Did Dressing as a Female At Halloween Help with your "coming out" to your wife/SO?

[Sarasometimes]

I'm in an presumed DADT, I dressed for 8 consecutive Halloweens, she found this forum in my history years ago, she has noticed possible makeup remnants on my face, a stay clip earring in my car i wear women's jeans and panties (microfiber for support) with her approval...
So my question to those who have come out to your wife or even an SO after being together for a while an having a history of Cding for Halloween. Did that soften the reveal for your them and do you think that dressing for Halloween is taken as a hint by GG's. I'm not looking for input or advice about my coming out, just general info from other's experiences.
GG's please respond as well.

Thank you

[oh to be rachel]

It was a major icebreaker. My wife has dozens of wedding dresses from her job (t's a long story). We keep them up in the attic.

I had never dressed in front of her or outside at all.

Well, a couple of years ago we needed to put some up in the attic and I'm not exactly sure how it went down but either her or myself said "any of them my size for halloween?" Which lead to me slipping off my jeans and trying on 5 or so dresses. (Really tough to hide the protruding excitement in my briefs.) That year we went as a married couple, both in dresses. She bought me a bra, makeup and various other stuff. I found a wig. It was very exciting on a personal level, but my male neighbors were really asinine which tempered my thoughts about doing it again. Mostly getting felt up by guys and me telling them "dude, that's a pair of socks, you know?" But I won the custom prize, $50.

The next year, I went with some cartoon outfit that truly sucked.

But 2015, thank you Caitlyn Jenner! We went as the Jenners! My wife as an early version of Bruce and me as Caitlyn. Pink fog time. Got to shave my legs, chest, pits and got my back waxed. Bought breast forms to glue down with a couple of other bras. We did a trip to a resale shop to find an outfit (really freaked out some teens looking for prom dresses) where I probably had 3+ women throwing dresses over the fitting room door for me to try on. Had a trip to a nail salon where I got a mani-pedi with deep red color. Heels from Sears. TOTAL DIVA!

As this was a different party, much younger crowd, I got felt up by a bunch of women (and reciprocated). Had long chats about leg shaving and boobs. Had one woman do a heart to heart about her transgender brother (don't know if she was trying to get me "out" or not.) The weird thing was several woman made the remark to my wife (with me in ear range) "What if he likes it too much?"

I won a trophy for best costume that party too. (Plus we were invited to several other parties that unfortunately we could not attend.)

So several months ago, my wife is sizing some wedding dresses to loan to a friend for an event and she says "hey, try this on, and this one too. And this one."

And it comes down to this, with my Caitlyn wig is hanging prominently in my closet. My wife said to me the other day, "you know, the other month when I had you try on those dresses... you really liked it didn't you?"

I am going to turn these two halloweens into a dinner in Philly this fall. I'm planning it in my head now.

[Alexa CD]

I've always wanted to but have never had the chance! I can imagine it would be taken as a hint by some genetic women, in my experience they're particularly tuned in because they'd love nothing more than have this kind of thing be true you know, at least that's what teenage girls are like.

[OCCarly]

I've made it all the way on to hormones without ever dressing as a girl for Halloween. I fantasized about it my entire life, but was always too chicken to take the plunge. But now that I am on hormones, this Halloween, I am definitely going to wear a cute female costume. Sexy witch, maybe?

[josrphine]

Hi Sara, In 2005 I was have problems with my then wife, we are divorced now. It was Halloween an my then wife about a wk before said to me as she new I dressed. Why don't you go to one these Cd groups to try an get straighten out. I had contacted this group in Connecticut an talked with the membership person. He/she said why don't you come to our halloween party, I was thrilled as I never been out dressed. I let her know that I would be glad to drive, she accepted. My then wife had no comment. The night came, I was so excited. I had a nice dress an heels an my make up was so so. When I got to her house an rang the door bell her wife came to the door, she looked at me , you know that look an said he will be right down an left me waiting at the door. She came down an she was beautiful I was so inpressed. She had a play boy bunny outfit on an being over 6 ft I was really you know knocked out, see even had 3 inch heels on. We went to the meeting an there was a least 20 other gurls there. I was having a great time. It came to an end about 9:00 an the leader said we were going to the local club in Hartford, it took all mt courage just to come out that night. Well when we got to the club I was at the back of the group and felt a present next to me, so I turned an here was I guess guy in all leather. My thoughts were I wonder if he is looking at me an saying to him self like I was thinking of him what a weirdo. Well the lead gurls came back to us in a group an said that the person letting everone in had advised us to go to another place as it was leather night. I kind of said to my self O K that was a adventure an though that would be the night. Well not so fast we now were heading to the other club. This one I had to park 3 blocks away an with another girl had to walk thru a tuff naberhood me in high heels. As we neared the club I saw all kinds of people out side. Now i was beside my self got to the door an it was all guys dressed as women " wow " The first thing i did was head for the Bar needed a drink, the bartender was nice called me mam an I got my beer. This beautiful girl was by my side, all of a sudden this guy came over an talked to her an this barton voice said O K. " WOW AGAIN ' . I have never looked back that was my first time out an Halloween. I now dress 80% of the time with new wife an she love it, got real lucky . Jo

