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Thread: I love having a supportive wife.

  1. #1
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
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    I love having a supportive wife.

    Even though it's pretty much a DADT thing these days something neat happened yesterday. Some mornings at 5 am before I take off for work I'll wear a skirt and heels while out having a smoke. She knows about it, actually has seen me at that ungodly hour if she has an early day that I didn't know about and surprises me. She knows I try to do the Lee thing when she is not around or in bed so she doesn't have to see it.
    I generally wrap the heels in the skirt and put them on a kitchen chair when I'm done, so they are easy access for the next time. They are out of sight unless you bend over and look under the table. It is an unspoken rule to make sure they are gone if someones coming around, just in case. Yesterday a friend was dropping in for a few minutes, so I remembered to grab them but they were already gone. Didn't think much of it and went upstairs to get out of my work clothes and there they where on the floor in the bedroom. Had a good night, she went to bed, I stayed outside to watch the ball game. Later that night I went to grab them to put them in Lee's closet and they were gone. Hummmmm, This morning I go downstairs and low and behold she must have put them back on the chair when I was outside last night.
    I know she dislikes the cross-dressing these days but it sure warms the heart knowing that she realizes this is a part of me. Taking weekends away with the girls so I can dress-up or acting like I'm standing before her in jeans instead of a skirt and heels if she happens apon me. Not my ideal situation when it comes to this part of my life but I'll take it.
    Man I love that girl.
    Trying to come to grips with this lovely thing called Crossdressing.

    Thankful there is a place to ask for help.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member LaurenS's Avatar
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    Happy for you!

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    Lee,
    I hope she carries on as she is, it's nice to know our little slip ups are tolerated .

    I had a similar thing happen, I don't do it often but it was cold one morning so I slipped some holdups on under my nightie , did some jobs, made a pot of tea as usual and slipped them off again and did what you did and slid them onto a chair. Yes I forgot about them, and of all days a near neighbour who makes curtains popped in to measure for some new ones in the kitchen , my wife went to sit down and nearly sat on my holdups, she claims the lady didn't notice, anyway she made an excuse that she meant to put them in the laundry basket. As soon as I returned from walking the dog I remembered but it was too late, my wife had a smile on her face and told me where to find my dirty laundry !

  4. #4
    Senior Member Diversity's Avatar
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    Your wife is very considerate of you and of the relationship you both share.
    Good for you both!
    Di

  5. #5
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Those with tolerant wives, or SO's, and girlfriends, or accepting, don't know how lucky you are! At 62, still alone, I have only met women who are hostile, and condemning, or who think it is strange, and would not date or marry one.

  6. #6
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Yes, I'm one of the fortunate ones. We have fun with my "hobby". Yesterday, she surprised me with a beautiful sleeveless blouse. She thought it would go well with my capri's and shorts. It's perfect !! She also picked up 3 pairs of Hanes Silk Reflections sheer thigh highs...my #1 favorite. Of course, I had to try both on asap. (smile).

  7. #7
    Junior Member RobynT's Avatar
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    Lee, she sounds like a wonderful person. make sure you let her know how how much you appreciate her. I am one of those lucky souls that has a woman in my life that knows, is supportive, and even goes shopping for me. yesterday we went to Goodwill for about 2 hours and I scored a number of new dresses, and some lingerie. While she has certain limitations with Robyn, we are able to talk openly about it which is a great help. I always make sure i let her know how special she is for her understanding

  8. #8
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RobynT View Post
    Lee, she sounds like a wonderful person. make sure you let her know how how much you appreciate her. I am one of those lucky souls that has a woman in my life that knows, is supportive, and even goes shopping for me. yesterday we went to Goodwill for about 2 hours and I scored a number of new dresses, and some lingerie. While she has certain limitations with Robyn, we are able to talk openly about it which is a great help. I always make sure i let her know how special she is for her understanding
    Oh, I do. She's a great lady and I'm amazed she put's up with both sides of me. LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Torn View Post
    Those with tolerant wives, or SO's, and girlfriends, or accepting, don't know how lucky you are! At 62, still alone, I have only met women who are hostile, and condemning, or who think it is strange, and would not date or marry one.
    I have been around these boards long enough to know just how lucky I am. Even with her downgrading of participation with the Lee side of me, I still have it better than a lot of crossdressers. I have freedom to express myself almost whenever I feel the need, unlike a lot of our fellow sisters. This morning for example, I'm out back, cruising the internet while wearing hose and ladies PJ bottoms. She never even bats an eye.
    Trying to come to grips with this lovely thing called Crossdressing.

