Going back to see my Pyschology

[kristyk]

I'm seeing my psychologist on Friday 9/9, I'm a MTF on HRT for well over 10 years now. Both my psychologist and endocrine doctor think and believe in me taking them. They both encourage me to think about taking the next step which for them is for me to have a bilateral orchiectomy. Ten years ago I had many male friends, but as I progressed in taking higher and higher doses of estrogen, spironolactone and progestin I lost all but a few male friends. I picked up many more female friends and have not be a male at heart for years. I know I should be moving faster I've become comfortable in my two person skin. I've read that HRT can effect the male brain I'm not 100% convinced that's whats happened but I know Kristy has taken over and my male side and I don't want to go back. However the cross road is to move forward lose the male persona all together and schedule coming out. I'M SCARED TO DEATH, AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE WAY TO STOP A RUNAWAY TRAIN. My stomach has ached, I've been getting headaches, I've come very close to getting sick to my stomach, I'm not sleeping, my mood swings are off the chart. My real issue is I don't think my psychologist can relieve the pain I feel or the rush of happiness followed by the rush of sadness. Let me add I'm 54 years old started HRT over 10 years ago, when I was early 40's.
I'm not sure why I'm posting today other than I just needed to write it down.

Hope you all have a great day
KristyK

[Heidi Stevens]

Good luck, Kristy, on Friday. Be open and honest with the psychologist and move on when you're ready. Nothing written in stone saying you have to move on now.

[Brooklyn]

Wow, ten years is a really long time to be on HRT without transition. Maybe you should come clean with everyone in your life and then take care of the surgical stuff? An orchi will also allow you to drop any blockers you are on.

[Georgette_USA]

An orchi will also allow you to drop any blockers you are on.

I know at least two that have done that. Both not sure if or when to have the bottom. Even having some FFS first.

[Jmichelle60]

Good luck Kristi!

[kristyk]

Dr. Reid was very helpful and understanding, shes not pushing me to go forward. However she said it appears your ready to move forward you just need a push. I don't like crying but the hormones make tears fly watching a nature show anymore. I busted out out in tears and after a short cry we tried to figure out what to do with this mess. Not a lot to report back on other than Dr. Reid suggested I put some thought into my transition and maybe it is or isn't the wright thing to do. The Ochi would cut abck on meds but if I'm having vagaaplasti then I may want to talk to the surgeon and see if thats best.

Still nervous but I seem to be settled down a little