Regrets

[gailprice]

Just a quick question.....Has anyone NOT regretted doing a complete purge?

I have never purged in all my 49 years of being gender fluid. Some will say "lucky you" but I am not sure I could bring myself to do it.
I do feel for those who see no other choice.

Gail xxxx

[Dana44]

No I regret all that I purged through the years. That said, is no problem as they can be replaced. However, I had very nice pumps that cannot be replaced as there is none like them on the market. But the clothes yes. I will not purge again, i hope anyways. But you probably have to go though your stuff and get rid of old things like any woman does. I am gender fluid also and some of the road has been tough.

[mdavis]

Like Dana. I've purged 3 or four times. Of all those times, the only things I've regretted purging were shoes or boots. I typically have bought my clothes at Value Village (or the like). I have occasionally bought items new but not often. But, when I find a pair of shoes (or boots........LOVE BOOTS) that I like.........it's very hard to part with them.

[bridget thronton]

I only purged once (long time ago) not much stuff but I still miss a couple things

[lainey]

Recently, I've done a few small clothing purges and have no regrets. I don't know if I ever could do a complete purge. 3 years ago I purged many pictures and have regrets. I'm keeping that visual memory in my head.

[Tracii G]

Never hated myself and what I do enough to purge.

[NancySue]

I purged once, then never more..never more. I knew my dressing would return and it did. My supportive wife even questioned my purging more from a financial point of view. She was right. We both have high tastes in clothes, make up, heels, etc. Even though my interests have wained, I've kept everything and am glad I did. It's still fun to go shopping. 😉👠

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Gail, I have never purged but I have donated to thrift stores over the years and
a couple times I bought an item back ******

[Lorileah]

seems no has NOT regretted doing it. With that responses to the OP asked for those who didn't regret purging. Otherwise this is a redundant thread

[BarbraAnne]

I never actually purged. I did donate most of my clothes to a CD group when I retired and traveled. But I kept the items that I thought would be hard or expensive to replace, such as wigs, gowns and suits. Those I stored with relatives for several years until I settled down again.

[Teresa]

Gail,
When you live with CDing 24/7 what's the point, besides I started with hand downs from my wife so she knew I had them. The one promise I made my wife was my dressing wasn't going to cost a fortune, she knows I check out charity shops but would prefer me not to do it in my home town.

Sorry Lorileah I've just read your comment , you can delete my reply if you wish .

[Abby710]

I do regret purging yes, as with others here I got rid of some amazing stuff however I also recognise that I HAD to purge and go through all the association pain and strife to get to where I am and learn more about this side of me, it was kind of part and parcel as it were.

[Lorileah]

Meh Teresa...I doubt anyone will post they didn't regret it. Most will have lost something they would he liked to keep

[sometimes_miss]

I tossed my stuff before I got married. I truly believed that I had 'beaten it'. In retrospect, there wasn't anything I had trouble replacing, by that time I had become quite adept at mail order, as even my male clothing sizes were rarely found 'in the wild'. Used to have to walk into a store and ask what they had in my size; often, not much. On one vacation, when the airline misplaced my luggage, I wound up buying whatever I could find that I fit in, and wound up looking like a Salvation Army outlet manikin of mismatched clothes. I was lucky it wasn't a business trip.

[Lana Mae]

Purged only once when a teen!! No real regrets as those nice black panties would not fit me now!!! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[NicoleScott]

If we didn't regret it, we wouldn't have eventually (but usually sooner than later) rebuilt a wardrobe.
My last of 3 purges was 23 years ago. Yes, I would like to have some of that stuff back.
Culling or updating is not purging.

[SamanthaDarling120]

I have purged so many times I cannot count. I regret it because I have no clothes to wear as of right now. I usually have at least one outfit to wear. I hope one day to have many, but that won't be till I have my own place. I used to "borrow" my brothers girlfriends clothes but would always return them. Usually out of guilt. I guess I need to just accept who I am so this guilt and disgust I get sometimes goes away for good.

