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Thread: How long til the wanna-be TG's become an epidemic?

  1. #1
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    How long til the wanna-be TG's become an epidemic?

    I am not talking about us real TG who live this life but sometimes bicker about who is real or not. I mean when being TG becomes more mainstream and all the sudden you see it everywhere.

    So, the media rolled out Miss Canada, Jazz Jennings and Caitlyn Jenner. Target decided to have this restroom policy. TG rights seems to be a big subject right now.

    I have no clue how this all got started. Let us be honest here - there just are not that many TS out there. Yeah there are the part time CD's and maybe the strictly bedroom fetish CD but they are not out there every day living this life like some TS are. Who knows why we are getting all this attention suddenly.

    Stay with me, this is going somewhere...

    Here is the thing - not too long ago the hipster culture and it's small elements was an underground thing but somehow took off like wildfire. "Vintage" is now cool, mountain man looking beards are seen daily, and some cities (like where I live) even have smaller complexes where they gather. Advertisements feature them. So, their "anti-mainstream" lifestyle has become mainstream. Turn on the radio right now and the song "best day of my life" is likely playing...

    I am thinking though, if the media keeps pushing this TG thing, how soon until all the sudden it becomes "cool" for people to try to play the part? I remember about 15 years ago when I would go out dressed and often get ridiculed, laughed at, or hear rude comments. The worst that happens now is the occasional being called "he" or "sir". I am not shy about correcting them.
    But on the other side, once in a while someone seems to think it is cool to talk to the tranny. "I love people like you" or "I admire your courage" or I get to hear about their friend or brother who does this. It is rather annoying. Not long ago we had to fear for our safety etc but today we have people wanting to kiss our asses?

    So, how long until this becomes "cool" and the epidemic of wanna-be TG is a daily sight? I just hope it doesn't happen, that instead they leave the trannying to us real folks who had to suffer in order to live this life.
    BTW, the wanna-be TG I talk about is someone who would do it because "everyone else is".

    What do you all think?
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  2. #2
    Silver Member Starling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicole Erin View Post
    ...It is rather annoying. Not long ago we had to fear for our safety etc but today we have people wanting to kiss our asses?...
    In the long run, Sis, I'd rather be bugged than mugged.

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    Aspiring Member grace7777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicole Erin View Post

    So, how long until this becomes "cool" and the epidemic of wanna-be TG is a daily sight? I just hope it doesn't happen, that instead they leave the trannying to us real folks who had to suffer in order to live this life.
    BTW, the wanna-be TG I talk about is someone who would do it because "everyone else is".

    What do you all think?
    I am not sure I want it to go that far, but it would be preferable to what we faced 50 years ago. Right now things really are not to bad. It is rare now that somebody makes a negative comment directly to me. 5 years ago it seemed like I faced a lot more negative comments. Some of that is I think that I have improved in my appearance, and also these days I think I am more confident. Now San Diego is more tolerant than other areas of the country. Also when I go to Phoenix I have had very few problems too.

    My hope is that people show us respect and use the correct pronouns.

    I think there is still progress that needs to be made in the job sector, hopefully someday employment discrimination becomes very rare. At least in mid level jobs. I expect we will continue to face a glass ceiling.

    People can be annoying when they act like it is cool to talk to the tranny, but the flip side is much. I hope that we can reach a happy medium.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    So now the problem will be being liked too much instead of being hated so much? Actually, I know what you are saying here.... It is actually the big fear of conservative minded people that if we start to idolize the LGBT young impressionable minds are going to only become confused because they think its the cool thing to do or be. Only the conservative minded are getting confused though. Most men and women are perfectly comfortable being such, and have no desire to be any other way. Same goes for sexual attraction. It might be cool to have a gay friend (or a trans friend) but that isn't going to make a heterosexual go out and have same sex relations. It won't make cisgender people cross over.

    The one problem this actually may have with those who are real TG is that they want to just live life and not be stopped by people to acknowledge their being trans. Be friended on the basis of being trans.
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    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicole Erin View Post
    BTW, the wanna-be TG I talk about is someone who would do it because "everyone else is".

