In this age of right wing fear and hate I sense some reasonable, accepting people have shifted toward the intolerant. I couldn't begin to imagine whats in someone else's mind, but I'm always ready for a negative reply
In this age of right wing fear and hate I sense some reasonable, accepting people have shifted toward the intolerant. I couldn't begin to imagine whats in someone else's mind, but I'm always ready for a negative reply
Its just another "what if".Originally Posted by Lorileah
Being part of the gay community I just don't see straight women going after gay guys as a love interest.
Sure straight women tend to not mind hanging out with gay men as friends but how many of those are CD's?
The amount of gay men that CD is actually pretty low because most CD's a straight married males.
Most gay men I know don't go for CD's they would rather the guy dresses like a guy.
I know this from experience.
Where are you coming up with this theory?
Let's flip that shall we? You're a 30 something never married guy and you see a lesbian (assuming there was maybe a name tag that said "Hi I'm Tiffany and I like women" because how else would you know for sure?) are you threatened? Do you honestly think gay men and women are going to steal your straight woman?Because... there are a limited quantity of men so that even gay men want your straight males? That wouldn't be fun at all. I mean, straight guys don't really want what gay guys have to offer. Well except interior design work. After that....what?And yes straight women are in competition with gay men. For MEN!There are a lot of straight men that are falling for gay men. Especially if they already look like hot women.Let's go out sometime. You and me. My world. I am an above average looking woman who can't get a date because...who I used to be...gay OR straight. Honey, you can't turn a straight guy gay or vice versa. I know I know "we" have an agenda and this year I have only flipped 10% of my quota. At least that's what I hear. As far as competition goes, women my age would rather not . If you have to work that hard, it isn't worth it
So....TGs are sex toys? Concubines? It's nice to know that on the hierarchy of sexual satisfactions, "we" are better than women. I can add that to my dating profile. What am I supposed to be willing to do? I have never had a woman fear me. I haven't had a woman fear I would take their man.And I would think that one gay CD could keep at least a couple of men very satisfied beyond what women generally are willing to do. Possibly more.
Now all the "gay" CDs here raise your hand. Never mind you're too busy keeping several men satisfied (note the vast majority of CDs are straight). Really, you need to go out with a TG...to a straight bar (see how many single men would date you). and a gay bar (see how many gay would even consider you). You reduce attraction to base sex and marriage and I assume reproduction (which TGs are really really bad at)
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
I will interject something here that I am seeing in Mr Barts argument.
It seems CDing is all about sex and stealing potential partners from others and turning straight men gay.
I'll second this, also from experience. (Though somehow I was still able to convince him to let me stay en femme all those times.)
Anyway, I will say there are some gay men out there who look at it as a "fun challenge" to try to hook up with straight guys. Twisted & cruel, but I've also found that to be real-life truth.
As for the bi non-CD guys? Who would they prefer to be with at any given time, if given a choice: a GG, a non-CD male, or a CD? Beats me, but I could see a pretty strong case for that last one.
Anyway, can we get back on-topic, please?
Hi Deebra, It could depend on the woman's age...
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Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Yes, it makes it easier on himself if all other cross dressers are "like" him. Classic projection. Psych 101
I didn't mean to make anyone mad. And no I probably don't know what I'm talking about. But yes if there were 6 million more women in this country and I'm unmarried wanting to married, I would see 2 lesbians together as further reducing my chances. I never said that a straight woman would go after a gay CD, just see her chances dwindle.
I'll bow out now. Again the OP is just wondering what they're thinking.
I don't think that's it at all. We're simply in another stage of the woman's 'equality' movement, where girls are being told they can demand to be treated the same way as men are. Problem is, those who are doing the instructing forgot to adjust the DNA of the males to adjust to this new type of female that refuses to comply with the pressures to be what is traditionally attractive to males. Men are still primarily attracted to visual clues, and girls who ignore that will have fewer males interested in her, to choose from. Sure, a few nuts will try to 'shame them' into behaving how they want, but most men will simply choose other women.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Does it really matter what she thinks?
If you're out shopping why are you wondering about what some woman is thinking when she see you? You should be thinking, "Do they have that dress in my size?", or maybe "She's checking me out, ooh those are cute shoes she's wearing. I should ask her where she got them."
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Yes, that is exactly what you wrote, several times. In fact, your statement of denial above alludes to that very thing. One's chances can not "dwindle" if one is not searching out that thing.
This woman has no chance with a gay man for whom she is not searching. What a relief for her.
How can there be 2 or 3 more gay men out of her reach if she is not searching for them?
Your first sentence is literally the opposite of what you claim to be your position. And your second sentence is absurd. There are ZERO straight men falling for gay men. Are you sure you understand the meaning of "straight" in this context?
