intergender as identity / label

[desertrider]

I'm wondering what people think of intergender as a label. As in describing one's gender identity as being parallel to intersex biology. (Hopefully my understanding of the latter is not offensive to anyone). I've not heard it used but I think the parallel is useful in understanding how I feel.

I feel like it fits better than genderfluid; even though it is a fluid thing, it doesn't feel like it's changing all the time to me, only my expression of it changes significantly on a daily/weekly basis.

I feel like it fits better than bigender too, I'm not exactly feeling like both genders usually, more like some of each overall and more or less of one or the other in different parts.

I do like "just genderqueer and leave it at that", and it fits well, but it's a bit non-specific like transgender. Intergender describes some specific aspects of my experience better I think.

It probably doesn't mean much to people who aren't already aware of lgbtqia terminology anyway though, and at that point you're having a nuanced discussion already, but...

So what do yall think of the concept? Redundant? Illuminating? Obvious?

Hugs,
Summer

[dolovewell]

Live your life

Don't get caught up in labels or putting yourself into a box

It's why I don't give myself a female name. I am me. This is who I am. Me in female mode is not different from me in male mode.

[Julogden]

I don't know. I'd say do what you want and try to not worry about coming up with an exact label for who you are. If you like "intergender", then go with it and see how it works for you.

Going off on a bit of a tangent, it seems to me that our young people in particular have invented a lot of new labels and terms regarding gender and sexual identity, and they're much more open to changing their gender expression based on how one is feeling on a given day. I think it's a great thing to have the freedom to express gender in such a free manner, but I don't know if we really need even more labels to argue about as we often tend to do in our community.

[JenniferMBlack]

I agree with dolovewell. I also don't have a female name for that reason, I am me.I don't know what label to give myself and don't worry about it. Far to many other things to worry about.

[Joni T]

Why does everyone want a LABEL??? Here's a label for you--Homo Sapien.
Jon

[Tiffany Jane]

I do relate, as I had felt that internally I related to the notion of intersex but lacked the physical components of it. I do refer my self as bigender, as putting both parts of me together, in theory, makes me whole. It was the premise of having to split myself into two binary gender expressions that I lost a lot of my great day to day qualities. I classified my traits based on social perception and had a really great feminine side when alone and a horrible masculine side when I was living among society. I don't refer to myself as Tiffany for I am more masculine. Just attended a transfem meeting last night with a beard, makeup, tshirt and jeans, sandals, and breast forms. It was a safe environment and I felt like it portrayed how I feel inside out to the world. Got a few compliments on it as well. Labels are hard to live up to because we are all subject to others interpretations of the label. I found I just had to work out my sense of self so that when I am questioned about my gender expression, I am able to concisely describe how I am feeling. I also agree with genderfluid but it is a bit vague. Transgender is the process of transitioning gender permanently and as I can easily alter clothing and physical appearrance with little effort, when asked if I am, I explain this to them and tell them no, I am James, he, they pronouns please.

[Richelle423]

Don't label yourself inside the box consider yourself outside the box. Labels get people no where

[Kate Simmons]

My opinion? Just be yourself and forget about the labels. It's a lot more fun.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Summer, I just got a new DYMO Label Maker now I can make any label that I want......

[NicoleScott]

Summer, see what you've done? Just when they've been quieted down for a while, you've awakened the label-haters.

[Tracii G]

Why do you have to have a label?
Next you will be wearing June Cleaver outfits.

[Curiouser&Curiouser]

Hahaha Tracii!! I see what you did there...

Psychologically and sociologically it makes a lot of sense why we need labels - a group to belong to, a conversational shortcut, whatever it may be - they help us to make boundaries and some of us need those boundaries. I hope that we can find it in ourselves to meet all of us where we're at, and nudge them towards the full personal acceptance we all strive for.

I do think that the goal is mutual understanding, and the term could be helpful in starting a conversation. Unless it gets broad use, though, the conversation will probably be a long one...

[Krisi]

Why does everyone want a LABEL??? Here's a label for you--Homo Sapien.
Jon

To communicate with each other, we need labels. Without labels, we wouldn't know what is in a can of food. Beans? Corn? Beets? If we are talking about gender we need to have labels for that so we understand each other.

Do we need to invent new labels? I don't think so.

[Tracii G]

Glad you caught that C&C.
For me transgender is all I need to describe myself.
It seems counter productive to force yourself into one small section of such a large thing.
Then again some people tend to alienate themselves out of habit.

[NicoleScott]

Without labels, nobody would have found this forum.

The topic isn't whether labels are good or not (but that's always where it goes), but rather if "intergender" is a useful one. I say no, not needed, gender fluid works just fine.

[sometimes_miss]

A rose by any other name is still a rose. As far as a new label, well, changing the name on the label won't change how people feel about us. To most, we're still just guys in dresses. While things are changing, it takes time.

[phili]

I'm going with genderfluid since that seems more like what I feel- but it is functionally like intergender, and maybe that provides people with a safer label- if people like it, use it! If one is between genders then you aren't conflicting with anyone's turf.

[Dana44]

Intergender is a gendered state between the polar endpoints of man and woman.; both and neither at the same time. That is how it is defined. I suggest that you go to the non binary section. You seem to be in that type of gender.

[ReineD]

Here’s the thing about gender. There are basically three states, with the third that includes dozens and dozens of subtly different ways to indicate they are not the first two. The three major forms of gender are Man, Woman, or Other.

Man or Woman are pretty easy to understand. They apply to both the cis-people (the people whose sense of gender agrees with their male or female birth-sex) and to transsexuals who do solidly identify as the sex opposite than their birth-sex. As to the third form of gender, the more popular overall headings we can use instead of "Other", are Non-Binary or Gender-Nonconforming, or people can discuss whether it should be something else. Or, maybe it can simply be "Other". It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that it is something other than Man or Woman. In any case, under this third category of Non-Male and Non-Female, are literally dozens of different ways that people can identify. "Intergender" is one of them. See a compilation of all the different terms:

http://nonbinary.org/wiki/List_of_nonbinary_identities

People who feel they are neither male nor female (or man or woman) can choose one from the list they feel best describes themselves, or they are perfectly free to come up with their own new term if it is not there. The point is, no one can choose a gender label for you. You are the only one who can determine how you want to identify. You don’t need to seek approval.

In fact, you might consider changing your avatar description from Summer-Storm to Intergender, if this is the description you like best! And if in the future you feel it should be something else, then you can change it again, as your understanding of yourself deepens.

Last, you mention that the term "genderqueer" is not specific enough. The trouble is, none of these terms can fully describe your own specific gender in just one word. If you meet someone to whom you want to define yourself, you can start by saying you are Intergender and then answer any questions they are bound to have.