[Katya@]

Hi Rachel,

Your story is amazing...as if a dream of every one of us come true

[Stephanie47]

Sara, if I were placing a wager I'd say your wife knows you like to wear women's clothing. She may not know how to act on her presumed knowledge, but, I'm pretty sure she has figured it out. She may be waiting for you to get the gonads to come clean. You think she has not lurked on this site too? I would not be surprised if a lot of wives have perused this site and have identified their husbands.

Maybe, instead of going to a Halloween Party try going en femme on Halloween to a restaurant and a movie. Get rid of the comical side of Halloween and see how she reacts to the proposal.

Years ago my wife and I ran into her father and his girlfriend outside of the local Eagles club. He was en femme, and, frankly he looked like a guy in a dress and wig. No real attempt to go undetected. He had a great time so I heard. My wife does not remember that encounter at all. It must be a mental block toward my cross dressing desires. I was envious. I did go out twice on Halloweens alone after my wife and kids went to bed. In retrospect she must have known what I did. How can she have missed that big body mass that sleeps beside her?

[Dana44]

Since i was already out we went shopping for costumes and she helped me pick a good one and skeleton stockings to go with it. We love Halloween and we are dressed as two gals. Her costume is really nice also. I helped her with that.

[Allison2006]

Our first Halloween together, my wife wanted me to dress as a girl. We were dating at the time and she didn't know that I was a cross dresser. When I told her a year or so later that I was she was not very accepting. Told me I could keep my women' clothes but she didn't want to see me in it. I didn't dress in front of her or bring it up again till several years later. We had the house to ourselves for Halloween and without advanced warning I dressed as a maid. In the course of the conversation that evening I found that over time she had become really accepting of the idea of me cross dressing and has been ever since. So I guess you could say that I had mixed experience on dressing for Halloween "softening the reveal".

[Karen RHT]

No "softening" at Halloween here. Even though my wife is accepting of my CD'ing for the most part, she also agrees with the concept that if you present well at Halloween, those socializing with you, will form the idea that you do it frequently and will question about it. It's the questions my wife doesn't want any part of, so that's why she rejects the idea of me dressing in public view at Halloween.


Karen

[Jenniferathome]

.. I dressed for 8 consecutive Halloweens,
...she found this forum in my history years ago,
...she has noticed possible makeup remnants on my face,
...a stay clip earring in my car
...i wear women's jeans and panties (microfiber for support) with her approval...


...do you think that dressing for Halloween is taken as a hint by GG's.

First of all, you ARE out.

Secondly, NO, no one can "hint" their way to coming out as a cross dresser. If one were to dress every Halloween as a woman, the SO would likely see that as a weird kink and NOT connect this to being a cross dresser. The idea of hinting one's way to a reveal is a common notion here but it is fraught with problems. The greatest of those being that "cross dresser" is not in the average women's lexicon. Additionally, a "hint" is not in your control and if any dots are connected, she will likely think the worst: transition, simply because of the fact I stated first.

Lastly, any SO deserves better than a hint. If you re coming out, come out. Say it all and say it once.

[Sarasometimes]

Jennifer, thanks for the reply and I think you are mistaken when you speak on behalf of an "entire" group (any SO). Also in the second to last line of my post, I said that I had no desire to get advice as far as how I should handle my specific situation.

[Taylor186]

If one were to dress every Halloween as a woman, the SO would likely see that as a weird kink and NOT connect this to being a cross dresser.

This was 100% true for me. My now wife and I dated for seven years before getting married. Every year we dated I dressed in women's clothing at Halloween, including the Halloween night we met. Yes, I disguised it with cat whiskers and a cat nose, but every year I wore heels, hose, skirt, gal top, makeup, earrings, a wig store wig (not a cheap costume wig) and all the appropriate undergarments. When we finally had the talk she was totally surprised. And, this from a gal with undergrad and grad degrees. Prior to the talk she just thought I had an 'edgy' side that came out at Halloween. Of course, she connected the dots after our talk but, surprisingly to me, not before. I read somewhere that "people often don't see what they don't want to see." That seemed to apply in some way to my case. It was a bumpy road for a while but she has come to accept that I am a crossdresser. We're working on our 17th year of marriage and all-in-all things seem pretty solid.

[Lorileah]

] Also in the second to last line of my post, I said that I had no desire to get advice as far as how I should handle my specific situation.