    Thankful there is a place to ask for help.

  9. #9
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    it's the little things that go a long way, when my wife comes home and buys me something just out of the blue. Just knowing while she was shopping for herself she thought about Maria. A few years back I went to my room and found a laundry basket full of my panties all washed and folded. When I asked her why she washed them for me, she wondered why I never put them in the dirty laundry. I told her I usally only dress a few hours at a time and never really dirty them and if I felt they did need washing I would just wash them by hand in the laundry sink. She didn't like that and wanted me to wash them everytime I wear a pair even if I wear them for ten minutes. I thought that was very thoughtful of her. I try not to take her for granted, but it's human nature to want more. We are luckier then we know.
    Last edited by Maria 60; 06-26-2016 at 06:55 AM.

  10. #10
    Banned Read only LisaJ1's Avatar
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    My fiancé Alexandra whom I am going to get married to in December is great to me.She makes shopping fun and knows the great shopping spots well.Will buy me things I like too.One thing I love is shoes and knows I am a shoeaholic.I do let her pick out what I wear as well when I transform into Lisa,this is ever Monday and Thursday she does this.

  11. #11
    Member josrphine's Avatar
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    Hi Lee, My wife loves me more as a women then a man. With that said, yesterday she had a full day of being out with her things to do. So on Saturday I like going to the local Casino as Josephine. I had gotten dressed an found her in the computor rm, she said to me you look so pretty , heading for the casino an I said yes. Good have fun an will see you later. How much more lucky can a GURL get.

  12. #12
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    I'd call it semi tolerant, not supportive. It can't be supportive in a DADT.
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  13. #13
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    Cross dressing is not my wife's cup of tea. Decades ago I wearing a nightgown was incorporated into some nice bedroom play....not all the time, but, often enough to satisfy my needs. When she discovered what cross dressing was really about..not just a little kinky once in a while....she was turned off. So, it became DADT. On occasion I have forgotten to put a garment away before she came home from work..... a bra or panty. She folded them and placed them on the dryer in the wash closet. No hostility. I'm sure there a many women who would have really screamed and yelled at their husbands.

    Sometimes there are also some subtle hints coming from my wife that she understands my desires. Since the Caitlyn Jenner news splashes she has come to the conclusion some men and women have had some previous life experiences that have imprinted the other sex on their birth sex. I do not want to get into any religious arguments with anyone, but, I think she may have a point, and, above all it has mellowed her.

  14. #14
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Joanne~ View Post
    I'd call it semi tolerant, not supportive. It can't be supportive in a DADT.
    Call it what you want. Maybe I'm not in a DADT but for the lack of a better term I used it. Would she rather I didn't crossdress? Sure, she's said as much. Does she freak out if I'm wearing something a bit more feminine in front of her? No, so I'm not sure what to call my situation but I know one thing, she is supportive of both sides of me......

  15. #15
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    I think that to call you wife "supportive" the way you describe your situation is a bit of a stretch, and perhaps borders on wishful thinking given that yours is still basically a DADT relationship. I'd say that she is more of an enabler or an unwilling accomplice, and is running interference to keep you out of trouble and inadvertently outing yourself (and her) when you engage in your little escapades and risky behaviours.

    That said, you seem to have achieved some progress in getting your wife to recognize your need to crossdress, and that in itself is more than some others here have been able to accomplish. It certainly beats having a wife or an SO who is downright hostile towards it.

