Questions to ask Human Resources...

[Caden Lane]

Hi everyone;

So I am trying to write an anonymous email I plan to send to my HR department to inquire about my planned transition. I'm trying to compile a list of questions to ask them as I open this dialogue, and I was curious if there are any questions out there you all feel I should ask right out of the gate.

So far I have questions about insurance coverage, transition efforts within the workplace; but I feel there are some things I may be omitting. So if you were to create a short list of questions, which would you ask? Were there any questions you felt you should have asked but didn't or didn't until later? Any input offered here is valuable, so thank you all in advance.

Ever,
Cadence

[Mirya]

Is that what most people do? Write anonymous emails to HR departments to "feel out" what their reaction might be when presented with a transitioning employee?

I may be wrong, but that doesn't feel right to me. If they do respond positively to your email, and you begin transitioning at work, the HR dept is going to know that you were the one who sent the anonymous email. And the process will begin with them possibly resenting the fact that you were hiding behind an anonymous email and not being transparent with them from the start. Why not instead request a private meeting with an HR rep, and discuss in person your intention to transition? People tend to react more positively when others are being open and honest from the start. But like I said, I may be wrong as I haven't transitioned in the workplace. Just giving my perspective.

[Donnagirl]

I agree with Mirya, make an appointment and go and talk to HR... I'm sure they will be totally understanding

[Caden Lane]

For clarifications sake I live and work in Georgia, which currently offers no gender identity protections in the workplace. To complicate matters, I am a police officer, and to the best of my ability to research it, I'll be the first transgender to transition in Georgia. I work for a liberal university, so I'm not exactly worried too much how the University will handle the transition, it is more about how my Department within the University System will handle the transition. I've also been burnt in the workplace before with supposedly HIPAA protected meetings. It is after all the south, gossip is treated like mothers milk here; HIPAA protections or not. This is the same state that recently denied a transman from changing his legal name because he felt,
"Name changes which allow a person to assume the role of a person of the opposite sex are, in effect, a type of fraud on the general public," Roper wrote. "Such name changes also offend the sensibilities and mores of a substantial portion of the citizens of this state."
THAT is what I'm up against here.

Ever,
Cadence

[JanePeterson]

I appreciate how you feel- I was in this exact situation a few months ago, and I spoke anonymously with our equivalent of an HR rep... As for specific questions I didn't have any other than to just discuss the process - and to discover there is no process yet - I wish you the best of luck! Also though, there may be merit in just setting up a meeting, I only did it this way because coming out for me triggers immediate consequences... Now that I'm not anonymous anymore it it doesn't really matter.

[LeaP]

I first called anonymously in my last job also (I called the head of HR… and not from my own desk phone, either…). The company had a gender identity cause in its anti-discrimination policy, but I could not find anything else in any of the company materials. So my first question was whether or not the company had any experience with an employee presenting with a gender issue. Answer: no. She went on to say, though, that she had people transition at her prior company – and there were no problems whatsoever. I asked about policies – there were none. Insurance – excluded. She did say the company would be supportive. Within the year, I came out to HR and a few select others in the hierarchy and started plotting my way to transition in the workplace. I was also working behind the scenes to get the company rated in the HRC corporate quality index and to lobby for insurance coverage. Both happened! A merger and to reorgs later, I was out of a job. I am now working at an LGBT unfriendly company.

IF the company has any experience or policies, make sure you ask about the following. How will communications be handled and will you be able to control them? Do they have any bathroom policies? Do they have any trans specific training or can any such be arranged prior to your transition? Do you have full support from the top down!? … Because if you don't, your risk goes up dramatically. Regardless of any other insurance coverage, will the company's leave and short-term disability policies cover time away for surgeries and recovery? Alternatively, can you be allowed time to work from home? Is the company willing to accommodate a transfer to another area at the time of transition?

Just a start ...

[I Am Paula]

Maybe ask if they have dealt with this situation before.

[flatlander_48]

C L:

Yes, I would also wonder about the anonymous approach. If it would be truly anonymous, the HR folks might not respond because they wouldn't know if it was someone outside or inside of the organization.