I think Jennifer was referring to everyone not YOU specifically.

[xNicolex]

Looks like I walked in on something :/ claws away girls lol sarasomtimes I'm sure that halloween has been a great icebreaker for many of us or even the only time some could get out. For me I just told my SO outright, but hints are common place for many of us. This forum is littered with so many stories of people using subtle tactics to come out to their SO. Jenniferathome, I don't think its fair for you to say ''If you are coming out, come out. Say it all and say it once'' It is not that easy for everyone. I agree with Leslie Langford as I found jennifers reply empty of any understanding towards your fellow crossdressers. Also sarasomtimes didn't ask for an opinion on it she just asked for shared experiences. I will close with this, if you can take the time to read and reply to a thread, then you can also take the time to consider that persons feelings before you touch the keys.

[Jenniferathome]

I think Jennifer was referring to everyone not YOU specifically.

Yup. Seemed pretty obvious to me.

[Lorileah]

OK, knock it off. you want to snipe, do it in PM.

Opinions were asked, opinions were posted.

[Leslie Langford]

Yes, some attitudes here could certainly use some adjustment. I rest my (post deleted) case...

[JamieG]

Halloween gave me an outlet to explore my crossdressing. Before I even met my wife, I bought a "unisex" jester costume and wore it to a party with a few friends. The costume was a tunic, floppy hat, curly shoes and two-tone tights. However, the tunic was basically a minidress, so I was essentially crossdressing. I was surprised to meet a couple of pretty girls at the party who thought I was cute in my costume. I met my wife the next year, and wore the same outfit to a party with her (she dressed as a queen). She new I had a "kink" for tights, but didn't suspect full blown crossdressing. A few years later I ended up buying a red unitard and making a Spiderman costume. That was also a blast to wear, and my wife thought I looked cute in it. I don't think it softened the reveal at all. My coming out was pretty horrible, and we had a very rough couple of months afterwards where are relationship was essentially hanging on by a thread. However, over time, things started to soften, and later that year, we went to a party as two female pop singers. She purchased most of my outfit and did my makeup for me. It was a blast for me, but sort of a one-time deal for her. We did one more Halloween party with me in drag about 10 years later, but she didn't help at all with my costume.

[njcddresser]

I used Halloween a few yeas ago to come out to myself and my wife that I was a crossdresser. I knew inside that I was a crossdresser but had been able to suppress my feminine desires for most of my adult life.

I went as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. had a cute outfit and wig. Shaved my legs and arms. Wife did my make up.

After Halloween was over, I told my wife how much I liked dressing as a woman and that it was something I wanted to do.

She asked the typical questions... Are you gay, do you want to be a woman, etc.

Since then, she has been very supportive of me and I have accepted that this is who I am and that I have never been happier.

[Rhian]

I think some women will find it about it a bit deceitful when you eventually reveal your crossdressing to them as they will realise you were using Halloween as a an excuse to fulfil your desires and not as a simple joke. I have dressed up in drag for Halloween and a lot of girls liked it as it shows a lot of self confidence but I suspect the reactions would be quite different if I labelled myself as a crossdresser.

[Tracii G]

Never saw Halloween as a reason to dress up in womens clothes.
I don't see it as making coming out any easier.

[Majella St Gerard]

The dressing on halloween is what hooked me, my first wife didn't really like it, second wife encouraged it but we just broke up for other reasons.

[Desiree2bababe]

I'd came out to my then girlfriend prior to our outing on Halloween but I can say going out dressed did help in that it showed her how adept at being a woman I was. So much so that she blurted out "You're so feminine, let's go find some men!" I didn't want to reveal my bisexuality to her at that point and regretfully declined. To this day, I wish I'd said, "Heck yeah, let's go!" After we married and she learned I liked men too, that's when she became more agitated every time I dressed but would always allow it on Halloween around the house while she was there. I recall having to be the one to go out for more candy and she always accused me of taking too long, hinting I must have found a man while I was out.

[Randee]

I made several costumes for Halloween with women's leotards and tights as a base cause 1)they were cheaper than renting and could be reused at other parties, 2) it made for an excuse to be out with a girlfriend wearing my outfit to a party, and 3) gave me good excuse as if I needed one for having womens leotards and tights in my wardrobe. Usually dressed as nothing feminine, just using the leotard/tights as a base. Been Superman, Jolly Green Giant, scuba diver, and a few other ideas. But I would be able to finish the evening with her out of costume except for my leotards and tights and confide that I really liked the feel of being dressed in them. This led to many adventures dressing for her, dressing together for pleasure, and attending dance classes together dressed alike, learning to dance the all girl dance number, and getting dressed in her sexy dance costumes from previous recitals. Also a good excuse to be trying on items in dance wear stores.