In/out of closet, I'm in, only a few people know.
In outdoors, my ex and current wife like to go out but I really don't. While no one ever says anything to me, I have a very short fuse (Chicagoan) and would see me getting into altercations if someone made fun of me.
I'm not sure where you could ever get that idea. If that were our aim, it would be simple to do. Unfortunately, there are potential consequences of outing ourselves that not all of us wish to risk. I'm a crossdresser, but that's not all that I am; yet, once people know that I'm a crossdresser, that is how very many of them will primarily define me, just as when they think of a gay person, a retired president, famous athlete, a pedophile, a murderer, etc., it's the most outstanding characteristic of that person. Quick, think of Bruce Jenner, what automatically NOW comes to mind? It used to be 'decathlon champion'. Not anymore, though. Same with, oh, Bill Cosby. Can anyone avoid thinking, gee, maybe he did drug those women? Jello pudding pops are no longer something that's on the top of the list to associate with him.Originally Posted by Teresa
I don't want to be thought of as 'the crossdresser across the street'.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Out. Definitely out. I hated being in. As soon as I figured out who I was and what I was it was out the door. I think I was in for 4 months once I set myself free to be me. What I mean is. That once I shed all the surporfulous stuff in my life and allowed myself explore who I really was. Why did I have this urge. Was it a fetish. Was it more. I quickly realized that sitting at home was just not something I was into. I don't get dolled up to relax. Honestly I don't understand that point of being. I know it exists, it's just not how I work.
You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same
Marcelo,
That's a very good quote, " Need to be seen !" Maybe that's a subject for another thread , " What drives that need ?"
I don't play a musical instrument , well a piano very badly ! I do enjoy painting . About five years ago the tutor of our art group decided we must have an exhibition , that was quite a scary announcement , but we all put pieces in and to my surprise I sold one in the first ten minutes, since then I have sold several, so the need to be seen extends outside my CDing, without being seen I wouldn't be selling my work. Without being seen as a CDer I wouldn't have come to terms with it so well.
I haven't done a count yet of the , " IN or OUT " replies but it does look as if many are out and many want to be out. I appreciate the term OUT is a loose one , so I guess that it means being seen by the general public and hopefully without too many problems. Most appear to fear what the neighbours think , I know I've said this before but you may not be the only CDer in your street , who knows what goes on behind their closed doors.
Last edited by Teresa; 10-13-2016 at 01:03 PM.
I'm in. No desire to be out. I've built a nice girl retreat for myself and am perfectly happy being in that space. It's like curling up in a comfy chair with a glass of wine and a good book. Maybe a fire in the fireplace on a cool night. A deep sigh, and a chance to simply relax and recharge my soul.
I love to go out dressed. I usually plan it after a professional makeover.
Teresa i'm very much in and thats not going to change in the forseable future. Someone said earlier that being in the closet is like being in prison, and I can relate to that so well, I have followed your story for some time now and am truly happy for you , your not that far from me and from time to time I think of trying to meet up but I know its not going to happen. You once asked if people here were happy in thier duel lives, well i'm definately not, but I whish tou well on your journey and I envy your freedom, its good to read of the outings of all here, it gives hope to those of us who are locked in our private little cells. Thank you. Heather
I'm out. I could care less if others have an issue with it. It's there problem not mine. I'm happy, if they are not, I have a therapist they can visit to discuss their issues.
I am out, for the most part, to my wife and a few friends.
Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."
-Home Movies
(cartoon series)
Shoe size: 9 US women's.
Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
Height: 5' 6".
I prefer to be out and do normal things. I have come to the conclusion that most people in stores don't notice you if you are dressed like average women. Same in resturant.
I check in to hotels en femme and use my male credit card. I don't advertise I am male but don't hide it. Pass would be nice accepted is great. Blending is how you behave.
I don't make a scene. The shorter my skirt the more attention I get. But yes I like being out. I guess I enjoy being me.
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
Well said. My feelings exactly.
I've always wanted to be out, and I I did it recently.
I had to travel to Sth Africa and London on business.
I prepared my self to leave the confines of the closet. Sth Africa was to be my debut but I couldn't work up the "courage" while there.
I arrived in London and everything just felt right while I was there, I left the confines of the hotel on numerous occasions , albeit at night, but it felt so liberating , I was comfortable, it was easy, I thought the monkey is off my back. I'll be able to do it anywhere now, wrong I arrived home and my new found freedom disappears, back in the closet and worried about being seen.
I think it might be that I'm concerned about being seen as the "neighbourhood tranny"
I do travel for work , so my next chance to be out will happen soon so I might be able to get to build that away confidence for for when I'm at home
Last edited by Rosemary+; 10-16-2016 at 02:27 PM.
