He is missing out on a wonderful, wonderful girl.
You have the patience of a goddess but the fact that it has become even more abusive is unacceptable. You are absolutely right to escape this relationship.
I wish you all the best in the future and I hope that she can eventually bring herself back to reality.
You are and incredible person and definitely deserve better. Love, respect, compassion and honesty have to flow both ways.
Dani
Babyblue ---
I hope you are not offended by what I have to say but I feel that you could possibly be in danger.
He sound like a selfish, abusive bully. I don't know what your financial or social situation is outside of your home but if I were you, I would be looking for a way out. Do not stand for physical and/or mental abuse. You are worth more than that. Also, don't subject your children to that kind of behavior.
The ideal situation would be for him to have a heart to heart talk with you and come to some type of understanding that is mutually agreeable. From what you said, I'm not sure he is in the mindset to have that talk. It's hard to break up a family but my husband came from an abusive home and the scars may heal physically but mentally, they last forever.
I wish you the best and hope your situation improves. It does take two to make it work. You can't do it by yourself. You have put up with a lot already.
Judging by the abusive behavior you describe further in your post, I'm glad that you are finding a way out.Originally Posted by Babyblue1984
Please be careful and be safe. I'm sorry it has to end like this.
Reine
Hi ladies,
Again, I am humbled by your outpouring of love and support and I am forever thankful. I burst in to tears reading your responses, it has empowered me. @Chargg- you are right, he did come from a very abusive home and that has now carried over in to our relationship. And- I'm struggling. I gave up my career, my home, my- life. For him. For our kids. I am in the process of reestablishing my career and trying to keep things as normal for the kids as possible and..keep my sanity. I can't believe I've become "that girl" in an abusive relationship. I can't believe I allowed him to speak to me in such a negative manner and exert his control in front of our kids but- it's not about the road you've walked, it's about the road ahead, right? I feel broken and so homesick, wishing things could go back to the way they were when we were happy. I'm encouraged that he today, for the first time, acknowledged he had brought distrust, drugs, abuse, and acknowledged how his the addition of his evolved/additional "kinks", as he put it, and his selfishness had been a main factor in our deterioration.
I wish he'd opened up to me. I wanted him to feel free to be herself, with VERY minimal "rules" or limits and can't for the life of me understand why it was all or nothing. Why my feelings and needs weren't a factor or why I was willing to go to the lengths I did only to be told it wasn't enough or as much as she wanted. I'm confused and saddened because unknown that I've been the only partner she's ever had a serious relationship that even permitted that kind of play let alone accepted it as part of our relationship.
Abuse is not acceptable- ever. A hard limit for me and that limit was reached and well exceeded, especially considering it was fully unprovoked.
What beautiful ladies you all are- inside and out. I hope one day she'll be open to joining a community such as this so she'll have a better understanding of herself and her partners needs and do better with her next relationship, whenever the time comes.
I will rebuild, I will renew, I will rise from the ashes and I will grow, however, It's tough to see the light tonight but YOU ladies have given me HOPE. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY VERY BROKEN HEART-
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