    What do you all think?
    I think that if you "want to be transgender", there's a darn good possibility that you actually are transgender. Cis people generally don't want that.

    If you're "doing it because your friends are" ... well ... crossdressing is a whole lot of fun. If participating in that CD funtime is the catalyst that prompts you to question your identity, re-evaluate your life, go see a therapist, sort our your feelings, then honestly decide that you are trans ... well ... yeah ... I'd say you were probanly trans all along. A lot of us have our stories about the moment the scales fell from our eyes so to speak. I don't see how that would be any different.

    I guess what I'm saying is that I don't believe culture can manufacture new trans people, no matter how "cool" it seems to be.
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  6. #6
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    I think it is great that we're being more accepted now and even that we can be thought of as "cool". But I don't think we'll ever be mainstream or even as a hipster.
    But I have gotten favorable comments which was kind of disappointing when I thought I was passing pretty well at the mall, LOL. Some said as she walked by me that I was beautiful and courageous. Nice comment but not what I wanted to hear. Pop my bubble, oh well
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  7. #7
    What is normal anyway? Rianna Humble's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Fakley View Post
    I think that if you "want to be transgender", there's a darn good possibility that you actually are transgender. Cis people generally don't want that.
    I would beg to differ. In my not so humble opinion, it is the TS person who generally does not want the turmoil caused by this birth defect. I do see far too many crossdressers who possibly in a moment of pink fog think "wouldn't it be cool to be TS". I can't speak for other transgender individuals since the topic has not come up in my discussions with them.
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    I tend to agree with Rianna.

    I actually have a number of concerns about "wannabe TGs", and I think we're already kinda in the midst of some of it but they're not generally the people or issues you're talking about.
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  9. #9
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Didn't we go through this phase in the 1980's and the androgenic/ gender bender/ hair-glam bands?
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  10. #10
    This Time Around Lauri K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Fakley View Post
    I don't believe culture can manufacture new trans people, no matter how "cool" it seems to be.
    I agree with Amy, there is way too much pain to go through all this if you can avoid it................... but hopefully with things getting better those that are suffering they can garner some relief much easier today than what is was like 5, 10, 15 , 25 years ago

    I understand the concern, but statistically speaking there is no data to support it will be the case

    The numbers are rising because people that have been in denial are just now surfacing................. the wave will crest and sometime in the near future (few years) we will have a more accurate count of the trans population

    While the concept of wannabees becoming a epidemic makes for a good read, there is no data globally speaking to support it that it will happen or is becoming a trend

    Which reminds me I have a 7 AM electro appt., yeah....... you don't do this stuff just to be cool
    Way too Girly ! I couldn't smell the smoke, and now I'll watch the flames

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  11. #11
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    This sort of fad happens and generally, since it is shallow, just dies of its own. Previous similar examples include the fad in the 1970's when gays started coming out, for straight males to wear high heels at parties, though I am not sure how much of that happened. Today, all you see is straight people joining pride parades but that at least, is a healthier expression of it than the wannabee phenomena. If you reach back far enough in history, there are stories of young women in Paris, dressing as males and putting on a big bandage on their heads, to appear like a wounded soldier back from the front, a sort of public role play or acting out.

    One notes that despite the high level of interest of the public in Caityn Jenner, and others, it seems limited to the week or so the magazine cover is on the magazine racks, (this time, on the cover of Sport Illustrated), and it seems, fewer copies end up sold than the publishers plan, and then the hype, just dies of its own for that trans coming out, or granting an interview, etc. .

    Second, the media focuses on the most shallow of these fad things, when they sniff out as something new that makes new, a commodity that they can sell. The media then picks up the shallowest parts of it and publicizes it as a lifestyle issue, since that is what most people understand. In general, most people of my generation, even educated people, never even noticed some of bigger things hat happened in their time. Why do 90% not get the message? Let's try a little quiz. Mr. Torvalds? Who? Stu Sutcliffe? Why could Mr. Allen afford the gigantic private jet that Mr. Trump bought from him used? Why is a smart phone just a computer with an extra feature built in, that of a cellphone? Why is a digital wrist watch not a computer? Why is the station changing knob gone on so many f.m. radios? (It did make it easier to put an f.m. radio in a smart phone, but that was an accidental benefit.) Why did the poorly educated folk, want to march in a parade with torches and pitchforks, up the hill to where Frankenstein lives? Who among them even today, even knows who Victor Frankenstein was? Why did they see him as the monster? Well, monsters make better news than science or scientists, I guess.

