Is your marriage better or worse because of your crossdressing?

[Yolanda]

Q1. My wife did my make up tonight. She put in her extentions, and I had a dress on. I already have long hair with an up cut. I looked amazing, and it almost brought me to tears. She got kinda freaked out by my reaction. I think she feels that it is some kind of goof off thing. I haven't dressed in over 8 years before this week. All I know is that telling her and dressing has brought out a wonderful sensitivity that had been missing from my personality for over 3 years. I feel like a girl today. I feel that I am gender fluid, and have a very masculine side and a wonderful feminine side. And, if accepted I know I can flow back and fourth all the time, dressed or not. My hope is that it enhances our marriage.

I'm long winded lol.

Q2: I told her on my terms. It came out when she had me try on a maternity shirt she wanted to send to her sister. I have a large chest, and her sister is busty, and I told her then. She wasn't surprised, because every now and then I put on her panties in the bedroom... So she kinda thought it was sexy.

[AnneForever]

Hi 1: I can honestly say that my marriage has improved because of it, because it forced us to really talk in a way that we haven't really been good at. So she knows me better and I know her better. After much tears and me not being able to concentrate at work (that also forced me to come out to my boss!! Luckily she didn't mind at all and said that everyone of my colleagues would support me no matter what she has accepted it at least to the extent that I can wear a bra and panties and also women's jeans and shirts whenever I like which is pretty much all the time...

2: she more or less found out on her own when she discovered my panties hidden in my drawer. I then had no choice but to confess about the whole thing. Our relationship went really downhill for a period after that and for some horrible months I was genuinely worriedly that she would leave me... But, as we have talked and I have seen a therapist, she has gradually come to terms with the situation. She even gave me one of her old jackets for me to wear

Ps: my wife and kid just left the house for 4-5 days and I going to try to venture out in my most feminine attire so far. I am scare and excited at the same time. She also took the car so I can't just run in there and go somewhere far away. I have walk out the door, wander all the way to the subway and from there take a train or bus... Wish me luck)))

[Jane G]

Q1. 3 (she understands I was born this way)

This is a very good point. Happily my wife also understands and excepts this. Even though she prefers the male side of me mostly, she excepts the female part of me and occasionally praises the benefits it brings.

[LisaJ1]

My relationship with my fiancé,#1 and I did tell her.We say our relationship is this way because of my crossdressing and she shows her support.Says Lisa is a great friend in her life and shopping partner.I do admit my life has been great since I met her and know I can dress around her as Lisa

[cdterri]

#1 here, told her before marriage and she accepted me wholeheartedly. Her take on it "Its who you are"

[Faye56]

I am sorry to say it is a 4 from me.

[Maria 60]

My wife believes our marriage is much better because of the dressing. She compares us to our other married freinds and can't believe that nobody communicates with each other and she loves to shop and share together. Thirty plus years something must be going right. Q2 I told her on my own terms, but I was alittle disappointed I did it after we were married. I guess I thought once married I wouldn't dress anymore and I was tired of living as a fugitive and didn't want to live the rest of my life as one either.

[Katie Oxford]

1, pretty clearly. Learning from earlier mistakes and consequent regrets, I told my then girlfriend, now wife early on. It isn't naturally her 'bag', but she loved the trust I showed in her by this. At that time I still had things to process regarding it - there was me, and there was secret me that loved to hang out at home in feminine clothing. The two didn't overlap, and the disconnect caused me stress. She learned details quickly, showing an absolute trust in me that permitted me to trust myself, and in the 6 years since (we married last year) I've put me and secret me back together, chatting with her about where my thinking is on the subject regularly. This is still something for doing at home, but now I understand and have confidence in the limits of what I do and don't want to do with it - and perhaps most importantly, don't feel terrified of the secret leaking out in some unexpected way. I am one person with an interest rather than two people.

So yes, a 1. It provided a means to show full trust and that let us move easily to the highest level of emotional intimacy, which is an integral part of a good marriage to me (I know some work differently and well with it; no judgement). I think we'd have got there without it, but what initially felt a nerve-racking confession turned out to be a short-cut to where we needed to arrive. Like I say, it wasn't something she was into, but she prefers trying to understand to reflexive judgement - and happily loves shopping for clothes and giving people gifts; adding me into that round came to her very easily. I crossdress at home regularly, most of my feminine clothing was bought by her, and it is just a part of what I/we do. I'm a more complete person than I was before we were together, and we are more complete together - both things intimately tied to how we react to my crossdressing.

If that sounds a bit saccharine, I apologise. But it's true.

[Krisi]

I think the choices are a little odd. Specifically "A little worse" and "Much worse". The language implies that the marriage was not good in the first place. Normally, we would like to think of our marriages as "good" without the crossdressing thing.

Time changes a lot of things so more than just the crossdressing effects a marriage over a period of years. Also, a marriage can get better in some aspects and not as good in others.

To answer your question, crossdressing has probably not made my marriage better or worse but it has changed it.

I told my wife on my terms. I've written about it here.

[wendy]

Our marriage has always been very good, so my CDing did not make things better or worse as it has always remained the same.

I told my wife about my CDing, however I think she had an her suspicions for the longest time.

[Angie G]

She knows and my marriage is much mush better. We shop for girl thing together all ghe time. And I dress 100% at home with her there.
Angie

[jacques]

1 - much better
2 - on my own terms - i had to build up a lot of courage (and Dutch courage) to tell her and my wife just said "what's the problem? - it's only clothes!" (see answer to question 1)
luv J

[Louise DK]

Our marriage is about the same. It has allways been a very good marriage, and me comming out hasent really changed that fact.
I came out on my own terms.

Louise.

[kristinacd55]

1 for the first question for me, and she knew and accepted before we got together.

After my first marriage dissolved in part because of this (and drinking among other issues) I made sure she knew front and center! This relationship now is fantastic and I am sooooo lucky to be with her.

[Trishpdxcd2]

It is a bit mixed but overall I would say it has definitely brought us closer. While my wife doesn't want to have me dressed in her company, I think she appreciates the insight I have to clothes and always asks me for opinions on her clothes. I also am trying to bring some of the more feminine characteristics into the marriage, more communication, feelings, etc. and she likes that.

[Sarah Louise]

Thank you to everyone who replied. While I don't think we can make any concrete conclusions, just over half of those who replied said their marriage was better while about a quarter said it was worse. I was a little surprised by the latter as reading the various threads, my perception was that there would not be so many where things have got worse.

Maybe it goes to show that coming out to your wife is not always as good an idea as many on here think? Totally unscientific of course, but interesting none-the-less.

[CONSUELO]

I came out to my wife before we were married and she did not see my cross dressing as a barrier to proceeding with the marriage. Afterward she began to object to my dressing around the house. Now I do as I want and dress as I want but being in the open about my cross dressing well before we were married did not seem to help us at all. Looking back I realize that she did not really understand transvestism and as this was well before the availability of the Internet, it was difficult to be properly educated about the subject.

So, my being a fetishistic transvestite (a more thorough description of my "condition") has not helped my marriage at all but I am glad that I am being open about it and not creeping around in the shadows of shame.

[Dianna_ericka]

I told my then girlfriend on my own terms very early on our dating time, her reaction was great, she started to give me gifts related with like panties and pantyhoses, even she performed the pierces on my ears.
I am a very hapy CD-girlish man, I always wear something from underwaear or nail polish, we are a very happy couple.

[shellybme]

Mine is a 3 hopefully in the future it could be a 1 but I am not rushing it. I told her myself, I made a promise to myself that if we got married there would be no secrets.

[michiganjenn]

Divorced twice over it but happier now