Jenni's Wake up call

[Daintre]

Hi friends, again here I am asking for advice. I have posted here before and the responces I received have been very well written and very imformative.
A bit of history, I have health issues and some months ago I was hospitalized with heart and breathing issues, I spent 3 months in hospital, needed a pacemaker and I came away a very changed person. I now am mostly a stay at home person, I have oxygen when breathing gets difficult. but enough of this.

Earlier this year I was in the hospital for 4 days due to pnemonia, my resistance is much lower these days. During my stay in hospital I finally got to thinking, what would happen if I were to die suddenly ( I know we will all die sooner or later)? Obviously my family would have to settle my affairs. I have related to you that I do have a 16 year old son who knows about my dressing and I know I was outed to my family by my ex during our messy divorce. BUT......I have never shared my lifestyle with my sisters, I was always very careful to keep my private life hidden from the family. I do have a will, so my possesions and finances can be dealt with. Has anyone thought of what will happen when they pass on, I realize I will not be here to care but I do care what happens to my reputation, how the family views me and how they will treat my son when I am gone (my son is a CD) They will have to deal with getting rid of my feminine wardobe, and everything transgendered that I have. As I write this I cringe at what they will think of me. So can anyone give me some advice so I can resolve this inner turmoil, I really do not know if I have the strength to meet with my sisters and reveal my innermost secrets.
Jenni

[DanaJ]

I have a very good GG friend who knows about my CDing and has a key. I have asked her if she hears of my demise, to come over and clear out my girl stuff before any of my family get here. She has agreed, she is a real sweetheart!

More troublesome would be my computer, I think I will have to teach her how to do the quick format C:/ command LOL

[Rikkicn]

Here's my idea,
I would write them a letter that is given to them upon your death.
In the letter you could explain that you cross dressed. You may mention your shame and loss of their love was what kept you from telling them. You could also say that they didn't get to know all of you during you life but now as a result of your death, they can.
You might tell them about your history with cross dressing and how it made you feel and your regrets about not being"out" about it.
I would then designate a piece of your jewelry for each of them to remember you by.
You could even designate a cd organization for charitable contributions.
You may not want to do this at all. Perhaps you could consider writting the letter and then deciding if you want to go through with it. It may help you toreach a place of comfort within yourself as well.
Hope this helps
All my love
Rikki

[Michelle2008]

Good topic.....

I also have an awesome female friend who knows of my crossdressing. If I pass on unexpectedly, she has assured me that she will go to my place and take out all my girly items. But furthermore, I know our local funeral house pretty well and have a letter on file with them. They will only open it when I pass on. It has specific instructions that I want a closed casket funeral with a picture of my male self next to it. So when my family and friends pass my casket during my funeral they will see my pic of my male self. The way most know me. But inside my casket, I will be wearing a full lite pink lacy ball gown complete with all appropiate accessories. Jewelry, wig, full make-up...etc.

I just hope my last wishes are honored and can be carried out without my family knowing.....

Take Care,
Michelle

[Barb Valentine]

I would tell your son (he knows) apon your death to go in and remove your
wardrobe before your faimly gos in

long live & good health

[Kimberley]

Here's my idea,
I would write them a letter that is given to them upon your death.
In the letter you could explain that you cross dressed. You may mention your shame and loss of their love was what kept you from telling them. You could also say that they didn't get to know all of you during you life but now as a result of your death, they can.
You might tell them about your history with cross dressing and how it made you feel and your regrets about not being"out" about it.
I would then designate a piece of your jewelry for each of them to remember you by.
You could even designate a cd organization for charitable contributions.
You may not want to do this at all. Perhaps you could consider writting the letter and then deciding if you want to go through with it. It may help you toreach a place of comfort within yourself as well.
Hope this helps
All my love
Rikki

***********

At the end I would add that I want to be buried in a little black dress....
Sorry, I just couldnt resist being a little playful.

Even though she absolutely doesnt approve, my wife would have to deal with it as best she can. I know it sounds harsh but under the circumstances of a sudden demise there is little choice.

I also have a sealed letter for her with the lawyer. It does explain my feelings about my CD/TG issues but absolutely does not place any blame anywhere. The lawyer has been instructed not to give it to her for three months after my death (and I am assuming I will go first).

Kimberley

[Gwen]

***********
I also have a sealed letter for her with the lawyer. It does explain my feelings about my CD/TG issues but absolutely does not place any blame anywhere. The lawyer has been instructed not to give it to her for three months after my death (and I am assuming I will go first).

Kimberley

Ya, that could be troublesome. What if the lawyer goes first? Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Interesting that so many are worried about their reputation after they die. I would rather an open casket and put me in my best dress! :GE:
-Gwen

[Billijo49504]

My wife said, if I die, the closet won't be her side, my side, it will all be her closet. We both wear a lot of the same size clothes.

[AprilMae]

Since my S/O knows about me there is no shock awaiting her upon my demise. As far as what and who she chooses to tell, I don't care one bit. It's up to her. Just as is the decisiin on how to dispose of my remains. My only request is that she doesn't waste money on it.

[TGMarla]

Simple. Have your son take care of the feminine things upon your demise. But seriously, once you're dead, you'll realize just how trivial it all is anyway.

[Jasmine Ellis]

Nightmare just thinking about when you are dead, that you left your knickers under the bed.........

[Sharon]

Everyone I care about -- except my mother, but we won't go into that --knows about me, and I don't give a frig what anyone else thinks. My only concern is the dispensation of my estate, which has long been stipulated in my will.

[Laura Jane]

Not told any one in my family although I was busted many moons ago as a teenager by my mum, so who knows who else in the family knows.

I figure it will give them somthing extra to talk about at the funeral, especially if I leave instruction to be laid out in my best formal dress!

[cyle_elise]

i had considered putting a note at the top of where i keep my stuff asking that they just throw it away and respect my final wishes by not venturing inside. I am reasonably sure my mom wouldnt heed that warning but she would also be the most understanding im sure. in any event ive thought about it. my computer none of my family has the skills to get into so im not concerned with that.