Great outfit. Wish I had the courage to go out dressed. All I get up the courage to do is drive in to the mountains, find a secluded place and have lunch or read a book with a nice mountain breeze up skirt or dress. Or I go in my backyard which during the summer months is nothing but full trees for some nice privacy.
AgreeOriginally Posted by Tracii G
Starting tomorrow all you who think that outfit was too provocative will be required to wear nothing but old sweat pants and a dowdy sweater. Here in the upper fashion malls that would be seen. Now for those of you who called her a sex worker, repeat after me "In MY day a woman woulds NEVER leave the house with her knees showing..."
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
I would also like to say thank you to all of you for your kind and supportive remarks.
I really don't want to jump in this thread, but...
I will say that there are definitely some regional differences across the country (and world) when it comes to fashion. What might look out-of-place in one area, might actually not be so bad in another.
I honestly don't know in this case what GG's may or may not wear at a particular time of day/night to this particular mall in this particular geographic area.
Would I personally wear that? No. But it really doesn't matter.
Heck, some would say what I wear is boring & "not for them." Just last night, for example, I was out shopping in guy-mode -- yet wearing 5 out of 6 fem things. I did it in a way specifically to blend *as a guy*. Talk about a challenge.
Since my public-dressing is coming out of a recent slumber, I've been taking this as a new learning opportunity & experimentation when it comes to fashion, putting a different spin on it & going about it in a fairly unique way, which I feel will help me in a positive way. Not to say that I didn't used to dress pretty well in the past, but typically it was a lot more obvious fem. Anyway, now that I'm doing this again, I try to keep a keen ear & eye out for any sort of reaction from others (but in a non-sketchy way, LOL). And last night at multiple locations? Nothing that I was aware of. I think I did pretty good with my look.
But the really weird thing? I could easily slap on some padding, wig & make-up while wearing that same outfit -- and totally look like regular GG! Yes, it would be quite blendable (and if I got in even better shape, perhaps even passable in certain instances). And I don't think I would attract all that much attention.
Anyway, my suggestion for anyone & everyone is to never stop learning about fashion. Not only what works for GG's & what doesn't, but since we are obviously *not* GG's, that we need to factor in some additional tweaks which are more appropriate for ourselves, as well.
Wearing a selection of femme items in guy mode is no big deal I have been doing it daily for 7 years and its no big deal Laura as you are finding out on your journey.
I think its pretty nasty to come out and bash someone as harshly as V did to Majella just because she didn't approve of the outfit for the venue.
Veronica you need to come to Kentucky to Keeneland horse racing track and look at some of the wealthy older ladies in their 60's and 70's and how they dress.
They still look good trust me and have the moxie to wear mini skirts.
I love to watch them go to the betting windows and drop several hundred thousand dollars on their own horse wearing designer outfits not much different than that.
If a woman was wearing that outfit at the mall, she'd likely be 19.
Didn't I hear you espousing the virtues of said outfit at a club???
Thought so. Opinions change toward the defensive as the tenor of the conversation goes.
No one is saying said outfit isn't fab. I certainly didn't say so, one way or another. My opinion of the outfit itself is completely irrelevant. It just isn't a look that even remotely blends in. Even here in progressive/fashion-forward SoCal, that ain't gonna fly on a 40-something+ woman, let alone a 40-something+ TG woman, let alone one who is 50+.
Again, there is a school of thought here that says we are all rule-breakers so to heck with them all. Pants or jeans with flats, perish the thought. And that is all good and fine. But I'll say this much. I know too many full time women who are living this 24/7/365 that I have vowed never to make anything more dicey for anyone who is full time who might follow in my wake. This is one reason why I pay attention to what other women wear when it comes to time/place/weather/event/etc. You know the saying, when in Rome...
No one is saying we have to dress like librarians. But that isn't really the point. The outfit as pictured is rather provocative rather than being simply overdressed. Everyone here has heard the stereotypical joke, the micro-mini/fishnets/heels at the mall...well I think we have at least one of those elements here. Over-the-knee boots may be all the rage but I'm not seeing them on women over 25 and I would add that as a key element which makes the entire look more provocative, i.e. - more for clubbing than the mall. Like it or not, Veronica was right when she pointed out there are ways for women of a certain age to show off plenty of sex appeal while remaining absolutely classy.
And good gosh, this was a first time outing to a mall. It should only go up from here. Many of us who have been there/done that will attest to that fact.
