Filming yourself in public?

[Valery L]

I have seen that video before, I like it

Seriously, I do not see anything wrong with it. I mean, I would not dress like that but I respect her choice, she is free to do it and I admire her bravery. To be honest I do not find anything painful about it. It is clear that she does not want to blend in, what is the problem with that?, it is her choice.

And about to film myself, I have done that!, I would share some of my short videos if I knew how to do it. However, I do not film my self very often and I don't draw any attention, like doing it when I am completely alone, or just recording my face as if I was about to take a selfie, things like that because I do not want to draw unnecessary attention. The ideal thing for me would be if someone else filmed me, that would be amazing since I am very curious about how passable I can be when I go out and do my things.

[Princess Chantal]

One of my friends loves to do the video of herself. She doesn't do it to capture the reaction of those around her, but obviously likes the attention online as she adds tags like "up-skirt" to her videos. Majority of her public outings are with me and my partner, so we may be tending the camera at times while we are enjoying whatever activity we are doing. She tends to do some recording before and or after by herself. Her thing is to show off her legs in pantyhose out and about.
Here's her latest video from the fun we had during the weekend before Halloween. We went to the casino for the karaoke and costume contest (in which my friend Mutt won) then to the lgbt nightclub. You could see me around the minute mark dancing with a group of women that came up to me asking to dance. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E1IMen6p6a0

[aprilgirl]

Obviously, an exhibitionist here, brazenly out and about merely for shock value purposes. I didn’t watch the video, and have no desire to do so, but the intent is clear. It’s not as if they were trying to blend, or capture other’s non- reactions, to determine if they passed. There is a time and place for everything, and this wasn’t it, in my opinion.

[Krisi]

OK, I watched it.

First of all, a couple people are reading things into this video that aren't there. It's a self made video of a crossdresser out in public that's been put on the Internet. Nothing more. If you don't like it, turn it off.

Second, although I suspect this crossdresser is proud of herself, she has a long way to go if she is trying to blend in as a woman. Her entire outfit is inappropriate for daytime and for a casual restaurant. Plus, she forgot the most obvious thing, a purse. Unfortunately, when I read the stories members of this forum post of their excursions into the real world, it often looks like they are making the same mistakes. This video makes a good instructional video on how not to pass or blend in public.

As for taking videos of yourself in public, you really need someone else to go with you and work the camera. Even setting the camera down leaves you walking in and out of the frame or back and forth like the first part of this video. I have done that myself and it's pretty pointless..

If you want to record other people's reactions, you can buy an inexpensive video camera (under $100) and hide it in your purse.

[mykell]

was always amazed how whoopie walked in heels, could only find this short clip but if anyone has watched her movies they might recall, and i dont think she does it on purpose, she just does not know how....

[dolovewell]

Wearing clothes that are not appropriate for the occasion is exactly what reinforces negative stereotypes about crossdressers and makes it more difficult for us.

Spare me the "We need to be supportive! Don't judge what a crossdresser wears out in public! We need to be supportive of all crossdressers, regardless of what they wear! How dare you judge what she is wearing! We should be celebrative and positive toward any outfit!" garbage.

Sometimes being supportive means saying "No, bad idea. Don't do that". It also means treating a crossdresser just like you would a GG. I would not look favorably toward a GG that dressed inappropriate for the occassion. Same with a crossdresser.

Out of curiosity I watched more of these crossdressing in public videos on YouTube - it angers me that so many of them are so sexualized and fetishized. I get that your YouTube audience may be looking for one thing, but you are satisfying that audience at the expense of ruining the reputation of crossdressers in the public eye.

[IamWren]

.... The fact that so many of you think the worst thing about this is what they're wearing or how well they pass or not is distressing.

For the record... I do not believe my comment about not blending in is the worst thing about that video. In threads past though I have hinted my disdain for fetish dressers and was promptly scolded for it and had comments deleted.

