Jessica,
There are so many reasons, and women are all different in their acceptance level.
Some may consider their wives the strong one, they deal with far more of everyday life than the men but saying that they are only strong because we give them security, and that needs a man who does the right male things. If we suddenly announce we wear or want to wear women's clothes the secure World suddenly falls apart. Some of them deal with it because they understand enough to realise they haven't lost the man they married, they have a deep enough love to help him through the problem. Others just can't see past the fact that their partner may want to become a woman and need to be with a man, even thinking he was gay all along, so she does feel cheated .
My wife simply says she wants the man she married , she still has him but she didn't know then that he was a CDer, I know the honesty issue has been brought up many times but simply telling her before you married just isn't that simple, but that's for another thread maybe.
I do think sometimes that I would still like the woman I married, to be realistic we all change with age but at times I get the feeling of being cheated, that certain things weren't said.
I know in a recent thread that someone made the comment that the wife had turned to physical violence through the CDing problem, I feel strongly now we shouldn't be treated like punch bags and continually punished over something we can't change, we are just wired that way and the dressing is an outward sign of dealing with an inner need. I'm sorry to bring this up again but I don't see it as a hobby and I feel it's an insult to my wife and family to call it that , but I do realise now that some do share it with their partners and enjoy that lifestyle together. I'm seeing that more now I'm meeting others socially, I was very surprised how many are accompanied by their partners.
I nearly separated from my wife, simply because the void between my dressing needs and her acceptance level was too wide, it would have been on amicable terms but importantly it did bring us to the point where we had nothing to lose but to talk sensibly about it , so we worked out a compromise. It's not ideal but she still has the man when she needs him and the children still have dad .