Does your organization have an LGBT employee affinity group? If so, I would start there because, at the very least, they probably have established relationships with the more useful HR folks. And if there is an LGBT affinity group and you're not a member, I would seriously consider joining. Remember that HR folks are like anyone else and subject to the same issues and prejudices. Some can deal with their own stuff and rise above it, while others cannot. And, as sensitive as these matters are, you definitely don't want to get stuck with the Kim Davis of Human Resources.

I assume that you don't have a current relationship with anyone in HR. If that is true, do you know anyone that has had recent dealings with the HR staff? Perhaps they can steer you to someone who was helpful. Not necessarily related to an LGBT issue, but just helpful in general because not all HR folks are. Remember that their first priority is to minimize risk for the organization.

DeeAnn

[Mirya]

For clarifications sake I live and work in Georgia, which currently offers no gender identity protections in the workplace. To complicate matters, I am a police officer, and to the best of my ability to research it, I'll be the first transgender to transition in Georgia. I work for a liberal university, so I'm not exactly worried too much how the University will handle the transition, it is more about how my Department within the University System will handle the transition. I've also been burnt in the workplace before with supposedly HIPAA protected meetings. It is after all the south, gossip is treated like mothers milk here; HIPAA protections or not. This is the same state that recently denied a transman from changing his legal name because he felt,
"Name changes which allow a person to assume the role of a person of the opposite sex are, in effect, a type of fraud on the general public," Roper wrote. "Such name changes also offend the sensibilities and mores of a substantial portion of the citizens of this state."
THAT is what I'm up against here.

Ever,
Cadence

Ok well, I guess I didn't understand how bad it could be in Georgia. I live in the Chicago metro area, so I suppose I can't understand exactly what the situation is like in the south. Sorry. I do have a transgender friend who used to be a police officer. She worked in the suburbs of Chicago her entire life, and after retiring she transitioned. She goes back to her old police station every once in a while (I forget exactly why, but I think it's something related to her pension, I think?), and pretty much everyone that she worked with shuns her.

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to transition as a police officer in the south.

[Caden Lane]

Thank you ladies for you thoughtful responses. Being the first trans- woman police officer to transition on the job will have its upsides and downsides; and I can relate to immediate consequences Jane. The upsides are the ability to pave the way for future trans-officers, of which there are a potential two in my area alone. I would be paving the way for transgender colleagues within the University System if they do not already have a transition policy in place. Paving the path will certainly lead to new experiences for me, as well as teachable moments. As well as the usual plagues of problems and potential problems.

One of my fears is based on a news byte I saw many years ago when someone transgender came out in their workplace. Their company wanted to draw attention to how "liberal and accepting" they were, so they called the media and made a big "to do" over it. They put up side by side photos of the employee, used her masculine name, etc etc... I know this is a different time; the media has been scolded, (but not necessarily taken to task) for their mishandling of recent forced outings such as Caitlyn Jenner or the Wachowski sisters... So I'm sure this will not be a problem. Especially if I take LeaP's advice and ask about controlling communications.

The only support network at the university that I am aware of is the Gay- Straight Alliance. As for an Affinity group, I know of no such organization within the system. However, the GSA is student-centered, so while they may be valuable allies in transition, a student centered organization will not have much latitude with HR. We team members and staff are required to undergo Safe-Space training. However this training being within the organization gives me some hope, as does the existence of gay- coworkers. Any allies in this are still allies.

Ever & Always,
Cadence

[flatlander_48]

One of my fears is based on a news byte I saw many years ago when someone transgender came out in their workplace. Their company wanted to draw attention to how "liberal and accepting" they were, so they called the media and made a big "to do" over it. They put up side by side photos of the employee, used her masculine name, etc etc...

DAMN!! That is truly sad. I would hope that there were legal consequences, but unfortunately it would be like closing the door after the horse has gone.

