Crossdressing Dreams.

[Jennifer B]

I have a lot of dreams. I don’t know weather it’s my sleeping environment or something else, but I dream (meaning I remember my dreams) almost every night.
Recently and increasingly I’ve been dreaming about my crossdressing, but in a manner that is beyond what I’ve partaken in to date.

These dreams tend to focus around my being in public and fully en-femme. I’m usually in a shop or at a social function and I am completely relaxed, and then at some point during the dream I will realise that I am en-femme and panic will ensue. It might just be jeans, wedge heels and a top and cardigan, with handbag and hair in a bun, which is the way that I’d actually like to be if I was to ever go out en-femme. Sometimes it’s a discreet skirt or demure dress. But my reaction is always the same. I fear being en-femme in my dreams. The reality that people can see that part of me is suffocating. I feel humiliation and embarrassment. I want to hide from the people who can see me who moments earlier, before I realised that I was en-femme, had no quarrel with me.

And yet at the same time the realisation of what is happening at that moment is something of a huge release. There is a brief moment after I realise that I’m en-femme and before I realise that I’m being observed by my peers that I feel completely at peace and it lasts for a fraction until I see the eyes of others judging me. It’s a tremulous release of hidden emotion and long repressed desire. It’s intoxicating whilst being fearful and emotionally crippling. It makes me a mess and I’m glad to wake up from it. Then when I am awake I find myself timorously wishing to re-experience the moments of freedom when I realise my situation before realising that I’m being observed.

Clearly my brain is trying to work something out. I wish to god it would figure it out soon. I’m sure many of us share cross dressing dreams and I’d love to hear what other peoples dreams are like and ideas as to what’s going on here, because I’m as confused as hell.

[EffyJaspers]

I often look up dream meanings for various pieces of dreams I remember. Following the psychology approaches to dreaming Sigmund Freud studied dream analysis seeing that our dreams were how we as people tap into our unconscious mind, our deep down thoughts and desires. I've always seen it as our mind performing maintenance on daily issues as well as long term issues, it sifts through the information we thought of as relevant and cross checks it with past information and puts forth a dream for us to understand it. These dreams are naturally different from time to time, but as I've read up somewhat on dreaming.... it's cool. You should read up on it for yourself, [[[[[TOOK OUT link so I could post this after I learned I can't post links]]]]], but generally you remember vivid parts of the dream, simply use google "dream meaning fear" and try 1-3 links (depending on how useful the first one was you don't generally need to try more) and you read what it is supposed to mean and then apply how its related. You mentioned crossdressing, shopping/social function, panic, fear (humiliation embarrassment but they are leading the same way so eh to looking them up unless they were a really strong pull on something specific), release (- i thought that one was cool. With googling release it immediately had prison/cell and it means they gained some type of freedom which you could tie this thought process to crossdressing at a public place or event as compared to be trapped only in your house, or so). ...... The overall effect is what is running through your brain with these dreams and how you can connect the dots together with your everyday life and these symbols in your dream.

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While I was still in school and looking for a better job and worrying about passing all my classes I had a few zombie & dungeon/castle dreams which I saw as true that I really didn't feel like my life was moving on or up which is what I imagined should be happening when I got a degree. The college was also messing with me and making it take longer for me to get the degree because of stupid technicalities in their system, but I have the degree now a foot in front of me. Zombies - feel dead, just going through the motions of life, dungeon - foretells my struggles and how I will succeed and make it if I do it right (and there are obviously many exits in this dungeon and people I met through it and broken boxes and hidden passages and cool stuff to look up in your dream if you remember it).
I'd say your brain pieced it together a while ago and your unconsciousness is stuck on the same thing everyday for a reason, and whether you overcome it a little or move onto something else that will be pressing the back of your thoughts will only then change your dreaming, or possibility of dreaming.
I love dreams, but I like my lucid fantasies too which is you having a dream but as you become more conscious you can steer the dream a bit better. Liz Lemon runs a VS store in a black bra and panties with pink pantyhose and I became a new assistant was one of them!