    The media also chooses to talk about the trivial and uncontroversial, like what people will buy and wear that is connected with the fad. When the media got started on the Beatnik movement, they did a story on t.v. of the youth, especially women, who became Beatniks, only for the weekend and just in appearance, while the real messages of the Beat movement were lost - good writing, sacrifice of one's earning power to write the great counter-cultural novel, and reject materialism, to discuss Nietzsche and Kierkegaard in walk-up coffee houses, aleatory poetry, made up on the spur of the moment, etc. All the important stuff got lost in the shuffle. How many today realize even why "Beatles" the name of the fab group is spelled that way, like a desire to be associated with the Beat Generation rebellion and liberation in music. Is there any hope we will be understood? Nope. We will just get misunderstood like all the rest of those things.!

    In the trans fad case, it means few more than a minority will want sex change surgery, though since it is a salable commodity, I am not sure if the media might not actually promote it!

    So few people understand what being trans really is, I can't see the 95% of the public who think it is about sex, not gender, will wise up to that, or much else about being trans in reality.. I would not make a prediction that we will be shortly understood, since it would be based on an assumption other than the saying, "Nobody ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the mass of the public."

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  12. #12
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    They have a term for this in elements of internet culture; they call it being "transtrender".

    It will never become an epidemic or anything, but there will always be folks out there on the fringe who are not well for whatever reason (or are outright disturbed) and are highly suggestible. No one who is well would ever want to choose to be a TS and deal with all the pain and suffering that goes along with it. Unfortunately, there will always be some tiny number of people out there who are not well off and may see it as some sort of trendy thing or advantageous in some way, maybe as some way to try to deal with other issues they have, or maybe as some way to score victim points or something. Maybe they are gender non-conforming as men, not able to live "successful male" lives and may somehow think life would be easier as a woman. This is absolutely crazy of course, but there is no shortage of crazy people in this day and age.
    Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 08-20-2016 at 02:12 AM.

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    I think each person's reaction to this new 'acceptance' will be impacted by many factors and to a large extent when they began transition. As someone that is in the beginning ( saw the HRT doc 1st time the other day / seeing a therapist/ doing electrolysis weekly, FFS consult) I am actually happy about the increase 'acceptance' and yes I keep using quotes on purpose. IMHO it is improving but nowhere near mainstream by a long shot. It will be easier for me than those that went before me, just as it will be for the next generation.

    I can understand why those that transitioned earlier may have concerns or even resentment. In my mind I would be thinking " where were you before?". And I do understand your points about it being a fad and wannabes that probably would have just stayed fetish CDs in the past. But overall I think greater acceptance is a good thing. Lives will be easier, employment will improve, coming out will be easier and most importantly we will be safer.

  14. #14
    Comedian Emma Beth's Avatar
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    While I don't think this will get out of proportion like some may fear. I feel that it is the responsibility of all of us that are out publicly to educate the masses about this.

    And when I say about this, I mean all of it. How this doesn't make life easier. How hard and difficult it really is. How it's not for everyone. And so on and so on.

    No holds barred about the full ugly truth of what it means to be Trans. All the ugly facts about what we face with transition. From the failed surgeries like facing the possibility of a recto vaginal fistula, to worrying about clotting issues from taking hormones like DVT. Even all the pain and discomfort from recovering from any and all of the surgeries.

    I also feel that as a result of doing this, a greater understanding will follow and society will begin to treat those of us going through this even better with the dignity and respect we deserve.

    Just my 2 cents and you can keep the change.
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  15. #15
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lorileah View Post
    Didn't we go through this phase in the 1980's and the androgenic/ gender bender/ hair-glam bands?
    Yeah. I thought it was only a matter of a couple of years before jean skirts would replace cargo pants.

