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Thread: We shouldn't even have to come out.

  1. #1
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    We shouldn't even have to come out.

    I know it's been said before so I'll keep it short. Crossdressers should not even feel they need to come out looking at the past.
    Pink used to be for boys and blue was for girls. It wasn't even until marketing companies in the 80's that started selling pink for girls and blue for boys.

    Boys used to wear dresses until they were 6.We want to wear a dress who cares. It's just clothes. Men wear skirts all around the world. It's the media that says what we should wear. In a perfect world there should be no men's and women's clothes. It should just be one big section. (Actually I can see this happening some point in near future).
    Sorry to rant it's just stupid marketing in the media that gets in peoples minds of what things ought to be.

  2. #2
    Silver Member franlee's Avatar
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    You have pretty well nailed it. The only difference is what we let it mean and the older I get the less I care. I just want to get along and enjoy what I worked for back when I was having to play the PC game.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Fran
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  3. #3
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    As long as you don't care about how or if any other people ever interact with you, then you're right, you don't have to come out.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  4. #4
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    Not sure how old you are but pink for girls and blue for boys has been around way longer than that.
    It was that way in the 50"s when I was a kid.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sissyboy2 View Post
    ................. Sorry to rant it's just stupid marketing in the media that gets in peoples minds of what things ought to be.
    The media controls peoples minds in way more serious ways than that.

  6. #6
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sissyboy2 View Post
    Pink used to be for boys and blue was for girls. It wasn't even until marketing companies in the 80's that started selling pink for girls and blue for boys.
    Really, who knew??? I must have totally missed that one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sissyboy2 View Post
    In a perfect world there should be no men's and women's clothes. It should just be one big section. (Actually I can see this happening some point in near future).
    Nope, highly unlikely to happen in the near future.

    A vast majority of people out there are perfectly content with the gender binary when it comes to clothing. Men dress like men, women dress like women. This also is mirrored in attraction. Women generally like their men to look like men who shop for their clothing in the dude section, and vice versa.

    Personally, I have zero interest in the world becoming one giant melting pot of a singular fashion goo.

    Now if the outliers (as in all of us) wish to run around town presenting fully as a female, sport a beard while wearing their frilly finest, or any presentation in between, that is what is likely to change as time goes by as evidenced by those of us who actually do these things in the real world. But even doing these things while not having to worry about the repercussions of "coming out" to any & all, time will tell if societal attitudes will change in that way.

    In other words, stop fighting the binary. It is what it is. Just be yourself and don't expect everyone else to follow your lead.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  7. #7
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    Yeah men dress like men because the media portrays that image. The image could have been the opposite but its not

  8. #8
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Men have always dressed like men. The media has nothing to do with it.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  9. #9
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    I don't know about most of the cd ers here, but for me, having any kind of 'unisex' apparel doesn't do it. I like dressing as a woman because it's dressing like a woman. Everyone wearing skirts or dresses would kind of defeat the purpose, for me, anyway. I don't want to be a guy in a dress, I want to appear as womanly as possible. That's why the wigs and makeup and padding.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sissyboy2 View Post
    ... marketing companies in the 80's that started selling pink for girls and blue for boys. It's the media that says what we should wear. ....
    Yeah, and Hallmark invented birthdays to sell cards!

    You sure you have your timing right? Did you mean the 1780's? As always, these comparisons to history are without merit. What was accepted fashion, centuries ago, is irrelevant today.

  11. #11
    Happy in Heels xNicolex's Avatar
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    Firstly I agree the media has alot to do with how we see the world and accept change to social trends. I don't agree that fashion hundreds of years ago has no effect on today's views of course it does! Fashion from the 16th,17th,18th,19th 20th 21st, century has had a direct impact on the dress you wear today! But back to my point if a few male A lister celebs came out as crossdressers then that would have a huge effect on social trends and a direct effect on the way people (in particular young people) view the subject matter. There is no denying that younger people are the social catalyst for change but only change when it's relevent or socially acceptable. The majority of people are sheep and do as sheep do and flock for the shepherd that is the media. It's not the case with all of course, many of us have a brain and don't get drawn in so easily by all the marketing tools used, I for one am not one of those sheep who feel the need to buy a new iphone just because it's the most relevant. I feel as though many of us may also want to break from social norms but finds it's less hassle and safer to just go with the flow of docile sheep. It's a shame but it's true that our futures are influenced heavily by predetermined ideas of what makes us human. It's not that pink is for girls or blue is for boys, it's life is for everyone to live as they wish, to be who you want be free from the pressure of social conformity. Alas this is not an ideal world but we must try to be true to ourselves as much as possible and follow our own desires not because everyone else says so but because we feel it's right.
    Last edited by xNicolex; 09-30-2016 at 08:37 PM.
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  12. #12
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    It's the media, very controlling.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

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    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
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  13. #13
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Fashion has diverged way too much.


    GG's won't be giving up certain things anytime soon.

    And nor will regular guys be wearing most types of things that aren't made for them.


    That's fine. I prefer it this way.

    GG's got some awesome things going on. They know it, and we know it.

  14. #14
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    B-but if you removed clothing labels all the bigots won't know what to wear! #bigotlivessortofmatter!