After watching this person's other videos, I am certain he is a fetish dresser but more so, gets off on the rush of the exhibition and of people gawking at him out in public than simply presenting as a female and going about your day.

And for the "if that's your thing, fine" camp. No! I call BS on that crap. Like Zooey said, he is using other people without them knowing they are being video recorded for his exhibitionist fetish to get off later. THAT is NOT ok if that's your thing!

I completely agree with DoLove in that people like this reinforce negative stereotypes of crossdressers and reinforce negative feelings toward anyone who is on the TG spectrum who is honestly just trying present themselves in a way that matches their gender identity.

[AnnieMac]

Ya know, I've read everyone's comments here, and they are good and well expressed. Mine is that it doesn't matter whether we are talking about a crossdresser, or GG out to grab a bit to eat on the road somewhere. When you are dressed that differently than everyone else for a particular location, you are going to attract attention. I can remember myself staring as a reaction to GG's I have seen when they were dressed drastically to attract attention. So CD or GG it doesn't matter much.
The fact that this is recorded to later watch people's reactions changes things also. i think it's one thing to record yourself when dressed to blend, and see how well you are passing at passing (so to speak), used as a learning tool to help you in the future. I think this can be very useful I would think. But the fact that he has on the frilly super short skirt, hooker heels, and especially the gartered stockings, under panty-hose, is meant to attract attention for probably fetish reasons. When have you seen any normal woman dressed like that! That brings a whole big level of creepiness factor to it, and weirds me out, like it would weird out any normal GG. That video makes me want to purge tomorrow (naw, I wont) .
It made me think that the creeped-out reaction we have to this might be some what equal to what our SOs have, when they see us dressed for the first time, perhaps its on that level, I dunno. Gee, I hope this guy doesn't do this often, I'm having a hard enough time trying to get brave enough to go out dressed normally, and hope people won't notice me, or at least accept me. - Annie's Soapbox

[I Am Paula]

Hey...no one got hurt, and she was having fun. No, she didn't blend...so? Somebody needs to go to Comicon.

[Helen_Highwater]

I'm torn between on the one hand being a strong supporter of every persons right to present themselves as they see fit as against doing something for the shock value. This I don't see this as a piece of performance art or an attempt to push social boundaries. There's no attempt to really interact with those around other than to say, no not say, yell, look at me! I'd go as far as to call it irresponsible for as others have said it re-enforces many peoples distorted impressions of how the vast majority of Trans/CD folks behave.

Now I'm sure that in the past I've looked in the mirror and seen a fairy princess looking back when I should have seen an ugly sister and in truth non of us know just how she sees herself so again there's a part of me willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. The socially responsible part of me says there are far better ways to present yourself and represent the rest of our community.



And if you do want to glam it up then there's a time and a place to do it

[ellbee]

Another that made me shake my head...


Younger CD'er, maybe mid- to late-20's. Dressed for attention, but I suppose in a way where she can kinda-sorta get away with it. Her height in heels is a big give-away, but overall looks okay enough. A bit animated in her femmy swishyness, but I suppose I'd rather see that than some hulking man-walk. Also, she likes to ham it up for the camera sometimes when apparently no one is looking, LOL... Definitely engages the viewers.

What's great about her videos is that she enjoys making small-talk with strangers & service people (e.g., at a coffee shop). She's smiling & obviously having a good time, and oftentimes it appears the other person genuinely is, too. Very extroverted type.


Here's the thing: Sometimes the camera picks up the audio if you turn up the volume... And she's talking like freakin' Mickey Mouse!!!

Why, why, WHY??


Oh, and something confirmed in her videos that I already knew: If a guy knows you're a CD'er, sometimes he will still check out your butt & legs some more when you're not looking, anyway.

[Krisi]

I'm a bit torn between the two myself.

On the one hand, we have the right to dress as we want to. That includes dressing like a hooker to attract attention and going out as a man in a dress and shocking people.

