Love can keep a relationship somewhat together, but RESPECT,, is very important, too. I am62, still single, and i fine women lose respect for me, when i reveal that i sometimes CD. They want a "real man", not an effeminate one, and cannot fathom why i would CD. Only a lesbian seemed to accept me, and she was not looking for a man, though. Respcit is number one with men, in what they want. When the respect is gone, even love is not that great.
i read it, platypus_man had shared a pretty credible perspective on page 6 of one of those links....
Not sure who you're responding to. This thread is already 11 years old, and the last post is a year old. Of the several threads on this topic which you will find on this forum, it's been disclosed that there were less than a handful of women who would even consider dating a crossdresser. Most studies show that about 99% won't date a crossdresser, and the remaining 1% won't seek us out intentionally; that, because there's no upside for her to do it. Women enjoy having an impressive man as a companion, and a crossdresser is the last thing she wants to tell her girlfriends that she's dating. And so...The best advice I've gotten, would be to befriend gay women and get them to take you along to their bars where you could potentially meet staight, or bi-curious women who, while attracted to females, aren't really ready to have sex or any other physical contact with another woman. Those women are your 'market', and there's pretty much no other way to find them. You'll have to learn female dating body language (read Leil Lowndes 'U.S.S.' to learn this) as well as be able to talk to these women without seeming to be just interested in sex. Good luck. You're going to need it. I've been on personal ad sites now for almost 20 years, and have gotten less than 5 responses from women who knew this about me. (OTOH, on sites where I don't disclose this, I get plenty of responses from women, so it's not the rest of me that's a problem, just the crossdressing).
....Mykell
i dressed like a girl and i liked it!crossdressing...theirs an app for that
That's your litmus test!?!? Dating sites? I already responded to your "plentyoffish" reference that simply refutes your argument.Originally Posted by sometimes_miss
Of course, women are not seeking out cross dressers. In fact, I'd bet women are not seeking out blind people either. It's a complication that is easy to avoid by not starting. That analogy ends here as blind people probably don't come out their wives 20 years later with, "Honey, I have to tell you something. I'm blind." Still, if you asked 100 women about dating a blind person, they'd likely respond the same as they do about cross dressers, "I don't know." or "I might be open to it." You se, the "deal breaker" you reference is not cross dressing. It's YOU. It's one's personality and common interests. Cross dressing is one thing, not all things.
Nope, they are not. But most importantly, no one has ever written such a thing on this forum that I have read. Again, it is a complication that is easier to live without than to live with. I know my wife would rather I was not a cross dresser. It makes life easier or "normal." But I am a cross dresser and she accepts that without reservation. It is a fact, after all.
To your point about "support" I agree, all would like it but this complication makes that tough for many wives. Acceptance isn't a bad thing because at least one can stop hiding. Support may come in time or not at all but hiding ends with acceptance.
Jen,
Just another thought on the NORM question.
I can't speak for everyone but the norm side of me tried so dammed hard to to keep a business going when part of me was somewhere else, so the norm to us maybe proving to ourselves that with have the mental ability to earn a living and provide for a family, I always related it to a car engine, two cylinders were firing normally and two were pulling in an entirely different direction .
Some might say I was lucky and others say a terrible distraction but as professional photographer for thirty years I had to arrange hundreds of wedding dresses, secretly all I wanted was to be one of the bridesmaids, some of those dresses did get through to me sometimes !!
Well, of the ones that I can identify as most likely being female in the first four pages of the first thread, here:
1 well i guess if thats what a guy likes its ok but i'm not a big fan of it
2 i'm really not in to any guy right now except kyle where having twins
3 I don't like them cause some of those guys can look way better than me and that's just not fair.......
I let ppl. be, It's cool I give them their space..
4 no thanks.......
5 Not really. It doesn't excite me in any way, if that's what you mean. I suppose I could live with a guy who does it as long as he doesn't steal my clothes.
6 Sorry folks,...I thought I was open minded but this is where I draw the line as it does nothing for me.....but to each their own as long as you are happy go for it!