Last edited by Sara Jessica; 10-18-2016 at 10:37 PM.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Sara I was consistent in my comments and I can change my views on things if need be.
I'm done with this thread because a few are getting mean,snotty and think their way is the only way.
I don't see why people have to be so nasty to each other.
Last edited by Tracii G; 10-19-2016 at 12:48 AM.
I'm glad this thread came up. I'm friends with a number of cross dressers in a private little group and I raised a question yesterday regarding how we just send praise to someone who posts a photograph and say how good they look, when we should really be providing something constructive to help them improve how they look and how they are perceived by others around them. Everyone in our little group helps each other and we don't just say 'wow, you look great girl'. It's more about 'yes, good, but you could do with thinning those eyebrows just a little', or 'hmm, great to wear indoors, but that dress is a little short on you for your figure'. If we are ever going to accepted completely in the world and not stereotyped as a bloke in a frock four sizes too small in heels they can't stand on then we should provide and take constructive criticism. Our bathroom mirrors are without question rose tinted that's why others need to help! I've lots of dresses that I'd wear at home or in a club, but not in the high street.
One of my closest friends is out and about everyday now, fully dressed as a girl and blends perfectly within her surroundings and rarely does she ever get read. The reason is she wears what is appropriate for where she is and her age. About 8 months ago we both went out shopping and she got read within 5 minutes. How things change and that's through improvement from helping each other.
So, take criticism when it's offered, don't be offended by it, it's there to help you improve your look as I'm sure anything nasty would be stamped on be the mods!
As for you outfit - I love the boots and bag I really do and they are something that I would happily wear (although I'm not sure where) but they would be quite outgoing even for a GG. In my local town you wouldn't get away with the short skirt without getting lots of the (Wrong) attention regardless of age. However in my nearest big city which is a whole lot more cosmopolitan you wouldn't stand out that much.
I think we need to look at our body shapes (which aren't anything like a GG), work with what we've got and dress appropriately - balancing our wide shoulders with our hips is a good start. Aiming to disguise our longer arms, large hands, large jawlines etc.
Last edited by AnnaMarie; 10-19-2016 at 01:34 AM.
Very nicely said Anna Marie in defense of constructive criticism.
Tracii, I was just trying to reconcile how your opinion went from clubbing outfit to full defense of mall-appropriate. At the end of the day, yours and mine are just that, opinions which happen to differ. Sorry you feel a need to pick up your marbles and go home, I thought you added something productive to this discussion.
And all of this got me thinking more about over-the-knee boots. It wasn't right for me to say that women over 25 aren't wearing these. It's just that I feel as if I've seen more of these in stores than actually being worn by people in the wild. And it's not as if no women are buying them, this is at least the second or third fall season where they've been "the rage". But the rage with whom and where are they wearing them??? Most/all of the well known uber-designers are making these (Jimmy Choo/CL/Manolo Blahnik, Weitzman, etc). Do an image search for any of these and those who are depicted in real life situations are either presenting very edgy or very casual (ie- with jeans or leggings). The common theme appears to be these models are quite young which doesn't really say much about the real world. Still, I'm going to keep my eyes open when in Rome to see how pervasive this style really is outside of the club scene.
Bringing this full circle, having over-thought this whole thing, my sole issue is with the micro-mini. I'm thinking that jeans would have made the outfit rather blendable and perhaps not even debatable as to age-appropriateness. Not that I'm getting a sense that OP is even remotely interested in constructive comments regardless of how many have been presented in this thread.
Last edited by Sara Jessica; 10-19-2016 at 08:26 AM.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
The Fashion Police have spoken.
Last edited by Lorileah; 10-19-2016 at 12:49 PM. Reason: be at least PC
AnnaMarie to expand on your first paragraph about constructive criticism I think as crossdressers we owe it to eachother to dress and act appropriate. At the same time I am against following a set of rules when it comes to crossdressing - its your life, its a free country, do what you want. But with crossdressing comes responsibility. I posted in another thread, that when I was working at Victoria's Secret, we had a hairy man come in wearing a swimsuit bikini. You think he improved or hurt the image and perception of crossdressers by those who saw him? Because this guy decided to cross the line, he damaged the reputation of crossdressers among those who saw him. Obviously this is an extreme example and I am not saying the OP's outfit damaged the reputation of crossdressers, but my point is, be mindful. As a crossdresser I don't want to be stereotyped and lumped in with those who don't dress appropriately.
