Wow you look amazing
Wow you look amazing
Agreed. So many different possibilities which totally run the gamut. I think it's safe to say that I've experienced probably all of them, LOL.Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
And after a while, you can start sensing a pretty good idea of where you might have landed along the spectrum for any given circumstance. Not always, obviously, but often enough, with a fair degree of certainty.
You nailed it. I had dozens of public outings with no trouble. I was also a part of another online community where I would post my pictures and receive nothing but positive feedback such as "You pass 100%" so it all got to my head, especially as I continued to improve and buy better fitting clothes and higher quality wigs/makeup. After my bad outing I still clung to the false hope that I could pass, as long as I did my makeup right, shaved close enough, used the right manneurisms and posture and body language and wore proper fitting clothes.
Clinging to that false hope made me think too much, try too hard, and worry too much which led to ultimately giving up and purging. The right course of action would have been to accept the fact I don't pass and there is nothing I can do to change that fact, which would have shifted my mindset from trying to hard to a carefree mindset of, "so what?"
It also highlights the dangers of online communities. If they are too supportive and hugboxy(i.e. complimenting someone they pass when they don't), it can be counter-productive.
I think this is an important point which seems to come up here a lot. I know that we're all trying to get better at this, and that means trying to look more natural, but the truth is that very few of us could go completely unnoticed. If we focus so hard on trying to be passable, it can become frustrating because it can seem impossibly attainable. The closeness of our shave, too much makeup or not enough, the way our wigs fit, it's a lot of pressure if we're trying to think of passing as the ultimate goal. I really admire those who are able to go out knowing that this is the case, and owning it to high heaven. Confidence is a powerful tool that keeps arseholes at bay. I'm talking about the kind of people who prey on those who are vulnerable in their own skin (or bra). Seeing a couple of CDers at a bar laughing it up like nobody's watching is a lot less likely to attract hassle from negative Nancys than someone who is keeping their head down, looking ashamed of themselves. Jennifer's right, throw it right back in their faces and they'll have no response. "Yep, I'm wearing a dress, what's your point?" They want you to be afraid, because it's more fun for them. Stay positive!!
Ahhh I wish there was a "like" button because I love this post!
That is exactly what led to my downfall. I tried too hard to be "passable" as if that were the ultimate goal.
Instead of worrying about "passing", just be the best lady you can be and then own it 100%.
Its been 18 months since I last dressed and purged. I've had a lot of time to think. Once I have the money(getting back into crossdressing is not cheap!) I'll jump back in. But this time I will go in with a completely different mindset. I won't care about passing. I'll just worry about being the best lady I can be, and seek the approval of myself and no one else.
When I look back at my pictures and think of my good memories of crossdressing, it was never about the validation. It was about having a good time wearing cute outfits, shopping at the mall, trying on clothes, trying new makeup, learning new techniques, and having a good time. I had so many great memories.
Last edited by Lorileah; 09-17-2016 at 10:44 PM. Reason: no need to quote post above yours
Thank you all, for your kind words once again.
I also deeply appreciate both the cautionary words, as well as the cautionary tale. I think I would have avoided any store with a crowd of young men out front entirely, but that's just me.
I'm going out again next weekend and will remember to keep my expectations for myself reasonable. I will be cosplaying at at a comic expo though so it's a pretty safe harassment free environment and also very LGTB friendly. I intend to have a blast!
Dani
"I will be cosplaying at a comic expo..."
I've always wanted to do this!
It really looks like a lot of fun.
And we expect a full report of your adventure!
P.S. Don't some refer to it as "crossplay"? Assuming that's what you'll be doing, anyway.
Crossplay (the term is a portmanteau of crossdressing and cosplay) is a type of cosplay in which the person dresses up as a character of a different gender. Crossplay's origins lie in the anime convention circuit, though, like cosplay, it has not remained exclusive to the genre.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Amazing glasses Dani!
Glad you had a great time out!
Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."
-Home Movies
(cartoon series)
Shoe size: 9 US women's.
Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
Height: 5' 6".
I love this thread as well. My confidence grew when I gave up trying to "pass" as a woman, but rather try to reflect that femininity within myself through dressing.
I'm not wearing women's clothes, I am wearing MY clothes!
Warmly,
Sheren Kelly
Wow Dani, great story!! Thank you SOOOOO much for sharing and pointing me to this thread.
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