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Thread: feel a need to share

  1. #1
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    feel a need to share

    Do any of you gurls who are secret dressers ever wish you could share your crossdressing with someone.I am single live alone and the only one who knew about my second self was my ex and my dressing at that time wasn't nearly as involved as it is now.There was no makeup involved and was limited to the bedroom.Yesterday I was at my son's home for a gathering and my daughter- in- laws best friend was there.I've know her friend almost as long as I've known her.This friend is really into the makeup she looks terrific all the time.I wish I could get my eyes to look like hers,the eyes are the hardest part of my makeup,I wear glasses and its hard to do them when everything is blurry.I wish I could tell her about Karen and get her to do a makeover.I like to think she'd do it as a lark maybe with my daughter -in -laws help.I'm afraid of going to one of the malls for a pro makeover.I'd love to have someone to share this life with but I can't find any support groups in the Niagara Region and I don't want to go to Toronto.I'm having these thoughts about telling close family members ,I'm not getting any younger and maybe it's time.Don't know what to do.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Sometimes telling family backfires, and maybe just strangers is best. I am a seldom go outer, and travel to other towns where no one knows me. No support groups for this, here, either. I also wish i could share this part of me, but so far, only strangers who have seen me walking, and an occasional hi, only. It does get lonely having to keep it secret, like a secret agent.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 08-20-2016 at 08:49 PM.

  3. #3
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    I thought that was what this site is for.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I know what you mean!! This forum and the friends I have acquired here are my only support!! My daughter is accepting but does not want to see daddy in a dress!! Going for transformation but that is 3 hours away! No social groups I am aware of!! I want to come out to my son, but no support there either! Once out to my son, may come out to my sister-in-law Maybe support???? not really sure???? Best wishes and luck going forward Hugs Lana Mae

  5. #5
    Member MissVirginia-Mae's Avatar
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    My Ex-Girlfriends know but other than that, my parents or relatives dont.
    I suspect my parents may have an idea because they caught me twice growing up.
    Once in my mom's wedding dress and another when I had my mom's girdle, slip and hose under my dresser after dressing and I forgot to put it back.
    My sisters prob dont suspect and my grandmother, who is passed on, never did, although I raided her drawers for years.
    She had the best girdles, stockings, and slips.....
    I am transitioning and they will find out fairly soon tho.

  6. #6
    New Member Zafira Skye's Avatar
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    Do any of you gurls who are secret dressers ever wish you could share your crossdressing with someone.
    Hi Karen, as they say, no man, woman or transgendered person is an island. Most aspects of our lives has social contexts. In everything from our hobbies and pastimes, to the roles and responsibilities of our employment involve a social dynamic in which we share, with varying levels of openness, who and what we are. Crossdressing for me is such deep seated, relentless desire in my psyche and lifestyle, and like you, I have that wish to share my femininity with someone else. It’s natural that we want to share with others the central elements of our lives which excite, enthuse and stimulate us so much. I hope your journey takes you there. These forums are great, because in the wisdom and experiences shared by others, we too may be able to find a way to emerge from the shadows. Hugs from me to you

  7. #7
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    Hi Karen, Please see line #4 in my signature......
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  8. #8
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    There are some close people I really desire to tell, perhaps someday.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

    -Home Movies
    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
    Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
    Height: 5' 6".

  9. #9
    Junior Member jen_ross's Avatar
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    My wife and two therapists are the only ones that I have told. I don't really feel the need to tell anyone else. It would have to be a woman and I'm not that close to any women besides my wife.

  10. #10
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    I'm certainly in that boat. I so, so want to tell someone, but I don't really have anyone to confide in. I have no female friends, none that I'm on genuine speaking terms with, and the few male friends from high school I have I haven't seen in a while. If I were to choose, it would be those two friends, but I have no idea how they would react. As for my parents, I'm sure they'd be considerate and accepting [in strides] but I'm not willing to take that particular jump just yet.

    There are no real meetups or social gatherings for crossdressers or the like near me [he says as if he's actually searched for any], and this site is my primary outlet for conversing with others. I always see beautiful women on the road or in the supermarket with gorgeous clothes, hair, et cetera, and the jealousy hits like a sewing needle. It really hurts to want to say something and the only one you can speak to is the wind.

    Good luck.
    “No story has a beginning, and no story has an end. Beginnings and endings may be conceived to serve a purpose, to serve a momentary and transient intent, but they are, in their fundamental nature, arbitrary and exist solely as a convenient construct in the minds of man. Lives are messy, and when we set out to relate them, or parts of them, we cannot ever discern precise and objective moments when any given event began.”
    --Caitlin R. Kiernan

  11. #11
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    Karen,
    It may help to find a support group, the one I attend doesn't insist on dressing and no one minds, at least it's a first step to meet others, last Friday we had clothes for sale and a nice girl doing makeup, she would have given you some idea where to start.

    It is hard making those first steps even in drab, most of it is in your mind, most people really don't care, the SAs need your money and most are genuinely helpful, once you've done it a couple of times it gets easier and you do start to have fun with people. Please don't let age put you off, I stopped worrying about when I joined the forum and found members older than me who looked very good and were still enjoying their dressing . The point to remember is for most of us it's for life, it's not going away and like me some have said it gets stronger , it's a part of my life I've finally come to terms with and I'm going to try and enjoy it.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member ChristinaK's Avatar
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    Hi Karen,

    Many of us feel very alone even though we go out dressed. People feel very strongly about the issue, usually against us it seems. Be thoughtful about coming out to family.

    I recommend seeing a female counselor to start. It may not solve anything for you, but it would give you someone to talk to that cares. Just make sure she is a Trans counselor.

    Like others have said, this forum is extremely helpful too. I know that it has made my life SO much easier knowing there are others like myself and can draw on their experiences and wisdom to help me make choices and just for mutual support.

    Best wishes.

  13. #13
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
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    Hi Karen-
    The more I talk about it and indulge the more I understand it and feel crossdressing is harmless, justified, and one of those things that society needs to embrace. That said, it isn't going to happen anytime soon since gender norms are baked into so much of our culture. That said, we can find individuals who are fine with it, and an afternoon spent with someone who is your friend while you are dressed as you wish is a miracle drug that lasts a long time. Start looking around- try meetup.com searching gender, and et out among the people who understand gender fluidity- then let your desires show a little more each day. You'll feel the fear start to melt away, and it is a really huge relief.
    We are all beautiful...!

  14. #14
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I felt the need to share in my early days of going out - not so much anymore (wife knows, adult kids know, 5 friends)

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