7 No, but I do like guys in make up...Dave Navarro type make up, not stripper girl make up, but I think a lot of guys look a lot better in make up than we do!
8 It's not for me. I would think that a woman would kind of have to be into women to be attracted to a man dressed as a woman. Or at least bi-sexual. JMO!
9 Think of myself as a liberal kinda gal. But no wouldn't do anything for me, unless it was funny, eg going to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show, then I would prob expect him to dress up. I would too.
10 Hi, i don't mind them - and I also have a lot of respect for them, for not being so taken back by society that they are able to show who they feel they are. I don't mind so long as its not continuously shoved in somebodies face if they don't particually feel comfortable with it. On a romantic level, I don't tink I would ever be able to be emotionally involved with somebody - but I would certainly be friends with somebody.
11 each to their own and if thats what floats your boat fair enough, personally for me i am not keen as i like my men to be manly.
12 I love em! Heterosexual men in skirts, Gladiator style? Glam rocks! * this one, while seemingly positive, embraces only 'gladiator' style skirts. Not feminine style.
13I have nothing against someone who is a crossdresser,but I don't know if I
would want to date one.
14 All I have to say is: Leather Kilts * positive again, but again not feminine attire.
15 I thought I already posted to this thread. Guess not. Know I posted to others like it tho. Bottom line is it depends who it is. Could be lots of fun. But this question is much like 'do you like guys in jeans?', 'how about guys in uniform?', 'scuba gear?' etc. Depends who it is. Some guys are hot no matter what they are or aren't wearing. Some aren't. And the yes or no vote varies between respondents. *This one is mixed.
16 Lol, darlin' that just DON'T churn my butter, lol...but if any of you guys like doin' that, knock yaself out!
17 Nope, keep your boxer-briefs on!
18 I was intimate with one...but he was in the closet about it. Didn't find out until I found him dressed in thigh highs and heels on another site. He was KINKY...I loved it. * Ahh, finally a positive one!
19 Personally, I like transexual men. The kind who take it serious, always dress like girls, have glued in or woven extensions, etc etc. It's like being bisexual without being bisexual? But that's just me. *another positive!
20 I tried to be ok with it but it did break us up in the end. Each to their own but its not for me sorry.
21 the guy is demented and needing counseling NOTTTTTTTTTTT a turn on at all
22 It's an instant turn off for me.
23 give me a man in a corset, fishnets and heels any day ... *another positive!
24 Definitely NOT. TOTAL turn off.
25 I think its cool to be totaly honest * + again.
26 if he is cute, i like it.
27 I like my men straight and Toppy.
28 I may like them as friends, and to each his/her own. HOWEVER, in terms of dating I will be the ONLY one wearing heels, make-up and lingerie
29 Think i could accept it and everything and certainly wouldn't have a problem with it but i can't ay i'd look for it ina guy..
30 It just doesn't do anything to excite me. I like my man to be a manly man!!!!
31 You are just going to have to buy your own clothes dude cause you ain't wearing mine.
32 Not a turn on! No thanks!
33 I used to live with /date a Tranny in Lauderdale
34 I don't ever wish to date a crossdresser..............ever!
35 on my term would be ok but not sure id like it if they insisted on wearing my dresses
36 I'm not sure I'd want to date a man who seriously loved dressing like a woman..
37 I have a few friends that crossdress. But date? No. I want my man looking like a man
38 it's not my thing...but to each their own...I like me a manly man...
39 girls do you like cross dressers Personally I think they are very sick !!
40 I am sexually attracted to a man. Men (in my mind) don't share my clothing and makeup. Not knocking it. Just saying it's not something I would ever consider for myself.
41 I dress my boy up all the timeHe looks especially pretty in white fishnet thigh hi's and lace booty shorts.
42 I don't think I could date a crossdresser
43 I think they're queers
44 I have nothing against cross dressers but it is my preference not to date a man who likes to dress up like a woman
If you call that a clear and overwhelming indication that women are open to it, we 'clearly' read things differently. What it best indicates, is when you look for something, that's what you're more likely to see.