  16. #16
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
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    Well I guess you folks know best.

  17. #17
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    I wouldn't say we know best either but 9 times out of 10, when a girl thinks their SO is supportive, it comes back to bite them. Like leslie said her running defense sounded like more for her than You. It's great if she is truly starting to come around and knows this is something that can't be shaken or just stopped and starts to accept it on whatever level she can but you also have to be careful not to misread her actions and start pushing things because You think you can. That's a trap a lot of us fall in.
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  18. #18
    Junior Member lucy_miller's Avatar
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    I have a similar level of acceptance, no desire to encourage but not destructive, recently I was away and my wife lent one of my skirts to my daughter for a day. Not sure if that is progress or just funny.

  19. #19
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Lee, She sounds like she is not hostile and that surely is a good thing. Such women are so rare.

  20. #20
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Joanne~ View Post
    I wouldn't say we know best either but 9 times out of 10, when a girl thinks their SO is supportive, it comes back to bite them. Like leslie said her running defense sounded like more for her than You. It's great if she is truly starting to come around and knows this is something that can't be shaken or just stopped and starts to accept it on whatever level she can but you also have to be careful not to misread her actions and start pushing things because You think you can. That's a trap a lot of us fall in.
    I don't think, I know she is supportive. I guess that's the problem with communicating over the net and not face to face. Something gets lost in translation. We've been together 25 years, she's known and participated in this part of my life since day one. It runs hot and cold over time in the amount of participation she puts in.
    As for her 'running defence for herself', no it's actually for me and her. She's of Irish descent, fiercely loyal when it comes to me in general and would likely go sideways on someone that found out and proceeded to give me a hard time. One of our agreed apon rules for Lee are to not try and leave articles lying around but if they are one or the other will put it away. The point of my post was not only did she put it away but she also put it back after company left. I know my boundaries, push them once and awhile, get reined back in. I have a great relationship and I am grateful I found someone all those years ago, that puts up with my male self as well as this part of me. May not be as much with the crossdressing as I would like these days but that's life.
    Anyway, I'm rambling. I've never been great with the written word so it's probably my fault my message is messed up.
    To me that is supporting me and Lee in a small way, I thought it was pretty cool and wanted to share it.

  21. #21
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Joanne~ View Post
    I wouldn't say we know best either but 9 times out of 10, when a girl thinks their SO is supportive, it comes back to bite them. .
    and 5 out of 4 times statistics are totally pulled out of thin air. Your numbers are wrong (or please cite statistical evidence and not your perception)

    Geez, y'all complain when GGs don't accept you and you bitch when they do...is anybody happy?
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  22. #22
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    so you actually thought I went looking for a statistic? lol "9 times out of 10" is a common phrase when you are describing an instance where you would catch that 10 instead of part of the 9. I guess it depends on what part of the country you live in whether or not that saying is used a lot or not.

    also we were talking about supportive, not acceptance. there is a big difference between a GG being supportive or just being tolerant. As lee has stated, she feels that her wife is supportive and who am I to argue with that but I have a different definition as to what is supportive and to what is tolerant and I just stated what was on my mind at the time.
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  23. #23
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    So we should assume you are the 1 in 10?

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Joanne~ View Post
    when I am not working I pretty much have all the time in the word because My SO knows and supports me in my dressing. lately it's been how cool is it? is it cool enough to dress for a bit? like right now as i write this I am dressed because it's really nice out but two days ago there would have been no chance in hell of my being dressed as it hit 96 degrees.
    You say "supportive" not tolerant or accepting. I don't understand why you wanted to scare the OP here
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  24. #24
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
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    Not sure what part of the country you are from but tolerant would be putting away the skirt and heels, not saying anything and leaving them upstairs.
    Supportive would be exactly what she did. Put them away while company was over and knowing this is something I do, put them back before she went to bed.
    Maybe it's a Canadian thing?

  25. #25
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Sooo...you're wife is being polite, eh? Because it is 2016? (inside joke )

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