I agree with Traci- get rid of her as fast as you can and find someone else, cry, grieve but be GLAD you do not have to live a life of solitary non confinement.
Flo
I agree with Traci- get rid of her as fast as you can and find someone else, cry, grieve but be GLAD you do not have to live a life of solitary non confinement.
Flo
Break up with her,if she will never understand. Your not being selfish with your crossdressing, if anything your looking out for her by not telling her your picking to keep this inside you and hurt .Many times I purged thinking I will never dress again many times I lifted weights thinking this was the cure no more dressing but not the case.Many times I carried on an affair thinking ok this is the macho thing to do but yeah for awhile I felt manly but the cd was always inside me it is me it is my life and I learned to love me to think that dressing is not wrong it's my softer side my balance between my gender and my softer spirt my caring side .
Seems most people want you to dump her so you can dress up sometimes. You'll probably regret it if you do leave her for this, do you actually think you're just going to come across another girl sometime soon that you feel the same about who will accept or be into it? Is it such a defining factor in a relationship for you. I understand that it's part of who you are and everything, and that you enjoy it but come on. Relationships mean sacrifices and compromise.
I have done this both ways in relationships. IMHO NOT telling her is the worst mistake you can make. Why? Because she will find out sooner or later. When she does she may develop trust or honesty issues where you and the relationship. Better to come clean now and take the consequences than to wait and let the whole thing blow up in your face.
[SIZE=3]Stacye Rose[/SIZE]
[SIZE=2]Cleverly disguised as a normal contributing member of society[/SIZE]
I am not among those who will advise you to just dump her. In end it may be the thing you need to do, but I would do a lot of hard evaluation of what YOU most want in your life 1st. If it really comes down to CDing or her, then deep in your heart and soul, what is more painful to do without?
Not all of us on here need to dress. Some of us just like to, and find it a non toxic way to relief stress, tension.... On the other hand, for many on here there is a real need. Only you know of yourself which side of this spectrum you are in.
If you are on the side of feminine gender expression being a real need as this is part of your central core of you as a person. (I am not saying you have to be TS to be this) but enough so that femininity is a real part of you, then no matter how much you may want to do without it for your GF, it will eventually take you down. As time goes on you will be less and less of the partner you want to be for her anyway.
If that is the case, then you will need to tell her. Chances are it probably won't go well, at least initially. You can really only hope for the best at this point, but I wouldn't just dump her. Give it a shot. Your GF is among the majority of women and people in general who do not find anything good of CDing or transgender anything. Her reactions are quite typical actually. Now, some just have not good opinions and when they learn more about it, they soften their thoughts a bit. She may never be fond of it, or like it. A good possibility she will not want to see you dressed, or participate in any CDing with you. Unfortunately there are still plenty of those out there who want nothing to do with it period. Some on here can attest to losing their relationships and marriages due to CDing. Most though, unless you are TS and are looking to make this your life rather than a part of your life do survive this, in some form.
In december it will be 4 years since I have told my wife. Initially it went very poorly. She seriously considered divorce. I had a couple of choice names thrown at me. F-ing Freak being one of them........ She came from zero knowledge of it, and from an extremely conservative upbringing. We are still married. She still doesn't like it, but over the nearly 4 years, she is still becoming more accepting to it. About the speed of an hr hand in slow motion, but nonetheless, more accepting. I am not going to guarantee you that your GF will accept it, but I am saying that her feelings now, her reactions while the most typical, may indeed soften somewhat and you may be able to continue with your relationship.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
I was married for 26 years and never told my ex. I'd been dressing for many years before getting married and it was hard to tell her. The longer it went the harder it got to the point of impossible. In retrospect I wish I had shared it with her. It wasn't the reason for our split but at the end of the day she never found out because she loved and trusted me completely; and I dishonored her trust. I told the woman I am with now early in our 3 year relationship and it went much better than I feared. She helped me put things in perspective and realize it was a MUCH bigger monster in my head than in reality. I'm not saying this would be true for every relationship but it was for mine.
I highly recommend seeing a therapist. It doesn't have to be a gender specialist unless you are dealing with gender identity issues. It might help put things in perspective and help you make your decision. Good luck.
Hugs,
Katie
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