    Without clothing labels we would no longer be crossdressers...I mean we would still be but it would be like calling a girl wearing a blue t shirt and jeans a crossdresser because 75 years ago women didn't wear pants. It was a trend that came to be during WW2 when women filled up the work force and wore pants since dresses and skirts weren't practical while working around machinery. Plus there was a powerful message of "we can do it" showing a tomboy woman.

    Maybe Once WW3 starts men will get a chance to wear dresses Women will be surrounded by all these CDing men and grow to like them since it becomes the norm. The only real reason women don't like CDers is because it's not normal. But the thing is, everyone is too afraid of not being "normal" that most people don't try crossdressing, it's too weird. Only the curious stumble into the pink fog.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 09-30-2016 at 11:53 PM. Reason: No politics

  15. #15
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    Even if everyone wore the same thing except that women identified with a red sleeve on the right arm and men identified with a blue sleeve on the right arm, there would be some guys, me included, wearing red sleeves.

  16. #16
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    ^^^ (@redtea)...

    This just kills me every time.

    How often do I have to point out that a vast majority of dudes out there are totally content in being the dudes they are? Why do some here feel they need to validate their place in the world by imagining a need to recruit others to the cause???

    What makes you think that a man wearing an amazing suit who is looking beyond handsome needs a longing to open his closet and perhaps select a dress instead? Heels? Perish the thought. He has zero interest and that is OK. There is absolutely nothing wrong with most men being content, confident and perhaps handsome in their day to day masculine existence. Most men don't long to be pretty or beautiful. Why is that seen as a problem by some?

    We are unusual, get used to it. You don't make our unusual normal by influencing others dress/act/behave as we do. Instead, you make our unusual normal simply by helping them to accept our being unusual as being utterly...normal.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  17. #17
    Member Periwinkle's Avatar
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    Whereas I don't really think we'll have a big mixture of fashions any time soon, I do really hope that coming out becomes unnecessary. Or at the very least, for there to be less at stake when you do tell people. Some people, myself included, haven't had a whole lot of issues concerning the reactions of others. But there are still some crazy, bigoted people out there who might hurt or kill someone just for challenging their idea of what a man can do or be. Even though I've had positive reactions from friends and family, I still feel a bit unsafe when I leave the house because I live in a conservative area. It's ridiculous. We should be able to wear the clothes we want to wear without having to worry about repercussions. We aren't hurting anyone. Some of us do it to be comfortable, to have fun, or to really become a woman. Whether for a short or indefinite period of time. But those things shouldn't condemn us to suffer any consequences. Yeah, we aren't the most masculine men, but I just don't understand why this is such a problem. Maybe I can see how it could be an issue for an SO, but if they don't love you for who you are, then they can either accept that CDing is an important part of your life or leave. They don't have to love or even like it, but they shouldn't berate you for something that's important to you. Ooooh my. I've gone on for a while. I just get so riled up when it comes to this subject. But I'm sure you all get the gist of what I'm saying.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    You cant believe everything you read on the internet so take this article from Smithsonian.com with a grain of salt but it does detail and explain some of the points made in this thread.

    http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-c...370097/?no-ist

  19. #19
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    Excellent article Tracy, thanks for sharing!

    And I'd think the grain of salt shouldn't be needed for a publication of Smithsonian's caliber.

    That said, it is interesting that one of the quotes suggests disdain for the binary and supports expansion of neutral. I'm all good with that with the expectation that while neutral may be a slowly expanding zone, I don't see it as one which is likely to take over. In keeping with my earlier comments, I don't see people who are comfortable in a gender binary way of self-expression to migrate to neutral (or to the other end) just because they can. Much of this depends on how neutral evolves.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sissyboy2 View Post
    Yeah men dress like men because the media portrays that image. The image could have been the opposite but its not
    Boy, the media reports what is. The media doesn't care what the image is.

    Quote Originally Posted by audreyinalbany View Post
    ...Everyone wearing skirts or dresses would kind of defeat the purpose, ....
    Quote Originally Posted by abby054 View Post
    Even if everyone wore the same thing except that women identified with a red sleeve on the right arm and men identified with a blue sleeve on the right arm, there would be some guys, me included, wearing red sleeves.
    I with Audrey and Abby. A cross dresser would find their way to cross dress.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sara Jessica View Post
    ^^^ (@redtea)...

    How often do I have to point out that a vast majority of dudes out there are totally content in being the dudes they are? ...
    WHAT!?!?! You mean all guys are not secretly wanting to wear dresses? So I'm a cross dresser just because of me? Oh the humanity.

    Quote Originally Posted by Periwinkle View Post
    ....Some people, myself included, haven't had a whole lot of issues concerning the reactions of others. But there are still some crazy, bigoted people out there who might hurt or kill someone just for challenging their idea of what a man can do or be. Even though I've had positive reactions from friends and family, I still feel a bit unsafe when I leave the house because I live in a conservative area. It's ridiculous. ...
    Yes, it is kind of ridiculous. Despite your own experiences you are using an extreme "what if" to scare or limit yourself. And you happen to live in one of the most "trans" friendly states in the country. Of course there is risk when you step out the door. And risk exists whether you are wearing pants or a dress.

  21. #21
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    Well written post Nicolex. I really enjoyed reading it!

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