Is anybody actually having sex?

[pamela7]

some of us have a lot of sex, some of us have even found more and better spiced-up sex since the trans emerged.
the whole male hair thing turns me off, I really can't think of a male sexually these days, i've become even more female-centric!
sex isn't important as such, it's just part of an intimate relationship ;-)

[Marcelle]

Hi Paula,

Hmmm . . . interesting question. Well in a word "no". However I can say it is not solely related to transitioning as "sex" has really held no thrall for me. Okay this is going to sound a bit lame but sex for me was and is a biological function which had a pleasant aspect but it was the connection with the other person which held the magic not the act. Don't get me wrong thoroughly enjoyed it when I was young and still do but it is kind of like drinking when you are underage . . . super exciting . . . but once you reach the age of majority . . . meh, the excitement dissipates. Since my transition my wife and I are still intimate but in a connection sort of way and in some ways it is a much stronger intimacy than sex ever was. Perhaps it has something to do with letting go of the male façade and allowing myself to just be me with her. Sex waned long ago and perhaps it had something to do with being trans and just not accepting it . . . the psyche is a funny place, it could be age or just the way we are wired (sex was not a big thing for her either). We find more intimacy sitting, talking and laughing then we ever did doing the horizontal mamba

As far as attraction . . . still like the ladies

Cheers

Marcelle

As far as attraction . . . still like the ladies

[Eringirl]

Jenn- You, Erin and I talked about this last dinner. It was followed by an embarrassing silence.
Georgette- I think alot of us think in terms of attraction to the person, the parts become secondary, if important at all.

Hey Paula: I am quite happy to have this discussion....I guess for me it is just a short one wrt to my contribution. I am pretty sorted out, so not much to say from my perspective. Like Jenn, self imposed celibacy, but that does not bother me at all. Sex is the farthest thing from my mind right now. I am just sooo happy with my life right now. And being north of 50, basic biology also contributes with a reduction in libido, along with zero T in my system (thank god!!).

Now, all that being said, I am starting to think about a relationship, which up until now, has not been on my radar screen. I had way too much going on in my life, and I had to focus on taking care of me, that I had absolutely zero energy or time to deal with caring for someone else. Now, as I settle into my "new normal" I am starting to miss being able to share things with someone. So for me, it is more about the relationship and companionship at this point. Not a thought about a sex. And for the record, as you know, I am 100% bona fide lesbian, no ifs, ands, or buts....(okay, that was a reeealllllly bad pun!)

Looking forward to when the three amigas can get together again....happy to revisit the discussion.....

[I Am Paula]

Interesting answers, and I'm glad they are all over the place. If everyone was having sex but me, I'd feel left out. If no one was having sex, I'd say we have an issue here.
Ironically, the press to the right seems to think we are all nymphomaniacs, out to steal husbands.
Those without- I hope we can all find someone to love, or at least a really good cuddle.

[becky77]

No
There are three reasons
1, Can't even consider action until after SRS
2, I'm borderline asexual and relationship material, I don't particularly like sex unless it had deeper meaning. Maybe that would change if I had better body confidence.
3, No one has shown any interest.

[PaulaQ]

Ironically, the press to the right seems to think we are all nymphomaniacs, out to steal husbands.

They never assume we're out to steal wives. So sexist! :O

Forgot to mention, that even if for some reason I didn't want sex anymore (for example, because the GRS revision I have week after next goes horribly wrong), I'd still do kink. I'd just expect that after a while without sex, I'd be just really, really mean. I'm really hoping the revision goes well, because I'd describe my ability to orgasm now as varying between "exceedingly mild" to "faking it." (You know how, when it's really hot outside, and you walk into a cool room, and put a cold damp cloth on your forehead, you feel this pleasant but mild sense of relief? Yeah, that's about where I am with orgasms - that's about the intensity of one of the good ones.)

[Jennifer-GWN]

I hope we can all find someone to love, or at least a really good cuddle.

I have no doubt...

[whowhatwhen]

The LGBTQ friendly community is too intertwined with the kink community and this makes it very difficult to find a partner to kinkshame with.
FOREVER ALONE AGAIN

[LeaP]

Sex ... Sex? I had sex once.

Funny - I dreamed about it last night, so there's something there. But the AA's have effectively killed it dead.

