No,I am not a "CD"..I am an out Trans serious and just don't understand how so many here "want things" but fear them at the same time. Scan some of the threads and you will understand what my observation is..Originally Posted by Ressie
No,I am not a "CD"..I am an out Trans serious and just don't understand how so many here "want things" but fear them at the same time. Scan some of the threads and you will understand what my observation is..
Meghan sounds like you have a great relationship with mutual respect I think that is wonderful.
Even though this is a crossdressing forum, it's important to understand that we don't all live the same lives. Some of us are young, some are old. Some are married, some are single. Some are lawyers or doctors and some do manual labor. Some are retired. Most importantly, some are out to the public and some keep our dressing inside or even try to hide it from our wives.
One thing I see on lots of posts is the idea that it's your body and you should be able to do whatever you want with it. It seems pretty certain that these posts come from people who have never been married or are no longer married. They don't understand that marriage is a partnership and what we do affects our partners. The wise husband discuss something like getting his ears pierced with his wife and not do it if it's going to upset her. Most wives wouldn't get a tattoo without asking their husbands. That's how marriages work.
It seems pretty insulting for someone to post that they are tired of hearing excuses why someone doesn't do something. Again, we are all in different situations and what seems like a no-brainer to one of us could create serious issues for another. One of the good things about web forums is that you can just bypass posts or threads that you don't want to read. If someone posts a reason why they don't get their ears pierced, that's their decision and they have a right to make that decision. Perhaps they will change their mind in the future, perhaps they won't.
I will say that I had mine pierced at a late age (after I retired) and it was a minor issue for some of my friends, but it was well worth it for me. I love the feeling of dangling earrings against my neck and they just slip into the holes. No clips, tape or magnets. If you can do it, I recommend it. If you cannot, I understand and respect your decision.
I tried to look up out trans serious but couldn't find anything. I'm guessing this means genus trans / family out / order serious, also known as having a lack of empathy for other's situations and forgetting where they came from.
The reason I find the entire premise of this thread to be so condescending is because yes, I covet pierced ears but I am unwilling to go down that path. A callous few may have the opinion that it is because I lack the intestinal fortitude to just own it when it comes to what I do with my body (still wondering how ear piercing is not a body modification). The reality is that I have to consider the big picture which includes the opinion of my wife along with the potential effect on my ability to earn a living for my family. On the former, I have never even approached her on it. For all I know she'd be totally cool with it (doubtful). But yes, the love of my life, my partner for over 20 years, the mother of my children and the light who does so much in the name of family deserves the respect in being able to offer her opinion on these sort of things.
However, what is of greater importance is that my career in a rather conservative business field makes this concept a non-starter. I've already taken quite a long swim in that pond when I grew my hair out about 16" down my back and in hindsight, it was not a very intelligent "statement" to make on my part. 40-something year old guys in the business world just raise too many eyebrows by going down that road. Piercing both ears including running around with starters for weeks or months is exactly the same. I therefore choose not to go there.
I will not begrudge those who do so. In fact, I'll harbor my share of controlled envy. As has been said, we are all in different situations. There is no one-size-fits-all to who we are, how we express ourselves and where we choose to do so.
If when I retire I choose to get my ears pierced and wonder what took so long, I hope that I can summon up a degree of empathy and remember where I came from.
Last edited by Sara Jessica; 08-23-2016 at 09:07 AM.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Actually they are. In the same way tattoos are a body modification. You are modifying your body to suit the way you like to look.
With that said. I had 5 holes at one point.......long before I started dressing. Straight men get earrings every day.
I agree here. When my wife found out about my crossdressing, she became uncomfortable seeing me in men's nightshirts. I had numerous nightshirts, either the long T-Shirt variety or the variety with buttons and collars. These were red or blue plaid, or solid burgundy or blue. I had worn night shirts for decades. Nonetheless, my wife made me get pajamas.
In this case, discretion was the better part of valor. I could lose this fight, if I could win bigger ones, like going out and going to conferences. That's why the only shaving I do is my beard area, (and my chest if I think I can get away with it). No shaving of arms, legs, hands, or feminizing my eye brows. It's a compromise that I make to keep the peace.
I do, however, grow my nails out when I'm going to a conference, and deal with the grief I get from my wife.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
I dunno, for me having multi pierced ears is a "thing", for someone else it may not be.
I don't understand what the big deal is about pierced ears, lots of men have pierced ears and are not CD' s. I don't see the connection. I am 53 and have had my both ears pierced since I was 22, I have 2 holes in each ear. I worked 20 years in a very male dominated job, I wore 4 gold hoops in my ears in a chemical plant and no one said boo about it, lots of guys I worked with wore earrings. At the time I was only underdressing.
I like to have the freedom to make my own choices, which means I have to extend others the freedom to make their own choices. It's the Social Contract.
I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.
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