A gay man can only create problems for a woman if she is searching out gay men. Again, counter to your stated position
You are like Donald Trump. Say something and then simply deny you said it despite numerous instances of having stated such.
I only have one question, are you Donald Trump?
She is thinking "why did I leave my pitchfork and torch at home today" or "OMG, I need to dress more feminine, he's showing me up!" or "I wonder what colour of panties he is wearing" or "that is such a nice wig, perhaps my husband would look better wearing one. His comb over is not all that sexy anymore"
Last edited by Princess Chantal; 10-03-2016 at 05:10 PM.
So there are absolutely no straight men interested in CDs? Are all married men totally hetero?
As far as average women, there are no average women! They're all unique with their individual thoughts.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
This is an interesting discussion, and I can only speak from my own experience. Firstly my son is gay and from the talks we've had it seems the majority of gay men he knows are attracted only to their own like (of course there are exceptions). Asking him on his thoughts of CDers he said they are generally perceived by the gay community as being straight (the majority), or Bi-Gay or Bi-curious (the minority). As for womens perceptions of Cders, my SO has a fairly liberal attitude, when seeing a CDer her reaction is usually, 'oh, he looks really good'. or 'I like his dress,skirt, shoes ect' (note the use of 'he'). And that is pretty much it, nothing else. Most women I know would have a similar attitude. I'm no expert on the subject but can pass on what I do know.
Leslie, well said.
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Guynbart. I was shocked to see how many happily married couples were on here, too. Shocked, since i am 62 and still single, and no women i have met in my age range accept my CDing. I am not sure i understand where you are coming from, but in some cases i am sure it is true. Nothing new under the old sun!
Maybe Deebra is hoping that one day, a GG will see Deebra and think, "Wow, what a hot crossdresser (or woman), I'd love to get to know this person and I hope we go on a date"?
If this is why you keep asking this question, Deebra, you need to understand what forms the basis for attraction for most people. It's a lot more than how someone looks. Sure, most of us admire or enjoy looking at beautiful or sexy people, but if they are jerks, will they retain our attraction or admiration? No.
I think that most people want to date an interesting person who has a pleasing personality, a decent sense of humor, some degree of intelligence as well as drive or ambition to accomplish the things they want to accomplish. Bonus points if they take an interest in lots of different things (for example the arts, current events, travel) or if they have interesting hobbies, and can talk about these things in a thoughtful manner - if they are independent thinkers and don't just mirror what everyone else is saying.
So if you keep opening threads with this question in the hopes of finding a way to meet a GG who will be attracted to you, my advice is to meet her first in guy mode. I say this because although there are lots of GGs who can be civil or even nice to a CDer if they get into a casual conversation with him at some public place, it's a different matter when it comes to dating. Few GGs will initially think when setting eyes on a crossdresser, "Oooh, how awesome I'd love to go out with this person". So, meet someone in guy mode first. Dazzle her with everything you have to offer in a relationship (your personality, your sense of humor, your kindness and thoughtfulness, your accomplishments, your own unique way of thinking, etc), and when she thinks that you're a catch after you've gotten to know each other, then you can let her know that you also enjoy CDing. If she is into you, she will be more likely to work with it than if she isn't into you. We have wonderful stories of accepting wives and girlfriends in this forum, but I can't help but think these members have a lot to offer in guy mode as well, else their relationships would not have developed.
I don't know how old you are, but I'm under the impression that younger people are generally more accepting of gender and sexual variance than their prior generation. So if you are on the younger end of the spectrum, your chances of having a potential girlfriend work with it when you tell her about the CDing is greater (I believe) than if you are at the older end of the spectrum.
[Edit]
Have you heard the song, "Anything you can do, I can do better?" Honey, there ain't nothing a guy can do that a GG can't do, even if it takes props.
Seriously, you're living in a different world than the rest of us, I'm afraid. Trust me when I say that GGs do NOT feel that they need to compete with CDers for guys. lol. The guys who want to be with GGs are not into men, unless they're bi. But, bisexuals account for a small percentage of our population. The vast majority of men are not gay or bi, therefore they would not be into CDers. Admittedly, if you hang out in places where some men are attracted to CDers either online or in bars, then I can understand why your perception is skewed.
Last edited by ReineD; 10-04-2016 at 03:48 AM.
