Asking wife for me to meet other CDs

[Sissyboy2]

How hard is it to for wife to allow me to hang out with other CDs. My wife tolerates some of my crossdressing. Doesn't love but can accept it. She has never seen me fully dressed, just lingerie and dresses.

So my question is I know it's easy making friends through CD communities but what about from your wife's side.

I get I'm an adult and I could be friends with who I choose but I do have to keep her in mind. So what's your experience like. I want to meet other CDs and hang out with them like go shopping.

So I know the hardest part of CDing is actually coming out, so I already past that challenge. What are your experiences like, did she tell you yes, was she hurt,jealous confused?

I am partly worried that I might start to go beyond friends because I have had a lot of Cd fantasies but that's a different issue. I can get turned on my Cders. To me cding is very sexual and arousing.I'll worry about that later.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Sissyboy,
My first couple of meetings with other cder's was without my SO's knowledge.
She had later found out about those meetings and wasn't all to happy
about it!
After that she went out with me to meet with a few friends, a few months later
these same people were at our home for a dinner party.
Since then I've met with a couple other forum friends (with her knowledge)
and she's been fine with it.
As far as those fantasies...I'm sure those are exactly what your wife would be
most worried about!
Keeping your wife involved with, or at least aware of your CD activities is important to her.
It's one of those "trust" things, but if she knows your possibly aroused by other CDers, how
could she ever say "yes" to you meeting with others without her being present?
Take her along!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[josrphine]

Hi, My house cleaner came over the house yesterday for her bi wk cleaning. She was all excited about the drag bingo she had been to. She knows I am a CD. Well my wife was there and we talked and she asked us if we would like to go with her the next time. My wife said yes and we are now setting up the trip. Oct 29. Will keep every one informed, yes I am going as Josephine.

[erickka]

My S/O took a vacation to Sarasota and saw that drag bingo. Said she had a blast. Hope you have fun too.

[Sissyboy2]

I mean is it hard to get her approval to meet other cds

[Ressie]

I am partly worried that I might start to go beyond friends because I have had a lot of Cd fantasies but that's a different issue. I can get turned on my Cders. To me cding is very sexual and arousing.I'll worry about that later.

I think this is might be your ultimate intention. Are you being honest with yourself?

[Teresa]

Sissyboy,
Find a social group and try it out , to please the wife go in drab the first time, most groups are OK with that. I'm in a DADT situation my wife doesn't want to see me but she has accepted I need to dress so I now go out once a month to meet other members of the TG community. We use a small hotel and conference centre so my wife is also happy with that , OK I have to drive thirty or so miles dressed and she's getting use to that but does take the precaution of giving me the all clear to drive from house, ( she waits in her car down the road and calls me on the mobile phone, it works fine. )
It has balanced my CDing and my wife appears to be more accepting, maybe because she thought I was exaggerating my CDing but now she sees I have the courage and conviction to go out she does realise the need I have.

[JenniferMBlack]

I mean is it hard to get her approval to meet other cds

It is harder if they don't accept it then if they do. Will be even harder if she knows you get turned on by other Cds. My girlfriend is fine with me meeting others and has come along to meet them as well. I'm sure it is always in the back of her mind if I am looking for more then friends as she knows I am bi.

[Krisi]

I suspect that your wife will think that you meeting other crossdressers will turn into something sexual (gay) and you pretty much admitted this in your last paragraph. If it's an organized crossdressing event, she might agree to let you go as long as she goes with you. Or maybe not.

You should keep in mind that marriage is often a compromise. We give up some of our "rights" when we agree to share our lives with someone else. I suspect there might be situations where you would rather not have your wife going out alone to meet people.

Realize that none of us here can speak for your wife so you will have to decide what is the best way to bring the subject up. If your wife has never seen you fully dressed and presenting as a woman, this combined with the "going out to meet other crossdressers" thing is going to be a lot to take in all at once. You might want to let her get accustomed to seeing you as a woman first. Then bring up the thing about meeting other crossdressers.

[AlyssaJ]

My wife has a real hard time with the idea and so far is not open to it. I think the others here hit it on the head that one of the big issues for wives is that they fear such an encounter will turn into a gay sexual experience or that we may find a new circle of friends and they'll be completely left out. Coming with you may help alleviate both of those concerns, however you have another potential issue with your wife. You say she's never seen you fully dressed and that she accepts it but doesn't like it. I question that word accept. To me acceptance is they've faced who you are in all it's extremes and have decided they love you enough to make that part of who you are a part of your shared life. So to me, if she's not seen you dressed and doesn't like it, I'm not sure I'd say it's 100% acceptance. So now trying to get her to accompany you to a meet-up where you'll be fully dressed and there will be other fully dressed CDs could be very tough and might even backfire.

Now I've not successfully navigated these waters myself yet, so I'm not going to give you advice. But I just want to call out some things for you to think about as often times we get so locked in on one idea of how these discussions may go based on others' experiences that we totally miss considering the other possible outcomes. Hugs and good luck!

[Tracii G]

Find a CD support group in your area and try that first.
You get to meet others on a friend basis and once you get to know a few members better and hit it off then go shopping or dinner that kind of thing.
Don't go into the friendship thinking sex is the motivation because they may not think the way you do and want nothing to do with sex.
Meeting other CDers at a support group is not the same as a swingers night or an orgy its about being comfy and discussing trans subjects.
Leave your sexual fantasies at home because if you are married you have no business cheating on your wife.

[Shelly Preston]

I would also suggest finding a local support group.

Some worry that they will meet someone they know. You have to remember they will be there for the same reason as you are.

One thing I know about most of us is we know how to keep a secret if asked too.

[Lorileah]

at a place that isn't associated with sexuality. Bars and dance clubs rend to hav reputations as hook up points (and if your wife ever went with you even if your friends stay platonic there are those there on the prowl so to speak)

[ellbee]

Not saying the OP should do this, but I've found that that much (but not all) of the "hook-up" aspect of bars & clubs can be greatly minimized *if* you go with a mixed group (a few men & GG's).

An interested guy might very well be that much more intimidated to approach someone if they're with a bunch of others. Especially if you were to purposely sit next to one of your male friends (hetero, gay, whatever) -- are they "off-limits" because those two are together? A stranger would most likely assume they are, and focus his sights elsewhere.


BTW, speaking from experience, this isn't 100% fool-proof, of course.

But it can most certainly help!

[docrobbysherry]

I have met a lot of dressers in person. They tend to like to go out and socialize. Not get together for nails, shopping, or dressing up together. The ones that do those things together tend to get a bit more "intimate" than the rest of us.

Personally, I think you're playing with fire if u want to meet CD's and r attracted to them. U have a lot more issues to work thru than just "getting your wife to approve your meetings", Sissy. I'm curious if u hook up with a dresser, how would u and she handle that?