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Jennifer,
Do you often think about, or wonder, what it would be like
to CD in public view?
And if you do, and haven't experienced that yet, could it be because
you're afraid of the possible humiliation?
If so...your dreams are just reconfirming your conscious fears of humiliation.

I can only see one way to calm those fears, but you'll have to open that door!
(It's really not all that scary, and that intoxicating feeling? Yeah! It's real!)
Much Love,
Kristyn

[DAVIDA]

[[[[[TOOK OUT link so I could post this after I learned I can't post links]]]]]

Where did you see this?
You can't post links in signatures anymore, but they are still allowed in posts. Just stay within the limits.

[Ellie Summer]

Mine are a mixture of good and bad. I had a partiularly vivid one recently where my family found out, and they all disowned me, acting like I was a huge embarrassment. Sometimes I have dreams where I see other CDers randomly in public, and we give each other a wave like we're in some kind of secret society.

[CarlaWestin]

Fortunately and unfortunately, I dream in full 4K-HD and 7.1 surround sound. And many of my dreams involved being fully dressed in my usual daily activities. It often involves being able to fly but, sometime my dreams are scary.

[Krisi]

As far as I can remember, any dreams I have had about crossdressing have involve me being somewhere or doing something where I shouldn't be dressed and I'm trying to get my breast forms off y chest and hide them somewhere.

It's a shame there's no way to program dreams so we can dream good dreams about whatever subject we choose.

[Teresa]

Jennifer,
Whenever the dream question comes up, my mind flashes back to the long term ones I had when I was 8-10 years old.

They were so closely linked to how my CDing started, I don't know if my actions were the result of my dreams or my dreams were an extension of reality . When I explained it all to my gender counsellor she deduced that I had a male / female conflict and the female side was trying to take control. As a boy of that age the contents were very explicit considering I had little knowledge of sex , masturbation and doubts of gender. The external influences just weren't around then especially in my local environment .

I'm not sure if my brain was trying to work something out or to totally confuse me for most of my life, looking back it's possibly when my GD became apparent and certainly when I became bi-gender. When some members say they don't wish to know how it all started, well I for one wanted to know what the hell was going on !

As for your dreams , you do have a clear picture of how you wish to present yourself, I wonder if it's based on someone you knew, and if it was did you have some sort of crush on her and did she reject you for it. I would say you desperately wish to present like that but would hate to be rejected for it , hence your inner conflict.
Maybe the thing to do is dress like your dream and perhaps go out in careful stages, starting with a drive. The inevitable will happen , you may conquer those feeling only for the need or dream to change, eventually you do find a balance.

[Jennifer B]

@EffyJaspers. I'll have a good look on Google, thanks for the advice. One weird thing sometimes when I lay on my arm I lucid dream and can control the dream so I usually end up flying around everywhere.

@Hell on Heels. Yes it's a long term ambition to be out en-femme. My main problem though is that the area of the country I live in is not very progressive or liberal and if I came across the wrong people when out, I'd run the very real risk of taking a good beating. I also lack the confidence required at the moment. I agree with everything you say though, there really is only one way to overcome that isn't there.

@CarlaWestin. I love the idea of hi-def dreams.

@Teresa. I don't think how I want to present is based on any one person. More a case of my ideal has always been to be as natural as possible and a more casual look has always appealed to me and seems to fit that requirement. It's an interesting idea. My last girlfriend bought me lots of knickers but kind of went tone deaf whenever I tried to broach the subject of just how far my cross dressing really went.

[docrobbysherry]

Some people who can't pass aren't comfortable out in vanilla land, Jenn. I'm one of those. I don't need dreams to know I feel fear, stress, and nervousness when out alone amongst the muggles!
And, I think I always will.

Those that get over this do it by keep going out until they simply don't give a crap that people make them! They learn how to reply positively to every comment. No matter how derisive.

[mechamoose]

I spent half the night last night trying to figure out how I was going to win a CD beauty contest by cheating, then somehow I figured out the slips would all be in my handwriting. BUSTED!

K/M

[EffyJaspers]

Where did you see this?
You can't post links in signatures anymore, but they are still allowed in posts. Just stay within the limits.