In case we have any HR professionals here, I did not mean to disparage anyone. The vast major are good people who are motivated to do the right thing. Unfortunately that is not true for everyone. To illustrate, I was with the company I recently retired from for 23 years and all of that was in the same division. In that time, we had 5 division HR managers. One was very good. Three were pretty decent and one was the pits. I always referred to him as The Stone when I talked to my wife. I had to deal with him for the 3 years that I was president of an affinity group. He was very focused on the statistical side and seemed to have little empathy for people. If there ever was someone who should have been in a different profession, it was him. From my experience people like him are fairly rare, but you never know who is going to be in your path.

The only support network at the university that I am aware of is the Gay- Straight Alliance. As for an Affinity group, I know of no such organization within the system. However, the GSA is student-centered, so while they may be valuable allies in transition, a student centered organization will not have much latitude with HR. We team members and staff are required to undergo Safe-Space training. However this training being within the organization gives me some hope, as does the existence of gay- coworkers. Any allies in this are still allies.

Ever & Always,
Cadence

That's unfortunate that there is no employee affinity group. That suggests that you will have to do much of your own searching for resources in your area. Not impossible, just a bit longer road...

DeeAnn

[Caden Lane]

That was many years ago. And they had signed her on to the concept as a willing participant. It just spun out of control...

In the end she ended started a new job, and a new life. She is at a point in her life where nobody ever knew her as male or as "That Trans-woman." So maybe it was for the best.

Ever & Always,
Cadence

[flatlander_48]

Bizarre story!

DeeAnn

[LeaP]

Most of the HR people with whom I have had dealings have been professionals. Still, people are people and you don't know who is connected to whom or how. I'm as certain as I can be that our head of HR in my last job was well intended, as was the head of employee relations and the head of PR and communications (to whom the company diversity rep reported – interesting when you think about it). But it also turned out my divisional HR rep was best friends with the division EVP's admin ... and the latter is a religious fundamentalist. Now – did that play at all in the divisional reorganization and in which jobs were eliminated? I don't know. On the other hand, I tend to be a little cynical about such things.

Watch your back.

[flatlander_48]

Watch your back.

Exactly.

DeeAnn

[Caden Lane]

I fully intend to ladies, hence the anonymous e-mail to feel out the situation. Thank you ever so much ladies,

Ever & Always,
Cadence

[Mirya]

I ran into this article just today, although it's a few days old:

http://planettransgender.com/meet-ch...trans-officer/

It's an article and video about a San Diego officer who came out as transgender last year. I understand it's probably easier to transition as a police officer in southern California than Georgia, but it's heartwarming to know that there are others in the country who have done it successfully.

[MissDanielle]

While I can't add to what everyone else has said at the moment, I just want to say thank you for your service.

[pamela7]

Okay, here's an idea. In the UK there are quotas for companies of sufficient size to fill minority demographics, such as disabled. It can be an asset to have the positive transperson employed. Put it that way, perhaps not in the "deep south", and HR ought to be even more welcoming?

[flatlander_48]

This might be of interest:

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2016/07/w...ansgender-cop/

DeeAnn

[Georgette_USA]

In the UK there are quotas for companies of sufficient size to fill minority demographics, such as disabled. It can be an asset to have the positive transperson employed.

Here in the WASH DC area, a friend came out as TG couple years back. She is a SGT in the LGBT group, and will help all with any problems.

Not sure in USA it is considered a Minority for employment, not sure I would want to use that as one anyway. Prefer to get a job on merits only.

[pamela7]

Yes, Georgette, everyone does want to get in on merit, but I can genuinely tell you that is quite rare. Being too good, being too threatening to the status of less able people already employed will definitely not result in a job offer. It's a political game out there.

[Rianna Humble]

In the UK there are quotas for companies of sufficient size to fill minority demographics, such as disabled.

It's not so much that there are quotas for numbers of staff being employed - although local authorities are supposed to reflect the demographics of their catchment area where possible - as that they need to be able to demonstrate that they have not excluded someone on the grounds of being disabled, LGBT, from a minority community etc.

The candidates still have to get the job on merit