affirmation x three

[Allisa]

Well I had to take "Buddy the attack Pug" to the vet for a cough and some blood work checking for dog stuff, so I went in my feminine male attire, tight straight leg jeans with my knee high boots, a turtle neck flared sleeve pull over sweater. No padding as I was not portraying as female but did wear small amount of mascara and powder with a touch of pale pink lipstick, my usual jewelry and a quick style of my hair. Now I see the vet maybe 2 times a year unless it's an emergency so you would think that they would not notice or remember one customer over another but I guess I'm wrong because when talking about Buddy's eye sight the doc said no offense but your "look" has changed over the years so maybe Buddy takes longer to recognize you unless close enough to catch your scent when in lesser lighting. Affirmation #1,then when getting the meds and bill the three woman techs and I had a wonderful confab about my boots, hair and over all appearance, not once questioning my motive or any negative or demeaning comments or looks, we laughed and joked and made comments about various things in general as if 4 females were gathered, or at least that's how I felt, affirmation #2. Then while picking up my pizza at my local pizzeria the owner and I talked about our dogs as if it was just another Friday night in the neighborhood. Affirmation #3. Everywhere just smiles and good vibes all around, no wonder I embrace my non-binary/gender fluidity, I know I'm going to have pleasant dreams tonight. I am so glad I have embraced my femme self and feel free to express it and have others accept or at least tolerate me, my only regret is not beginning earlier in life. Feeling so good I just had to share.

[Teresa]

Lisa,
You're totally in your comfort zone and it shows, you're obviously not dressing to shock or upset people , so they maybe assuming you're TS and they are being supportive.

[suzanne]

I love your story. It's another example of how more and more muggles are reacting to our gender expression as "Not a big deal". And I think that's how it should be. If a person looks nice, pay them a compliment, just because it's good manners to do that in any situation. Or don't. No opinion? No comment. Negative opinion? Still no comment. No one has a right to ruin somepne else's day for any reason.

Yesterday, I was at my favorite dress shop, where I'm well known to all the staff. Each of them smiled, waved or said "Hi" when they saw me. I was dressed in black slacks with a gray top, pink 4 inch peep toe heels that showed off my bright red pedicure and a faux fur coat. Most customers either didn't see me or ignored me. Or maybe they whispered something behind my back (I don't care about that. It could be positive or negative). One woman met me in an aisle, looked me up and down, then paid me a nice compliment. I smiled and said "Thank you" then we continued on our way. Yes, Virginia, things are getting better for the non binary gendered.

[Lana Mae]

Sounds like you had a very good time!! Glad you had no problems! Hugs Lana Mae

[Megan182]

Great to hear!! I admire your confidence and hope to be at that point eventually.

[Tracii G]

I have tried to convey that very feeling here over the years and only get slammed by some here.
I do the same thing you do as far as how I present in a "tween" sense or 50/50 mode and those things happen a lot to me.
The people I run into regularly like my Dr, Chiropractor, Sporting goods store I am in all the time.
Even regular friends all know I dress this way and its normal.
There are members here that somehow can't get their heads around the idea of living life kind of between the genders.

[Fiona123]

Dress how you want. 50/50, 75/25 whatev. The idea of gender fluid comes to mind when I read your post. Is sounds like you live in a nice community.

[Leslie Langford]

With all due respect, Allisa, your vet sounds like something of a quack (no pun intended!) or else he was really reaching for a lame excuse to comment on your changing appearance. In what universe does a dog's eyesight take precedence over their acute sense of smell? And even if he were totally blind, your dog would still be able to tell you apart from others just by sniffing you out - even from a distance.

That's why they use bloodhounds to track criminals, or else search out missing persons who find themselves lost out in the wild. In fact, it has now been found possible to train dogs to sniff out certain kinds of cancers in humans before even conventional means of detection can make that determination. Now THAT'S a sense of smell, and it beats eyesight any day...

[Lorileah]

then again, a Pug isn't a bloodhound. Greyhounds don't use scent much tracking, thus they are "sight hounds" . Pugs actually have severe breathing difficulties and are mouth breathers so scent would be low on their list. While I doubt the dog is doing whatever because of sight loss (which is normal in all aging dogs, it's called Lenticular Sclerosis) the vet was more likely using a backhanded compliment without coming right out and saying "Hey...you've changed!"

[Tracii G]

The vet noticed and found a way to mention the change with out being a tool Leslie.
I had a mini pom and it had breathing issues and my vet called the dog a mouth breather.
Her sense of smell was not that great either come to think of it.

[Allisa]

Your right Lorileah, I wonder how you knew that? OK I do know. Yes I believe it was his way of telling me he noticed and the situation allowed it.

[Tracii G]

Yeah I think so Lisa

[ellbee]

Not to be a Debbie Downer here, but...


...the vet...

...the three woman techs...

...local pizzeria owner...


Do you notice any kind of trend, here?

All professionals at their business establishment.


Granted, they could have said something like, "Sorry, but we don't serve your kind here!"

But is that all that commonplace these days?

They want your money. They want to keep earning a living, especially from repeat customers, who might also share positive (and negative) things via word-of-mouth. I believe there are also probably some laws in place, and they kinda-sorta don't want to get sued or receive negative media attention or anything.