It's not just dressing, its behavior as well. As a Victoria's Secret employee most of our MTF crossdresser/trans customers were polite, respectful, and dressed well. But we'd get the occasional creep/pervert. Like the guy who would walk around and ask all the employees what panties they were wearing. Really? He tried to justify it by saying he is looking for recommendations. Nice try. Outfit wise, he was presentable and appropriate. But what came out of his mouth is what ruined it for him. You think he improved or damage the reputation of crossdressers amongst the SAs he creeped on? He ruined it for the rest of us who behave.
Moral of the story, if you want to improve the image and reputation of crossdressers and tear down stereotypes, be mindful of what you are doing and wearing.
. I don't see anyone being mean in this thread, I see people who are just trying to give you advice that would be in your best interest. Like I said, there are no rules, its your life, its a free country, do what you want. The only person's opinion you should care about is your own. But at the same time, I would advise against deflecting any constructive criticism. A couple years ago when I started crossdressing I made a post to the MakeupAddiction subreddit on reddit and got nearly a thousand comments all giving advice. I had to take a week off to digest it all. Some of the advice I got was pretty harsh, but it was accurate. What if I had just dismissed it all and called them nazis? I'd never have improved or taken a step forward. I'd still be wearing the same crappy wig that many commenters pointed out, I'd still be making the same eyeliner mistakes and foundation shade mistakes and eyebrow mistakes and lip mistakes and not contouring my nose and tons of other advice I got. At least give the advice a chance. Posting to MUA and getting the constructive criticism I got was the single best crossdressing decision I ever made, so of course I am going to defend those who give constructive criticism.
Last edited by Lorileah; 10-19-2016 at 12:51 PM. Reason: response to edited part of thread
28 years old, 6' tall, 155 pounds
Measurements: 33 bust-28 waist-37 hips
Dress Size: 6, Bra Band Size: 34
Well, I'm going to throw something specific out there...
I personally stay away from a white top. Always. It's a huge no-no for me. Why? Because it makes me look top-heavy.
Some GG's can get away with it, while many can't. And I feel the same holds true for CD'ers, especially considering we have a male upper-body.
Just a link I quickly & easily pulled up via Google, which talks about which colors, for example, do what for someone...
LOOK AT THE COLOR
HIGH-FAT Neons, bright primary colors, pastels, white.
LOW-FAT Darker hues — navy, brown, charcoal, olive, burgundy, gray.
NO-FAT Black, but a closetful of black clothes is so depressing. Try to limit your black purchases to anywhere you have body issues.
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-styl...ticle-1.174943
Yes, for tops, I stick with low-fat & no-fat, thanks.
When you post a photo (or text) that can be controversial, it's unrealistic to expect that nobody will have a different opinion. If you didn't want anything but praise, you should have stated this in your original post.
Obviously, you are proud of your outfit or you wouldn't have taken a photo and posted it on the Internet. Some folks here honestly believe that your outfit was a bit outrageous for someone your age to wear to a shopping mall (especially a crossdresser) and I am in that group.
There are no "fashion police" and you can wear what you want, when and where you want. You just need to understand that not everyone will believe it is appropriate for the time and place.
The bottom line is, if it is your intention to call attention to yourself in public as a crossdresser, that outfit will do that pretty well. If you are trying to blend in as a woman at the mall, you need to tone it down. Way down. Your choice.
Last edited by Lorileah; 10-19-2016 at 12:54 PM. Reason: refers to edited post
Dress as you want. It is your decision. Everybody should be able to dress or to do whatever they want as long as they are not hurting anyone. However, I think that some criticism can be useful and well-intentioned. I do not feel disturbed or offended by your look. However, I think it is inappropriate in the sense that you will certainly receive undesired attention, so my comment has the intention to just give some advice about what you might face by dressing like that, even when I do not see anything wrong about it, I know that there are people who do it. Ideally, nobody would care about your presentation, that is the way it should be, but sadly it is not the case, even when I want to think the opposite. I do not want to justify people who judge or attack others.
Present yourself as you want but be aware about the possible consequences in a world filled with hostile and bigoted people. If you can deal with it, that is perfect and I support you!, but I think that it is a good thing to give and receive honest advice from other people, like other crossdressers in this forum. As long as the critique is not bad intentioned, the advice should be always welcomed.
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