... in the minds of some GG's?
By that I mean those two things being pastimes and/or addictions of a type practiced by both groups of men, and ones that GG's find particularly distressing and hard to accept because they see them as undermining their inherent femininity, sense of self-worth, and ultimately - attractiveness in the eyes of their partners?
This thought occurs to me every time I read a column by an alleged sex and relationship "expert", and where from time to time a GG will write in complaining about her husband or SO's fondness for watching porn, and how she feels devalued and demeaned by this because she sees it as a sign that she is not attractive, sexy, or adventurous enough in the bedroom to satisfy all of his needs and desires. And invariably, the answer from the columnist is not to take this type of porn addiction too personally since men being the visual creatures that they are, this is a common "guy" thing. They then usually add that as long as the woman's partner is still attentive to her needs, puts her first, and shows no signs of straying or otherwise acting out his fantasies with someone else, she should just lighten up and not make too big a deal out of this, lest the resulting conflict does irreparable damage to their relationship and potentially puts it into jeopardy.
Hmmm...doesn't this sound suspiciously like the type of scenario that we CDers with less-than-accepting wives and SO's have to contend with on a daily basis, and where the conventional wisdom is that we need to double down on being the "manly" men that they thought they had married way back when - always putting them first, just to reassure them that our feminine sides pose no threat to them? That we accommodate them by "managing" our crossdressing needs in such a way that they will be kept "out of sight, out of mind" (so to speak) if need be? That we continue to maintain the façade to the outside world that ours is a completely "normal" marriage or relationship so as not to cause them any undue stress or embarrassment in front of family and friends?
I have yet to see an advice columnist address the issue of crossdressing within an otherwise heterosexual relationship in those terms and applying the same rationale to defend it as pertains to porn addictions, although I personally see a distinct equivalency between the two potential marital stressors. More to the point, does the world really see porn addictions through a more benign lens simply because they are more common and therefore somehow more "acceptable"?
Thoughts, anyone?