One emotional week over, and ending on a good note too.

[rachel1985]

Hey all,

I thought I'd post this, since it's been such an emotional week.

I've been talking to this girl, lovely, beautiful, open minded and everything, but she started asking never-before-asked questions, so as part of that, I answered them honestly, but hid my real identity, until she told me a few things which forced my hand. Telling her of my infertility and my true identity.
Needless to say I've gone from prospective partner, to friend within the night.

Anyway, on Tuesday, I sat at my desk, burst into tears (fortunately I'm in my own office). Once I dried my eyes, I sat and thought with "clarity" about my next steps.
Too ashamed and incredibly protective (and proud) of my boss and the company I work for, I begun writing my notice of resignation which once again made me cry.

Getting so far into it, the tears were too much, so I focused at my job, saved and closed the letter and cracked on with what I needed to.
Moving forward, I finished writing the notice, and handed it in today.

Within a few hours my boss called me into a meeting, making me cry again.
However, this time, I explained what happened some time ago (when I first came out as TG), and then explained why I was handing in my notice.

Needless to say, spending an incredibly emotional hour with my manager, they are supporting me 100%, refused the resignation, told me that they'd rather someone else leave than me.
So leaving the meeting, I am still employed, feeling empowered & supported, even prouder of my employer and close friend.

I must admit, I'm feeling so liberated now, I've been dragging / carrying this weight of denial for over ten years.

Now, onwards and upwards. Some of my closest friends know, my Mum knows, my workplace know. That's part of the hard part over with, now I have to go through the rest of the journey surrounded by those who I love feeling supported and proud of who I am.

Now after that week, I wish I could drink!

[Starling]

Congratulations on your huge breakthrough, Rachel. I'm sorry it had to be accompanied by the loss of a potential lifetime partner; but it's wonderful when your concern for the good people in your life can lead you out of a sense of desolation to a new level of acceptance and support. It's a very sweet, uplifting story. Good luck to you.

Lallie

[Rachel Smith]

I am extremely happy for you that feel of empowerment and joy is something I hope you continue to feel throughout your transition.

[PennyNZ]

Good on you Rach

onwards and upwards

[rachel1985]

Starling, it's always horrid losing someone, but I have to accept that some people want to be with a man, not a man who's wanting to transition to being a woman.
But, as much as I've lost her as a prospective partner, she's remaining beside me as a friend, and I'm sure we can all agree we need all the friends we can get.

I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly proud of my boss, and the company I work for.
Not wanting me to leave, supporting me fully, and willing to lose clients and prospective employees because of it. But as he said, they're not people he wants to do business with. Which just shows how good a person he is.

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Small update,

I've come into work this morning, the boss asked if I'm feeling better now, said I was because of talking to them on Friday.
Since then, I've had a chat with our HR lady and the manager, and both are happy and supporting me. They've asked some standard questions as the HR lady knows a bit about the journey ahead, but like when I'll need to start dressing for my identity, when the hormones will come into play and things. I've said so far I'm unsure, as the docs could pick up from where I left ten years ago, or they could start me from the beginning again.

The main outcome of today, is that they're supporting me, and will support me with informing my colleagues.

Alas, we shall see.

[Starling]

...she's remaining beside me as a friend, and I'm sure we can all agree we need all the friends we can get...

Amen, Rach. Real, stand-by-you friendship is not something that we can take for granted.

Lallie

[rachel1985]

I agree. When you do find it, you need to cling on to it for dear life.

So far, the support I've been receiving is outweighing my support ten years ago, and I'm nervous about my appointment later today, but hopefully it goes well.