Is wearing high heels crossdressing?

[Pumped]

Is wearing high heels, or for that matter, shoes styled and sold generally to woman, crossdressing?

I was having a conversation with someone that was convinced it is not. The person is obviously male, wears women's shoes and also admits to wearing panties and pantyhose, but he is convinced he is not crossdressing. I told him he is, in the true definition of the term. I thought he was going to punch me for a second!

Another hang up is he stated he was not a crossdresser because he is not gay! After I had a good laugh I told him that crossdressing has nothing with being gay, but he would not accept that. He figures crossdressing and gay go hand in hand. I tried to explain to him that most crossdressers are hetrosexual, but he was not buying it!

[Lori Kurtz]

Amazing that any guy wearing high heels would deny being a crossdresser. But yes, he's a member of our sorority.

[I Am Paula]

Opinions by paragraph-
Yes.
Denial.
A special kind of stupid.

[ellbee]

Opinions by paragraph-
Yes.
Denial.
A special kind of stupid.

Perhaps "denial" could fit that last paragraph, too.


Anyway, of course it's CD'ing.

Some try to deflect it by calling it something else, as it makes it easier for them accept that part of themselves. Whatever gets you through the night?

[Lana Mae]

Obviously confused. Obviously part of the family but what branch?? I would get political but I know we can not. I wear panties and high heels and yes I, I ,I am a crossdresser and I think it is wonderful that I found out what I am!!! Hugs Lana Mae

[sometimes_miss]

Let's see; wearing attire that is designed to be worn by females. So, yes. Wearing shoes designed for females is crossdressing. Telling yourself it isn't, is living in a fantasy world.

[CONSUELO]

A long time ago I was visiting a friend who was a cross dresser. I was dressed in lingerie and he pointed out, quite correctly, that I was a transvestite. I denied it and said it was just a fetish. So much for being "young, ignorant and clueless". When you are in denial you cannot easily be persuaded otherwise.

[Pat]

What's the purpose of the term crossdresser here? It could be so he can describe himself or it could be so you could describe him. When describing himself he does not want to use the term crossdresser. I think we have to give him that right if we want others to accept our own self-evaluations. On the other hand if you're using the term to describe him (to someone else, clearly it would be disrespectful to use the term when speaking to him) then he doesn't get to choose your words.

This seems like a power game to me. The point seems to be to decide who gets to define whom.

[Pumped]

Jennie, I really could care less what he wants to call himself. I just thought it was funny when I clearly saw it as crossdressing, as many do here too. I think he is in denial, certainly when he connects dressing with being gay. I guess he thinks it is ok to wear woman's clothing, just don't be gay while you are doing it! ;-)

[Ellie Summer]

Hm. Not if he's a persian soldier from the 16th century. They were originally invented for horseback riders so their feet wouldn't slip out of the stirrups. It wasn't until decades later that women began using them during a time when it became trendy for women to cut their hair shorter, and take on other masculine traits including wearing high heels. Funny world we live in..

[Teresa]

Pumped,
Your friend has a great deal to come to terms with, so he wears heels and underdresses so that's the part that must be gay but never mind you can't see it !!

I'm not sure where he's getting his information from but have you directed him to this forum ? I wonder what he's going to make of all the other labels we use.

As others have said he's in denial in a big way .

[NicoleScott]

She finds some high heels, and asks "are these yours?"
"Yes"
"You're a crossdresser?"
"Oh, no. Those are shoes, not clothes"
"Whew, had me worried for a minute"

The same question (is it CDing?) can be asked about wigs, makeup, nail polish, etc...
To me, the answer in the motive. Not everyone who wears nail polish is a CDer, but for some, it's part of their CDing expression. Not so sure that argument holds for makeup or high heels, though.

[DIANEF]

Think he needs a reality check.

[Alice_2014_B]

Sounds like a grade A doofus.
Thanks for sharing.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Pumped, Some peoples just don't need labels......

[RADER]

I once ran across this rather tall man, and he was dry-wall taping.
Now this man was 7'2" tall, could not play Basket Ball because of an
injury. So he taped drywall, and would wear woman's 5" Heals so he
could reach the ceiling better.
He would not wear the normal stilts because it would put him to close
to the ceiling; so he wore Woman's High Heals.
Honest.
Rader

[Krisi]

I was going to suggest that you invite this person to join (or just browse) this forum to learn more about crossdressing but since several members have already insulted him, that may not be a good idea.

I would say wearing women's high heeled shoes and women's panties would be defined as crossdressing. Perhaps he is not a "crossdresser" but he is crossdressing when he does that.

For anyone confused by that statement, consider this: I can play golf a couple times a year but that doesn't make me a "golfer".

[bridget thronton]

Does it matter -shoes are shoes lol

[Alice Torn]

Tell him most CDers are married, too. I am one of the very few never married non gays on here, was very surprised to see the vast majority had wives or SO's! Radar, that is some story! Very unusual!

[redtea]

He is a CDer, He is just in denial because denial feels good!
I use denial too, No way am i gonna become a gurl. Nu uh Not for me no way! I'm a man! and these are my Manties*

[Violetgray]

Pumped, this is what your friend's argument sounds like to me:

"Yes, I put this piece of cake in my mouth, chewed it then swallowed it, but I didn't eat it. See, most people eat cake because it's delicious. I just eat it because my blood sugar is low. So because I'm not ingesting it for the same reasons, I don't see why I should say I ate it."

[Stephanie47]

Maybe he's not a cross(dresser) but a cross(shoer). Maybe he would admit to being a fetish dresser. Maybe he spends all his spare time practicing for the annual "Walk a Mile in Her Shoes" campaign.

[audreyinalbany]

well no, obviously if he conflates those two things...crossdressing and homosexuality...he cannot, psychologically identify himself as a crossdress as that would automatically identify him as gay,so thorough some kind of warped internal logic, he has convinced himself that he is not a crossdresser.

[AnnieMac]

No, he is a "crosswalker", and he will be pleased to know that there are many of those areas where
He can feel free to be himself and use them in many major city streets.

[Tracii G]

Sums it up for me.