by everyone he knows is not how my SO chooses to live his life and he has no incentive to tell friends and extended family. My SO is comfortable with his male self and to come out as a girl would rather be a lie because my SO doesn't see himself as a girl. So the closet is a comfortable place for us to be, if you want to call it that. We go out everywhere dressed except in our immediate area, we've had entire weekends away dressed and we've even had extended vacations away dressed. My SO is always ready to get back to guy mode when she has been presenting as a girl for awhile.
    Reine

  3. #28
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    The confusion over what "out" means can be avoided by pairing it with another word to give clarity. Am I out? That depends. My wife knows, so I have come out to her. But other family, friends, co-workers, etc. don't know, so I have not come out to them. You can enjoy going out, without coming out.
    Not all closet dressers live in fear and shame. Some of us have no reason to come out or go out, happy and content to get all we need just by dressing up. Sometimes it's just about the clothes, and for some of us, it's simply and deeply personal.

  4. #29
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    Not all closet dressers live in fear and shame.
    This is true for my SO. But at the same time my SO has always been realistic in his knowledge that we do live in a world of people who are either biologically male or female (people who physically have ambiguous sexual anatomies are rather rare), and so my SO has not taken it upon himself to try to educate everyone he knows about the concept of non-binary gender. My SO's occasional choice of gender presentation does not define who he is as a person. However, had my SO been TS, then of course she would be transitioning and out to everyone as a female.
    Reine

  5. #30
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    The confusion over what "out" means can be avoided by pairing it with another word to give clarity. Am I out? That depends. My wife knows, so I have come out to her. But other family, friends, co-workers, etc. don't know, so I have not come out to them. You can enjoy going out, without coming out.
    Not all closet dressers live in fear and shame. Some of us have no reason to come out or go out, happy and content to get all we need just by dressing up. Sometimes it's just about the clothes, and for some of us, it's simply and deeply personal.
    Yes, this pretty much sums up my feelings about coming out. I'm out to my wife but no one else, and that's the way I like it. I tried the monthly support/social group route a few years ago and found that it ultimately didn't help me feel any more authentic as a crossdresser than being, largely, in the closet.

  6. #31
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    Do what feels comfortable for you. Staying in the closet is a choice. It is OK.

  7. #32
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    I can say that I know I feel the same way at this point, but with the caveat that I would love to find other likeminded CDs or GGs to share dressing up with. what I wonder is, through your CD journey, have you ever felt differently about it? was there a time where you did want more than a closeted journey?

  8. #33
    Dreaming is half the fun.
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    Long ago on my single years I wanted to share it with my family but by then I was living on my own and the right moment never came out, over the years I've met two or three friends, Ive gone out dolled up with them and just love the experience, from getting dressed and doing my makeup the hair and the bag, but again, on a very safe moment, and I think that this is the best for me, I live my daily life as one of the guys, you know, with the usual stuff like the male competition, trying to show who can drink more, lift more work harder, eating the hottest peppers, or playing better in sports, now days I don't do much of that, but also admiring the the some of the women around me dress, especially on a wedding or such event, while I'm in the same dark suit every time, but my wive loves to see me wear, and this how I like to keep my CDing sometime when I'm with the guys and we're taking about sports, work, trucks and stuff like that I'm just thinking, that I'm paying more attention at long dress that girl is wearing on the comercials then the rest of the game, LOL well thanks for all the replies, XOXO

  9. #34
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by almalove View Post
    I know that many "girls" here do have an open relationship with their SO, and some want to be accepted as CD's or TS, that all fine fine but as for me looking at what I chose to be I want and chose to be in the closet,
    If that works for you then you are to be envied! You avoid many of the anxieties inherent in leaving the house or interacting with spouse and family.

    Quote Originally Posted by almalove View Post
    and at my age I really don't think I will ever come out,
    If you had asked me that in 2011, I would have said the same. Too old, too tall, too unattractive, too scared. Now it's 2016 and I'm transitioning. Each person has their own road, and each road had many forks.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

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