There’s lots of focus on the early trials and tribulations for the core transition period; but what about afterwards when “life begins to ‘cough settle down”?
I’m putting this out there in part because I’m now in the center of this particular period and probably in part due to the fact I have idle time giving me time to think (never a good idea).
Everyone’s transition path is different but one thing that can’t be bypassed is year 2. My path took the long slow road until such time as I viewed it right to initiate what I refer to as the mechanical aspect of transition HRT in earnest and “the big step” coming out and going full time. For me this represented a period of 18 months and quite a ride.
Anyway I’m here at the second year having been FT 7/24 for over a year now. In retrospect one thing I’ve learned along the way is you can prepare all you want but you never know what’s in-store until you get there and all too often hindsight becomes 20/20. If I’d only known before… Reality is as many have said in other posts … until you are in it you really don’t know how aspects of your transition are going to go or effect you.
Life is settling to a normal flow. Everyone knows; I get up in the morning and go about my day without hesitation or issue. I travel; no issue. I have lots of friends around me locally and around the world; cis and trans, love them all.
Life is good; so what’s the issue?
I know for me in particular I have a greater thrust for social situations since going full time. I was closeted for far too long having split with my wife more than 10 years ago although we’ve remained quite close. Over that period my world was work, my son, and my house (the cave). Even my neighbors commented about only seeing me once in a blue moon; situation is much different there now.
What does the terrible two’s represent?
• Is it just further getting comfortable in your skin?
• Is it a new sense of social need coming from years of closeted hiding and perhaps self-imposed shame?
• Is it that you’ve spent so much time and energy getting here that suddenly there’s a void that needs filling?
• Is it Emotional, Relationship, and companionship struggles as you look beyond yourself?
• Is it finalizing the mechanical aspect of my transition; SRS and potential FFS
• Or is it simply life returning to a new normal and the associated trials, tribulations, issues, and challenges that life brings with or without transition?
For me there are aspects of all these as I look forward wondering what’s next and how my life will unfold?
Again lots of focus on core transitioning rightly so; but as this forum matures and we ourselves mature in our own progress and lives, new challenges come. This is not to suggest that transitioning never ends; for me I consider myself transitioned.
Yes I have a few milestones left like SRS; and yes these do occupy a good deal of thought. They likely fall into the space of; as much as I learn and plan, I’ll really not know until I get there what I’m in for despite being close to several in the midst of this part today.
At this point I happy going about my day as an Integrated Woman while wondering what’s ahead.
Perhaps year 2 is the realizations of life; full of fun, full of interesting opportunities, full of day to day challenges and issues, and the end mostly just life as everyone faces it.
Curious what others think/experience in year 2 and beyond...
Jennifer (This is what happens when the brain is left off the leash)
Originally Posted by I Am Paula