[Lorileah]

Well I was feeling pretty good about how LITTLE (OK none) I was getting until this...

You girls are making me feel like the village floozy!

I'm just jealous of your relationship - I'm not as chaste as the rest of these ladies.

My standing, I am the virgin geek girl in the hallway looking at the "cool" kids and wondering exactly how do I get to be the bad girl but not losing my "good" girl image. Am I having sex nope. Do I want sex? Yep. Will I get sex. Looking grim. Been so close in the last few months but the imposed embargo by a certain medical person didn't help.

I tried, I really did. I went out there and placed profiles on dating sites. Got bunches of hits from guys. Then systematically they went away when I told them about the past. I know, I know, I should have just shut up, except two things. I need to be honest about this (it hurts like hell when you find out your partner was dishonest and they WILL find out) and I have a fear of Transrage if I don't. I have lived to long to die at the hands of an angry lover (mine or someone else's).

That and I am picky. OK funny story (well it is to me anyway). I am still on one dating site, totally upfromt and honest and I get a message. This guys wants to meet and tells me that specifically it was the "poly" part of my profile that attracted him. AND then a second message from another guy asking how Transpeople had sex. and added I could be his "first" transwoman. Yeah. So the poly guy really meant he wanted me as a side friend with benefits and that safety was a low priority. The "first" guy failed because he just wanted a new kink or thrill. So no roses were handed out.

Sigh, so I had a threesome last night. Me, and Ben and Jerry. Hot fudge was involved

[whowhatwhen]

Sigh, so I had a threesome last night. Me, and Ben and Jerry. Hot fudge was involved

I'm angling for the wine, several cats, and eventual craziness brought upon by toxoplasmosis plan.
Your plan sounds good too

[Emma Beth]

Well, I can say that I'm having lots of sex. None of it is with a partner at the moment.

I am in a kind of relationship with someone special. She's going through a lot of healing and she's also Trans.

For the most part, I'm learning to love myself. That's my priority at the moment. And the sex with myself is rrrrealy FANTASTIC.

All mostly because I'm exploring a lot about myself.

Am I attracted to women? Yes. Am I attracted to men? I think so. Does it matter? Not at this time.

Now I do have three virtual games that have been instrumental in helping me interact socially and sexually with others as a woman. They have even helped me find out that I do like and want some kink in my life, as well as enjoy being treated as a woman by men and I love interacting on many levels with other women; even sexually. I met the girl that I have a relationship with through one of these virtual games.

[GBJoker]

Who's having sex, and who's not? Would you if you found a compatible partner? Are you still attracted to the same sex as you were previously? Is your ideal date staying home and watching T.V.? Is it important to you, now, or in the future?

Not I, that's for sure. No. Yes. I dunno. More important than I can put into words.

[Tracii G]

Its been so long for me I forgot which arm its under.

[Angela Campbell]

sex just isn't a big part of my daily thinking. Not opposed to it, but not on my mind much. I've experimented enough to make sure all the new parts work, but it's just not a driving force.

[grace7777]

I have had very little sex in my life, and right now I have a lot bigger priorities than sex.

[karenpayneoregon]

About eight months post-op I began exploring opportunities with men and woman. I'm not the type who cares for a long term relationship at the moment yet open to one in the future.

For about three months had casual sex with a men I knew and was a great time but then joined a swingers club and quickly learned I could be with a couple, a group of females or a man.

It all depends on many things e.g. yesterday I was burning for a sexual encounter and was picked up at a LGBT club by a female ten years younger than me, very much enjoyed each others company for the evening. Last weekend there was no drive so I pleasured myself.

I would say over the past eight months I have been very sexually active with the same people, not into one night stands at all.

[karla2016]

Cuddling counts?

Karla

[jentay1367]

Sigh, so I had a threesome last night. Me, and Ben and Jerry. Hot fudge was involved

L.O.L. THANKS.... I'm cleaning the coffee off my monitor right now. Too funny!

[antonyio]

sex,whats that,havent since I came out as trans

[Suzanne F]

I am just beginning to try!!!! Once by myself and once with my wife. I can't quite get there yet but I am very encouraged. That is after having SRS on May 13th. There is hope!!!
Suzanne