I don't remember the year but it was in the last 5 years when I wrote a song called Dress Me Like A Girl. There's something about writing poetry and/or music about something in my life that makes me realize this is part of who I am. I've been dressing up and getting out in public to some degree or another since I got my driver's license in 1983. (Sometimes that meant just wearing my regular clothes with a skirt and panties)
When I get out I go as the traditional guy dressed as a cheerleader but I also fantasize about being some kind of dancer on stage at an arts festival. I don't try to fool anyone and I don't always wear a bra. The major differences is that I go all the way with the girl clothes by only wearing panties under my skirt and I also shave my arms and legs. I guess that makes me a guy dressing as a girl going out in her old cheerleader uniform only wearing a panty because she can't find her trunks. I always loved it when girls did that on Halloween and accidentally gave everyone a peek.
It all started by the time I was 6, maybe 5. I remember reading my mom's Cosmopolitan magazines and seeing women provocatively flashing their panties. I knew there was something naughty, inappropriate, embarrassing, etc... or just wrong about doing that to men and the general public and wanted to experience it for myself. I remember the first time I got one of my mom's panties and wore it under my house robe. I sat on a short object to make her panty visible and imagined people walking by and seeing it.
This is just the tip of the iceberg for me as far as experiences and motivation. I'm not even sure what I do or how I approach it qualifies me for the title of crossdresser but I realize to stop would be going against what I feel compelled to do.
Marcy