Well I am in, but I want (and I will one day) to come out. Not sure how far it goes this "be out". Night drives? Night walks? Evenning walks? Shopping (highly doubt that one), well who know. Ash maybe knows
I feel like I had enought of in time. Also 80% I am not home alone so I realy like to use most of those 20% for me and Ashley. I think be all time in is like to buy a Ferrari and then keep it closed in garage where nobody see it. But I wanna to take it for a drive but to afraid of getting scratch on it. Hope you get meaning
"Do not care what others think, do what you must" - Javik, ME3
I let this question run for a while so now I've done a count up of replies:-
Members who replied preferring to be IN 6
Members who replied saying they were IN but would prefer to be OUT 19
Members who replied saying they had been OUT or were OUT 32
That makes the total number of replies 57 if my maths are correct .
That figure was out of 2,094 viewings , I wonder why so many are reluctant to even say anonymously what their preferences are.
I will thank Grace as a TS for answering, it's good to get an opinion from someone who doesn't have a choice.
I'm not trying to get the highest hit on replies but if anyone wishes to continue the question please feel free.
Out , since my wife and few others know I have been much happier...
No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.
OK, I read this thread several days ago and did not have time to pound away on the keyboard. I am an in-home cross dresser in a DADT marriage. I get about seven hours a day when I have the opportunity to be en femme. When my wife visits friends or relatives out of state I do venture out in the evening darkness. Unless I were to have someplace to go without being an attraction I'm content to be home. When en femme I accomplish a lot of domestic chores done.
I'm six foot even and 200 pounds and clearly have a masculine body which makes me 0% passable. Maybe if there was some cross dressing social/support group within a short distance I would consider socializing with other cross dressers. Just to dress and go out without any purpose gets boring.
Dressing at home by myself was fun for a while but once I went out I haven't looked back. Like others have said here, once I get all dressed up I need to go out. I will meet others CD's for coffee, meal, or just shopping. Movie theater, park, or anyplace I get the urge. I will admit it is more fun with someone, but I have a limited circle of friends that I am out to.
Home for me. I've been out before and am over it. Safe and happy here at the casa
I'm half the man I used to be, and twice the person that I once was...and Nothing beats a great pair of L'eggs. Be all you can be ladies!WARNING:Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies, projects, or any other purpose - YOU DO NOT HAVE MY PERMISSION To Use Any Of My Profile Or Pictures In Any Form Or Forum Both Current And Future.
Most definitely out, and so much happier that way.
Both, yesterday was an out day going for petrol for my car then a little bit of shopping. I find that if circumstances cause me to be In for a length of time then slight nervousness creeps just before I go out then I am happy.
When out I have yet to conquer total happy ease in large shopping malls.
I am very much in. My spouse does not know and I have no intention of telling her - not much to gain, too much to lose. Same with relationships with friends, neighbors and acquaintances in a small to medium sized town. I go out underdressed from time to time but that is about as far as I will go. With my body size and shape, I'd never pass anyway. I would like to speak with a live human being about my crossdressing. So, maybe at some point, I might find a trusted counselor or even another member of the forum that I could meet in drab and just chat with. Anonymously, there have been some very nice Sales Associates who have known that I was buying for myself, but those have been cash transactions away from home. I even have a Dress Barn Blush card . But that's about as "out" as I will ever be.
OUT....def out...at the stage I am at now there is no such thing as "in" anymore, unless I am not going anywhere that day, and I got on a mudmask LOL....
When I started though, IN was fun, I get it, but after a while I got bored, and wanted out...then out became everyday. Then this became life...everyone is at different stages and levels which is great as long as you are happy. Just have fun with it. xoxo
Personally, I am somewhat, but not completely, out in regards to my own cross-dressing; indeed, I am certainly more out about this than I was, say, one or two years ago.
I have a question, I'm seeing DADT in some comments, could someone please tell me what that is? LOL thanks in advance.
I'm half the man I used to be, and twice the person that I once was...and Nothing beats a great pair of L'eggs. Be all you can be ladies!
I am out to my SO, and dress whenever I feel like it at home, which is most days. I am not out to the community at large since I have commitments and responsibilities that would totally blow up if my CD persona became public. So, happiness is relative...I am happy to have the freedom to dress at home, not ecstatic that society in general doesn't recognize LBGT as a culturally legitimate way of life. You might argue that there are legal protections, and progressive agendas that are pushing for universal acceptance of any chosen sexual/gender orientation. But when Uncle Henry's teeth drop out of his mouth when he sees you in a dress at Thanksgiving dinner, you know there is judgment that needs to be dealt with.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don't_ask,_don't_tell
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