On the other hand, it does stereotype crossdressers in a negative way and that makes it harder for the rest of us to be accepted or at least tolerated by the public.

[ellbee]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aiYDyhxpMk

I kinda like some of starrynowhere's videos & the way she does it. Not the first time I've seen them; actually watched some years ago.

She might wear some shorter dresses or whatever, but it's nothing that would grab my attention in a negative way if I saw her out on the street. She has the blending thing down pretty good, IMO.

[Valery L]

It is not her duty to represent "our community", she has the right to dress as she wants. Besides I personally try to present as the best version of me when I am out, because I want to be treated and want to be seen as any other woman, I do not take any responsibility as an "ambassador" of the crossdressing collective, maybe I am one regardless of if I want to be one or not, and I surely respect everyone that decides to represent our group. However, I do not accept the responsibility since I dress for me and only for me. To have responsibilities as an "ambassador" should not be something mandatory. If someone crossdresses is because she wants to, and as long as she is not doing any harm to anybody, she can dress and act as she wants, that is none of our business.

[BettyMorgan]

It's interesting that some crossdressers wear clothes that are a version of the girls they had sexualized fantasies about at a younger age. I think if she was a GG, those people would still stare at her.

I think it's important to normalize what we do, to let the world know that there is nothing wrong with us, that it doesn't matter that we wear clothes of the opposite gender, or a blending of genders. So be out, engage in conversations, be positive. Attitudes will change and the "looks" and stares will diminish over time.
I'm sorry but this video doesn't help the cause.

[ellbee]

If someone crossdresses is because she wants to, and as long as she is not doing any harm to anybody, she can dress and act as she wants, that is none of our business.

Define "harm."

Because I believe that is key.


Yes, I think stuff like you see in some of these videos *is* harmful! These are some of the kinds of things the general public sees -- and remembers, since negative stuff "sticks" way more for way longer -- when it comes to CD'ers. Like others have said, it paints a bad picture for us. And with that kind of attitude towards us, no wonder so many of us are scared to go out!


Could you imagine, for example, that the one who's flashing the camera while in a women's clothing store was caught & busted? Yeah, you better believe that's hitting the news, so a whole bunch of others can read about it, creating & further reinforcing their negative opinion. Do you think that's actually good for CD'ers? Or do you think that's causing some harm?

(As an aside, some of the YouTube comments of that video were actually pushing the flasher to go even further next time. Um, what??)


Seriously, there's quite a bit of sketchy, creepy stuff out there that's filmed -- *and* then uploaded to YouTube. It's like, come on, what are you doing? Are you really getting some weird kicks out of it? How is any of this doing any good for anyone?

And then there's the not-so-in-your-face stuff, but still pretty bad. I don't believe in those cases that it's intentional, but just a CD'er using some poor judgement. Do they even watch their own videos? If so, why are they still making the same mistakes & doing it even more?? I honestly cringe when I watch some of this stuff -- and if *I'm* cringing, then you know that most non-CD'ing others are, too.


BTW, for the record, I see nothing wrong with "looking out-of-place" and/or getting attention in certain instances. For example, a few drag queens hitting a late-night eatery after a show & clubbing. It's not like they glammed it up specifically to grab a bite to eat & make a scene. Yes, they're quite obvious & obnoxious, but if they're having fun *and* can make some others laugh with them, then it's all good in my book.

That Burger King incident? Yeah, no one is laughing. And there lies a huge difference.

[ronniegirl]

Krisi..couldn't agree with you more...

[Teresa]

Laura,
If she was waving a large flag she couldn't have stood out anymore.

Did you see any other GG wearing what she did and to be obviously doing a video, if you wave a camera about without looking like she did people will look back to question what you're doing and why .

Her walk wasn't that bad considering the size of the heels, have you seen some GGs attempting that !

I had to smile as more customers realised what was happening at the sales counter it wasn't as much as the Ozone getting bigger but the NoZone !!