    I would have to hold my breath and push real hard for a year to grow a lumberjack beard. And if I want a man bun, it would have to be a glue on. So, I'm just real happy being a pioneer envelope pusher into the new paradigm of gender expression before the hipsters screw it up. I mean, I'd hate to be out fully dressed and have someone say, "That's soo 2025!"
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicole Erin View Post
    snip . . . So, the media rolled out Miss Canada, Jazz Jennings and Caitlyn Jenner. Target decided to have this restroom policy. TG rights seems to be a big subject right now.

    I have no clue how this all got started. Let us be honest here - there just are not that many TS out there. Yeah there are the part time CD's and maybe the strictly bedroom fetish CD but they are not out there every day living this life like some TS are. Who knows why we are getting all this attention suddenly.
    Hi Erin,

    Interesting premise. To be honest, I see all this attention as a "blip". When it comes to Miss Canada, Jazz Jennings and Caitlyn Jenner, don't get me wrong, all good positive things for the community but it get's play time because it sells and media makes money on it. Once the zeal subsides . . . the stories dry up. When was the last time you saw a Caitlyn Jenner article in mainstream media print (i.e., not sandwiched between "Elvis's Alien Love Child Returns to Earth" and "Talking Dog Saves the Day"). Regarding negative coverage (e.g., bathroom bills, Target, etc.) well . . . just saying the Roman's were masters of "eye candy for the masses" (read - gladiatorial games) to take people's minds off the problems with the government. In a way, the negative trans coverage is being pushed by certain political wings IMHO as a way to deflect attention away form the true issues such as the economy, war, environment. Don't get me wrong, there is much hate wrapped up in it but it easy to fuel up the haters so coverage focuses on red herrings vice real issues.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicole Erin View Post
    snip . . . I am thinking though, if the media keeps pushing this TG thing, how soon until all the sudden it becomes "cool" for people to try to play the part? I remember about 15 years ago when I would go out dressed and often get ridiculed, laughed at, or hear rude comments. The worst that happens now is the occasional being called "he" or "sir". I am not shy about correcting them.
    But on the other side, once in a while someone seems to think it is cool to talk to the tranny. "I love people like you" or "I admire your courage" or I get to hear about their friend or brother who does this. It is rather annoying. Not long ago we had to fear for our safety etc but today we have people wanting to kiss our asses?

    So, how long until this becomes "cool" and the epidemic of wanna-be TG is a daily sight? I just hope it doesn't happen, that instead they leave the trannying to us real folks who had to suffer in order to live this life.
    BTW, the wanna-be TG I talk about is someone who would do it because "everyone else is".

    What do you all think?
    I really don't see being "trans" as being the "new cool". For a guy, trying out a fad be it 70s glam rock, 80's Miami vice pastel t-shirts and scruffy face or, current day mountain man beards is a slight stretch. However, dressing up as a woman and interacting with the world as such . . . unless they have a predilection to do so . . . I doubt it will happen.

    The other thing to take into account is that yes in the past there was a lot of negative comments from people and now . . some but not so much. Are people seeing us as cool, trendy and hip? Probably not. It is more likely they have so much going on their lives that they don't have time to waste worrying about who is dressed in what. Those who do provide positive comments and support . . . it is a good thing but I doubt those same people are going to give it a try. They are just being kind and showing a modicum of human decency which is sorely missing in this world.

    Cheers

    Marcelle
    Last edited by Marcelle; 08-20-2016 at 08:44 AM.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Starling's Avatar
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    We are in the paradigm shift phase of mainstream acceptance. When the earthquake is over, I hope to be taken for granted--to disappear into the noise. I want to be boring! But right now, I think it would be churlish of me to brush off smiles and supportive comments from regular folks, after so many years of hating myself, and worse. Of course, there will always be a core group of people who wish us in prison or dead, and they are our real problem, not the faddists.

    Lallie
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    I'm trying to wrap my brain around why someone would sacrifice their actual and whole identity for a faux one,................. all in the hopes of being cool or trendy. Is this really a thing?

