Hello,

I'm 46 years old and a new cross-dresser. Yesterday was my first day totally dressed(dress, shoes, makeup, wig). Even though my makeup looked beyond awful, I really enjoyed myself--more than I could have imagined. It wasn't so much the sexual turn on that I thought it would be, but it was very fun and exciting. Anyway, I thought that I'd share a few thoughts with the forum.

I've thought about what it would be like to dress for many years. But, I never really thought that it was something that I'd actually do. I'm not sure what lit the fuse after all these years. Mid-life crisis? I don't know. But, I do hear a clock ticking louder and louder. There are things that I need to get done.

One of the reasons that I thought that I would never actually dress was buying the clothes and accoutrements. I never thought I would have the nerve. Well, it was much easier then I imagined. The sales associate at the Payless was nice and pretty helpful. I was trying the shoes on so there was no question who the ladies size 12's were for. She didn't bat an eye. She even suggested the little socks/liners when I was checking out.

Funny thing at Target, I thought that I'd just use the self-check out. When I got to the registers, I noticed that the self checks out were closed. Oy. The cashier gave me a little bit of a look as I bought a bra, panties, and all of my makeup. But, she didn't say anything. So, could have been worse.

One thing I'll need to be careful of, I can see buying clothes getting addictive. I want to walk out of every store with a shopping cart full of dresses.

On a different topic, I'm the type that has a lot of difficulty smiling for pictures. But I took several pictures of myself while dressed last night and I couldn't stop smiling. Great, big, ear-to-ear smiles at that. I can't remember the last time I've enjoyed myself so much.

I'd love to go out dressed. I'll need to solve a couple of problems first. One, I'll need to get the makeup down better. Right now, I look like Betty Davis in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. Also, I'll need to figure out how to get out the door without the neighbors spotting me. There are about 20 apartments and everyone can see everyone else's front door.

Well, there are some random thoughts. Thanks for reading.

~Julie