I would love to give that a go in a the same circumstances wearing my Union Jack dress
Some made comments about what might been seen on security cameras ! I had an interesting experience when buying some heels in a Next shop, a SA couldn't believe I was trying them on in the shop and called a second SA to take a look she honestly thought it was a Candid Camera stunt, a third SA came to see what the fuss was about and was about to rush off to fetch her smartphone to take some pictures but I stopped her short on that one. I still wonder what the security cameras recorded but then many of us should consider that one.

[Stephanie47]

Now Exris' link0 at #15 to a video shot by three t-girls is a better way to make a video. First, I think the three are dressed more appropriate and are very passable. With a group going to tourist traps with one of the three video recording as tourists do, this makes a more realistic situation for any outside observer. Many times I have stopped and asked the video recorder or picture taker if she or he wants me or my wife to take a picture of the entire group, so all can be in the shot. We always get a lot of thanks and acceptances.

[Zooey]

I'm not sure I've ever seen a group of people miss the point so spectacularly.

[aprilgirl]

That Burger King incident? Yeah, no one is laughing. And there lies a huge difference.

I have to ask, what was the point of posting the "elephant in the room" video, as you initially coined, on here anyway? After all, others here, as well as yourself, have referenced videos where someone was making an honest effort to present themselves well in public. I can't help but think that one of those would've been a better choice. At the very least, it may have garnered some responses to your original question, as opposed to largely being ignored because of....wait for it....the elephant in the room!

[Nikki.]

@Zooey:

I think I get your point and I pretty much agree, though to me it comes down to intent. If miniskirt's intent was to document his exhibitionist paraphilia for sexual gratification and spank material, I agree with you. And if that was miniskirt's intent, then I also agree it is wrong to include unwitting bystanders in their fantasy video. And yes, given the stripper heels and thigh highs, I'm inclined to think that was the intent, though it's possible the intent was for shock value ala Jackass or any of the other thousands of prank videos out there. And so the best thing given the above is to minimize miniskirt's gratification by not clicking or commenting on any of their videos.

[ellbee]

Zooey, still confused what your solution is, then. To take her camera & smash it? To have people stop filming in public? Yeah, that will go over real well. I believe some countries already follow that practice... Care to move there? Thought not.

Some people here do get it. However, apparently not everybody is as concerned about "being used" in this way. Guess what? People are used all the time in all sorts of ways for all kinds of reasons, sometimes knowingly, and sometimes not. We pick our battles?



April, I posted that video because it's quite telling. I originally debated doing so, because of exactly what you mentioned & ended up happening, but went with it in the end, anyway.

I see a lot of people here say, "Nobody notices!" and "Nobody cares!" Well, here's a perfect & very blatant example of that *not* being the case.

And I'm not saying that everyone actually experiences that as much as the CD'er in the video did, for all kinds of reasons. But the camera can capture a *lot* that one misses during the moment with an otherwise limited POV. Tons of videos out there show the same. Objective reality versus a subjective view.

[dolovewell]

People absolutely do notice and anyone who says people don't notice are fools.

It should not be framed as whether or not people notice and instead should be framed as what the reaction is when they do notice. Its impossible to get 100% positive reactions but if you are getting more negative than positive you need to rethink your approach.

[aprilgirl]

I see a lot of people here say, "Nobody notices!" and "Nobody cares!" Well, here's a perfect & very blatant example of that *not* being the case.

Laura, you have to admit that the subject's primary goal WAS to be noticed, making your example not so perfect. In fact, it didn't prove anything. They had no more intention of blending in as a woman than the man on the moon does.

I just feel that it has no place in the primary forum, a section that ANYONE can access. Imagine a s/o searching for answers, having recently learned a loved one's interests, then stumbling across that thread this morning. Why plant that gawker's view visual in their head, instead of someone that made an earnest effort to present themselves in a respectable manner? Sure, they'll get noticed too, if anyone cares to give them a second thought or glance, but their more likely to be treated respectfully in return.