It would not let me post my original comment with the link in there.... kept giving me a warning at the top of the page in yellow. Now, whereas it kept posting that warning it still wouldn't let me post even when I took it out and reloaded the page, so I also had to cut my comment in two. That might have also been the problem, or part of the problem, which is why I have an 'update' part which was really just me posting the second part of my comment after i posted the first part.

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You claim that with running into the wrong people you'd be in for a beating, .... (not going with my original thought because you know better than I) why not carry mace in your purse? Women's self defense! Mace, taser/stung gun, sharp pointy heels (though you won't always be wearing pointy heels), martial arts, and the last one I read is rubber bullets (if your state allows concealed carry or open carry). You aren't required to be Hercules for any of these to work, and from website and a friend that has practiced it I heard Krav Maga is amazing (and of course with martial arts it's not about muscles but about reaction time and speed) or any martial art for that matter, though some are tailored self defense instead of offense.
It's obvious no one wants to get into a situation where injury is a likelihood for either side, but it would advocate that just because we're CDs doesn't mean we can't fight with the best of them. I am in no way, as of this last sentence, advocating you to entice a fight while en femme or arm for possible future conflicts; I just think it would be cool to see the Headlines, "Crossdresser Beats Attackers, Disproves false Crossdresser Stereotypes". It's your life, stay safe.

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OH, DAVIDA here it is. Sat at the top of the page after I posted something.

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[Krisi]

......... My main problem though is that the area of the country I live in is not very progressive or liberal and if I came across the wrong people when out, I'd run the very real risk of taking a good beating..............

I don't think there's any part of the country where beating people at random is legal or even accepted.

I doubt you would get beat up at the library, at the mall or walking on a downtown street in the daytime. Skulking around back alleys at night, perhaps, but then a woman would know that's not a safe place to be.

Just like women, we have to use some common sense when we go out. In any part of the country, there are safe places and not-safe places.

Edit: After reading the post above this one, let me say this: If you are thinking of going someplace and even considering that you may need martial arts skills or weapons to go there or feel safe there, that is a place you should not go.

[Rhian]

I had an interesting dream last night, it wasn't cross dressing as such but still relevant. I had a dream last night and I was simply walking down the street in a denim skirt and a red vest top. What was strange is that I was a GG and for some reason I wasn't aware that I really wasn't and it felt very natural. Strange.

[Jennifer B]

@docrobbysherry. Yes that makes sense to me. Trepidation is how I feel thinking about it lol! Glad that you've found a way to manage that though.

@EffyJaspers. I'm in the UK so guns and knives are strictly out of the question. I wouldn't want to carry them anyway although pepper spray would be an option. I would never go anywhere that I feel I would need to fight to defend myself, I'm afraid that I have the reaction speeds of a small Oil Tanker, which limits my options and there is also the whole lack of confidence thing. I will get there one day but I will have to face up to my fears to do so.

@Krisi. Sadly there are still plenty of places in this country where the legality or acceptability of something isn't a guarantee of safety. I happen to live in one of these places, and to think that I did so for the quality of life. Lol! The people I'm thinking about beat up a gay guy in broad daylight in the high street. Two of them did time in prison and have now been released. The victim did 4 months in hospital. Not something I'm going to risk. They are not the only ones. I know enough people locally that are not ashamed to express there racism, sexism, homophobia and sadistic violent tendencies with pride. When you live in a small town everyone knows your business before you do. So when word gets out of something that is not acceptable to the Neanderthals, then you become a target. I'm not going to risk that. So I'd have to find somewhere away from here that I know well enough to feel confident in.

@Rhian. Sounds like a great dream to me!

[Alice_2014_B]

Years ago I had dreams, common to many, such as going to catch the bus after school and I'm wearing nothing but my underwear and socks (probably shoes).
Nowadays such dreams consist of me walking around a crowded place, such as a mall or park, in drab and very noticeable high heels (something I'd never do in reality).
So in the dreams I'm sometimes walking with the wife. Either way, I'm feeling very uncomfortable and nervous.
On a brighter note, however, it seems like I've had such dreams where I felt good upon waking, but couldn't recall exactly what the dream was about. But I knew it had something to do with me being dressed up and pretty.