This is the reason so many, including myself, remain in the closet with the CDing. While the assumption that we are gay is completely wrong, you are absolutely correct that MOST people think that way! And therein lies the problem. And I don't see it changing during my lifetime, because MOST people have no interest in looking into it and enlightening themselves.Why do most people think because someone crossdresses they are automatically gay?
Last edited by MelanieAnne; 10-18-2016 at 08:26 PM.
Personally I think there are a lot of reasons why people might assume a crossdresser is gay, but these are the two that pop into my head.
The first one is the sexualisation of femininity, a good example of this is if you see a man wearing boxers or regular underwear in catalogue or moving, it's a lot less focused on and sensationalised than when there is a woman in lingerie with frills or lace, this also plays into how the female body is generally more sexualised. For instance anybody with breasts in western cultures is expected to cover their nipples, and in general at the bare minimum wear more clothing than your average male bodies individual, so of course since articles of clothing that most women wear are feminine and women are sexualised you end up with the things being associated with them being sexualised.
And the second point, which kind of ties in with my first point is that people, assuming that the crossdresser is crossdressing for sexual reasons, and that the person is crosdressing femininely, that they were doing so to attract someone who is sexually attracted to something feminine (a straight man), of course i'm generalising but I imagine that's the general rationale that most people have behind such a belief.
"they want to become women so they can have sex with men" because they only point of being a woman is to have sex with man. <sarcasm>
and of course visa vesa.
personally though I think whether an individual who is a lesbian whould be more likely attracted to a feminine/androgynous/crossdressing man would depend on how they define there sexuality.
The point is that most people have no incentive to look into what we do and learn something about it. Which is why we are always going to be perceived as gay by a substantial number of people. Crossdressing is not a subject for discussion in schools or colleges. So no one, except maybe people with a CD family member are going to come in contact with a CDer, or have any incentive to look into it. That is why I feel it will never be widely accepted in my lifetime.
I only know one gay man who dresses feminine publicly. He is married into my family. I mistakenly assumed the same, that if he did and I did, then people would think the same of me. It took me a lot of soul searching to realize one person's expression does not equal my own.
I'm gay, but my crossdressing has nothing to do with it. And vice versa. I was crossdressing before I even knew what it meant to fall in love or be attracted to someone.
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