There are some positive, but mostly negative. There are even some which seem to think that wearing a kilt or gladiator outfit is considered crossdressing, and I wonder how they would feel about the same guy in a cheerleader uniform instead of that gladiator skirt, because it's what we'd more likely wish to wear. Some seem to be on the fence; perhaps not sure until they're in a relationship with one of us. Of course, over the years when I tried to contact the ones who seemed 'open to it', I got no response back. Doesn't mean they weren't open to it, just that there simply aren't anywhere's near enough women that ARE open to crossdressing, to go around for each of us to have one of our very own.
Yes, it's 'only' one thing. But it IS the 800 pound gorilla in the living room, not the fly on the windowsill
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 09-28-2016 at 06:53 PM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
noun
noun: norm; noun: the norm
1.
something that is usual, typical, or standard.
jen, why do you feel that dolovewell's original comment is negative, its dolovewell's "norm"
its different than jennifer@home's "norm" on your "litmus test" a tolerant crossdresser support site of mostly older married crossdressers.
dolovewellis dating and doing what is described and even preached by some here as the right thing to do.....be honest about it in the beginning of the relationship,
i shared a post from platapus_man from 2016 from the dating site somtimesmiss shared, it is current it is relevant and it is from someone who is dating and sharing with potential partners that he is indeed a crossdresser and shared his "norm"
so everybody has a different "norm" why would it make it negative if it does not match yours....for all three of these examples it is theyre truth....
Last edited by mykell; 09-28-2016 at 06:46 PM. Reason: shared definition
....Mykell
i dressed like a girl and i liked it!
Lexi, didn't you hear? That's the overwhelming majority being "open" to it!
In which case, I'd hate to hear from those who are *against* the idea.
Anyway, let's not spoil the fantasy that everybody in the world just loves CD'ers.
Because it's only the experiences of a certain few here which are obviously the norm everywhere for everyone, don't you know...
It is the norm. And this forum abounds with stories of those who came out and it didn't end well!
Nah, it's pretty apparent that the hypothetical CD'er in this case obviously did something wrong to everyone -- otherwise, all those GG's would be totally into it, don't you know!
Maybe she just didn't have her head up, shoulders back & a smile on her face?
Wow, interesting thread. A lot of it has to do with any individuals circumstance. Some find partners who do not have a big issue with it. Others find partners that all have big issues with it. Some areas are a bit easier in acceptance than others. Those that live in more accepting areas vs those who live in less accepting areas.
Just recently I vacationed for a week in Florida. Went to several different places. I also observed that there is a lot of work in the state right now. Seems to be that the Florida's economy is doing better than many other states right now. So, a lot of blue collar guys around. And ya know what, they ain't the same as the blue collar guys in my area. Many of the women in my area also are decidedly into the macho hardcore masculinity. It is what it is in the area in which I live. Thankfully I do travel enough to keep my sanity and know that the entire world is not like where I live.
In here I call it the bubble. Many of us surround ourselves with people and perhaps partners and live in places that generally are more accepting than not accepting. And that is a good thing, a smart thing really, because why live with such dislike or vial hatred? It only makes sense. To those who are late to the party, maybe only now discovering themselves or at least to the extent of themselves (me for one) We formed our life without ever looking or seeking acceptance. We didn't accept ourselves. I was born and raised where I live now. For whatever reason, most likely socio economics, it has slid very far down in a lot of ways. So it is even more of a non accepting place then it was decades ago, not that it ever was an overly accepting place, but now where I live really dives right to the bottom of non accepting places and people. I have A LOT invested in my life, and just packing up and moving to a more accepting area is not just something I can do on a whim. 3 more years till my 1st window to retire. Do I give that up? Do I take that big of a financial hit? I have one in college and another one soon. I have 2 houses, great benefits.... Both my wife and I are lucky in the job security we have.
Just about anywhere I go I see more accepting places and people than where I live. I could chuck it all and live where it better suits my gender issues. I could make my wife more uncomfortable, I could upset my sick elderly mother, confuse my kids....
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
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