[jen_ross]

Samantha, you are on the right track when you say you have to accept who you are. I can't imagine purging my stuff, as limited as my collection is. I might give some stuff to Goodwill that I was too lazy to return. Actually I am not keen on returning things and some of my online purchases end up not fitting that well, so I will probably end up donating it but not out of shame or disgust. In the last year or so I have actually revealed to a couple of therapists (whom I saw for a couple of visits on something unrelated) my enjoyment of girl stuff with great results. I mean, they were very positive when I told them about my interest in makeup, specifically lipstick. This was before I started to acquire lingerie, but it was very affirming how enthusiastic they were in accepting me. It was so great and liberating to tell someone besides my wife, and to have them give me positive feedback. My point in saying this is, you might want to see a therapist for reassurance that it's o.k. to be the way you are.
<Sorry I responded more to Samantha's reply than the original post, I just gathered she is really struggling so felt compelled to respond to that >

[SamanthaDarling120]

Thanks a lot Jen. I appreciate it. I am struggling and it was kind of you to offer advice.

[freeindress]

I regret the big purge under mind control from an ex girlfriend (who became very unsupportive before the end of the relationship despite I was in drag when we met, and also stole some of my favorite dresses). Then later I could buy a swimsuit back from an eBay buyer, and buy another overalls dress with a different color than before.

[LaurenS]

the only reason I don't regret my two purges is because the clothes weren't that great, and the makeup was getting old.

I have gotten a lot better with both since then. 😀

[DanielleLee]

Folks that DON'T regret their purges? Pretty sure that's going to be a small minority on this site

[Tina_gm]

I know everyone usually says don't, or I regretted it. Not saying that is wrong advice, or that they didn't regret it. I always feel that generally the actions we take at any given time, unless we are in such a truly dark spot or having substance abuse issues which do greatly effect our mental health are the right actions, for the time. Clothing and other items can be attained again, when a person is feeling ok with it. I would just say to others, don't beat yourself up from a purge and if you are really feeling a strong feeling to, then do so. You can always acquire stuff later, when you are more at peace with yourself.

[MichelleDevon]

I think purging is always going to lead to regrets. I haven't ever purged - there are too many clothes I love to go through the angst of getting rid.

Given that we believe our urge to dress is not going to go away I find it hard to understand why someone would get to the point of thinking this is a good idea. I know guilt and shame can be very powerful drivers for people to do things which in a sane moment they wouldn't do but the thought of getting rid of so much stuff would surely drive me back to sanity. I did a tot-up the weekend before last - I have 32 dresses, about the same number of skirts and I can't begin to think how many tops of various sorts. And a storage box of new stockings and pantyhose - over 100 unworn pairs. Then there are the 2 drawers full of satin undies and nightwear...there must be thousands of pounds worth of Michelle's clothes - purge? Me? Not on your nelly!!!!!!! "Regret" wouldn't come close to describing my post-purge state of mind!!!

[Tina_gm]

Michelle, I am not saying purging is a good idea for anyone whenever an urge to do so pops up. But regrets? who hasn't regretted things they have done or not done in their life at some point? It is an emotion that does not have to cripple us necessarily. There are a great many of us out there who do not have or are not at a comfort zone with it all, at least not at the moment. What I am saying is to not beat ourselves up with this. If it is not comfortable NOW, and having stuff is uncomfortable, then go ahead and purge. We can always re acquire stuff when a time comes when our life or our comfort suites it better. The urge to purge is due to discomfort, from whatever reason there is. And I sometimes feel that the advice to fight the discomfort is not always good advice. Some people don't have the gender variance as strong as others. or their life doesn't fit well with it at the moment. I know it is always on here about embracing it. And I am not advocating against that either. We should embrace ourselves, but this gender variance stuff can get real complicated at times, and sometimes some of us do need a break from it.