  19. #19
    Silver Member Starling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jentay1367 View Post
    ...why [would] someone would sacrifice their actual and whole identity for a faux one...?
    The irony being that we do precisely that for years before admitting it to ourselves, albeit with a more powerful motive.

    Lallie
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  20. #20
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    I don't think it's trending but I do think acceptance is! They say 'we' represent .3% of the population, I'm pretty sure that's the tip of the iceberg and the Internet is slowly exposing more and more of that iceberg and the up and coming generations are seeing it. It's not necessarily cool to be LGBTQ but it IS cool to accept LGBTQ 😊

  21. #21
    Member barbara gordon's Avatar
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    I think every girl on this site should go out on the same day and we will see that its real .
    "Part time" or not -its a real thing to want to get dressed and not feel so terrible for doing so .

    Maybe if the ones who are terrified or ashamed , or um , maybe just a little nervous to go out and be seen would find comfort to know that there would be thousands of girls outside in the daylight on the someday .
    This would be like critical mass.

    Right now there are more and more girls who are leaving their deep dark secret closets and going out and being seen .
    I am so happy to be apart of that . I have been going out for more than 15 years, but only recently have I begun to feel safer to be out and about . In just the past few months I have met so many girls in person who are going out for the first time . This is our time .

    .

  22. #22
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    I applaud the increased visibility because I hope it will lead to a normalization and increased acceptance of gender diversity. I hope that, as people learn more about trans and gender diverse people, they'll learn that saying stupid and insensitive things is... stupid and insensitive. I don't think people are going to transition for 'kicks' and that any increase in gender-diverse or gender-variant presentation will presumably be to either more people coming out of the closet or to it simply becoming more acceptable to not adhere to strict rules about gender.

    EDIT: And if it encourages more TS people to come out and live their lives authentically, so much the better.
    Last edited by Mayo; 08-28-2016 at 10:44 AM.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Sarah-RT's Avatar
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    I don't think something like this would cause a fad or a trend. Technically if someone thought it was cool to be trans would they not get a form of dysphoria because they would no longer be the gender they are comfortable with.
    Second to that there are surprisingly a very large amount of TS people out there, I'm not sure if I can mention the website but on another very popular forum there is a sub forum for TG people with a crazy amount of TS members.
    As a lot of them talk about starring in adult films to afford transitioning and related medical costs one only needs to look up adult sites to see hundreds of actresses who are TS.

    I can agree with the idea that if noticeably trans or if it's been disclosed that becoming the equivalent of a gay best friend does take away with trying to live a normal life.

    The two cents to take from this is that the general public is being much more exposed to trans issues and hopefully will become more accepting
    I cant stand to fly, I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find the better part of me. I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face beside a train. Its not easy to be me.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV View Post
    Unfortunately, there will always be some tiny number of people out there who are not well off and may see it as some sort of trendy thing or advantageous in some way, maybe as some way to try to deal with other issues they have, or maybe as some way to score victim points or something. Maybe they are gender non-conforming as men, not able to live "successful male" lives and may somehow think life would be easier as a woman. This is absolutely crazy of course, but there is no shortage of crazy people in this day and age.
    GG most of you all know passing by.

    My husband I finally left last what Jan / Feb was this here ^^^ he used it as an excuse for EVERYTHING .. so he was the poor "woman" who needed help with EVERYTHING . Thereby placing me in both roles and he had no responsibilities at all - not even opening the door for the pizza man . I kept the household going so we weren't out in the street .
    He will NEVER EVER have surgery , solo sex was too important for him to dare do that but breasts , yes .
    Thankfully I do not have to deal with that anymore although it hasn't been easy .
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  25. #25
    Silver Member Starling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dutchess View Post
    ...he was the poor "woman" who needed help with EVERYTHING . Thereby placing me in both roles and he had no responsibilities at all...
    I'm sorry you had to endure that. I definitely hope lazy, selfish narcissism doesn't become a trend. I'm sure you'll find a better man, if you want to try again.

    Lallie
    Time for a change.

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