Reine
ReineD, your perception of me is wrong, wrong, wrong. I am not looking for a mate, I have been in a very happy and solid relationship for fifteen years with my gg SO. As you commented on an earlier thread I am not obsessed with being femininely beautiful but I do like the curvy feminine look of twenty something females and of course love to wear the clothes they wear. I am in good shape and can wear the clothes. When I go public I dress andro and enjoy how the clothes "feel when wearing" and also wearing them in public, it's my right and have had no bad reactions from those I pass and interact with. I have come to the confidence zone of what our members say about being in public, dress nice and nobody cares and I sincerely believe most women are O.K. with seeing a CD. Even though I would like to take the dressing further with nice boobs and heels I know my limits and when to stop when going out. Nothing else brings the enjoyment of CDing. When dressed and out I truly enjoy the feel of the feminine clothes from the underwear to the outer clothing, acting with female mannerisms and I do feel feminine. Now that you know more about me I look forward to your future comments, anything you may have said has not offended me and I really do appreciate them ( of course you think you are right but I know I'm right).
I post and come up with different topics to keep this forum interesting, to long time members and new as well. So deebra will "keep em coming", BYE
One thing I have learned in life is that if you go through life looking for the worst in people, you will usually find it.
The other side of the coin is, if you go through life looking for the best in people, you will often find it. Try it, I'll bet it works for you.
Deebra, My fiancee is a very judgemental women with a very little filter. We have been out and come across a CD and she'll say to me, "Who does he think he's kidding?" My reply is always "the same people I think I'm fooling, no one and please say she." Now she is very accepting of me dressed, encourages me to dress. But she does judge others.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
I'm not sure if it is "judging", but when my wife and I are out in public, she points out any unusual dressing, hairstyles, etc. if I don't notice them first. For example, someone (male or female) with green or blue hair, a guy with way too tight pants, a woman with way too high heels, etc. People do notice.
Deebra ... I did ask if maybe this was your reason for continuously opening threads with this question. I didn't say it was your reason. You do seem to ask this a lot and so I also wondered why.
If you are instead merely concerned about not being judged negatively when you wear women's things in public, then I agree with Cheryl T who asked, what does it matter what others think. And my response to you is still the same:
Most GGs will not care, because you have no impact on their lives. You are not married to them, you are not their employee, their brother, their son, etc, you are not invited to family get-togethers in their homes. They may chit-chat with you when you are a customer in their store or if they're standing in line with you waiting to make a purchase, but that's as far as it will go. They'll have forgotten about you when they leave, other than perhaps a few of them telling their friends later they saw a crossdresser. I do agree with the members who suggested that some of these GGs might think you are gay. But, being gay is accepted in our more liberal pockets of society so this is not a bad thing. And there will be a few who will not condone your choices (like Alwayshave's fiancée), but it will be impossible to tell which of the GGs feel this way because most will keep their opinions to themselves in your presence. And there will also be a few who will admire what you do and think you brave for being out in public dressed. But most GGs? They really won't care either way, for the reason I stated: you have no impact on their lives. However ... should these same neutral GGs' husbands or boyfriends tell them they crossdress, they would react in the same way as the wives and girlfriends of our members. They'd initially wonder if their husbands are gay, or if they want to become women, and they'd object if their husbands wanted to dress full time and come out to everyone they know. And a few of them would want to be in a DADT arrangement.
Last, if you keep asking this question in order to add interest to the forum, then I go back to wondering why you so frequently ask the same question.
Last edited by ReineD; 10-04-2016 at 12:30 PM.
Reine
girls are too irrational for me to even begin to think of what they are thinking. My rational male mind can only think of rational thoughts that make sense, but girls are far too irrational and complex to even come close.
I would think they think things like
1- Aw he looks so cute, he's so in touch with his feminine side
2- That's a nice skirt he has on, and those shoes look nice as well
3- ew wtf, is this guy for real, well ok don't make eye contact don't make eye contact
4- What a total creep! i bet he's a pedophile too
5- i wish my boyfriend was like that
6- Is that really a wig or is that natural hair?
But maybe i'm wrong, I am a male after all... Perhaps they will not think at all and just stare at my butt and think "i want a piece of that booty"
Or be frantically thinking of a way to compliment the CDer to make them seem tolerant and "a good person"
Irrational? I'm a GG.It stands to reason that I do not agree with you. lol
Reine
Reine women are all around us (CD's) and we are wearing there clothes which they aren't use to seeing, again this is 2016 and attitudes and clothing has changed big time, I'm just trying to get a pretty true answer what the average women is thinking. I really would love to know what they think when they see a CD. Kinda like a car mechanic that really wants to find out why the car won't start sometimes and most of the time it will. Let's don't over think this, you know women are from venus and men are from mars and women's mind can change in a mila second and go all over the map, just ask redtea, irrational and complex. Males think different than females, if I had a female mind I wouldn't be asking this question; I don't so I am.
One thing we do have in common, I think, we both wear panties, I know I do, how about you. Thongs can be substituted and are allowed instead of panties.
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