Would all of the above people reacted the same elsewhere, perhaps in a less-confined social setting?

Possibly, or possibly not.

Sorry to harsh your mellow. But context is always key, remember.


Regardless, glad to hear you had positive experiences!

[Allisa]

My vet has been taking care of my Buddy the attack pug for 14 yrs. we have a relationship beyond just Dr. client and the same with the techs who could have just shuffled me off without a care. The pizzaria owner knows me for years as a Friday night regular, at 62 I think I know when I'm being patronized. I don't expect you to know how I feel when being accepted for who I am by the people that are part of my life from time to time and out and about in the real world. I'm sure when I go to the grocery store(my fave outing)tomorrow en-femme the manager will wave as usual and cashiers will be talkative as usual. All of these people, yes want my money but as a long time fixture in their routines I think I go above the almighty dollar and the outward trappings are secondary. That is why I post here to hopefully encourage.

[Lorileah]

Can't imagine an attack pug...what's he do lick you to death?

But I disagree that what you heard was just because you were a client or customer, I truly think it was because, at least in the vet's office, you are their friend and they communicated that to you. I can say that if that wasn't true, they would have handed you the bill and asked for payment and nothing more.

Now I want Pizza

[mykell]

having watched your progression here for three years i will say that what you share always comes off as genuine when you share your "self" with the group,
candid and concise can always be expected when we read your stories about your experiences whether your all guy, all girl or somewhere in between which seems to be your new norm, keep telling it like it is and im sure you will always have good experiences while out.

i do find one thing curious on my mind, do the neighbor men still come by for advise or help doing chores about theyre homes.....?

and i do hope buddy the attack pug is in well enough health to watch over the palatial estate....

[ellbee]

...at 62 I think I know when I'm being patronized.

And this gentleman was quite a bit older than you...

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ead.php?245128


Do you think he knows when he's being patronized?



Anyway, I'm not saying that kind of stuff happens in any & all cases, including yours -- just that the possibility certainly exists for anyone reading this kind of stuff.

And yes, there are people out there who are genuinely cool with it all. I know some, myself. Or at least I *think* I do!


(I kid on that very last part. )

[Allisa]

Well an attack pug will lure you in with that face and then kill you with his pugness(the head tilt, the wag of the curly tail).

No mikell it seems the men? of the neighborhood don't want to catch IT. At least they don't hide anymore and do stay out when they see me, but it's dark early so maybe when the season changes? Yes Buddy the attack pug is just old but for a deaf dog he listens very well.

[Tracii G]

Laura I guess that stuff doesn't happen to you then.
Could be you are afraid to interact with people if you have ladies clothes on.
I interact with people everyday and this kind of regular stuff happen s everyday.
They don't look at you and see a guy in ladies clothes they see a friend or a customer, imagine that?

[Leslie Langford]

...They want your money. They want to keep earning a living, especially from repeat customers, who might also share positive (and negative) things via word-of-mouth. I believe there are also probably some laws in place, and they kinda-sorta don't want to get sued or receive negative media attention or anything...

We should actually wax nostalgic for the "good old days", when all we had to fear was negative word-of-mouth. These days, when somebody really wants to do a number on you, they first crucify you with a derogatory posting or an embarrassing photo on Facebook or a similar type of social media and let others share the H*ll out of it until it goes viral. At that point, your reputation - deservedly or not - is so far in the toilet that not even a master plumber can salvage it.

[lingerieLiz]

Some of it may be attitude also. I like people and will talk to any and all. Have great relationships with most all of the people I do business with. I was out this weekend with gg attire. Open chambray shirt over my white top. New pair of skinny jeans and cute booties. I figured that someone would notice the jeans since they were tight at the ankle, but no one did a double take. No wig and I'm too lazy to wear makeup.

Funny part was about the jeans. My wife bought a pair of jeans in a new brand and liked them. Said I should get a pair. So I saw a pair when we were shopping on sale. Looked at the size and didn't realize they were skinny jeans. I prefer boot cut jeans. They do hug my legs all the way down. lol

[ellbee]

Laura I guess that stuff doesn't happen to you then.
Could be you are afraid to interact with people if you have ladies clothes on.
I interact with people everyday and this kind of regular stuff happen s everyday.
They don't look at you and see a guy in ladies clothes they see a friend or a customer, imagine that?

No, Tracii. I'm simply a non-delusional realist who is well aware of any given human's capability of phoniness.

Thanks for your concern, though.

[Allisa]

Your right Laura I'm a fake, a charlatan, I get off living in a fantasy world where living as a controversial being and posting pictures of myself in a public forum in various form of "dress". End of this nonsense, Mods please close this thread it serves no purpose anymore and got off topic fast and turned somewhat ugly.

[mykell]

allisa please consider keeping this open, with the shared thread from a debbie downer this was what my take was from others who shared in that thread....

Honestly, I'm sure that's exactly what happens. But I'm willing to accept people being accepting to my face and having their joke at my expense afterward. That's really all any of us get, right? I'm perfectly willing to accept that I'm here for other people's entertainment since I consider them to all be here for mine. At various times in my life I know I've been made fun of for being left-handed, for having a Boston accent, for being a redhead -- back when I was -- I'm now made fun of for being "a Q-tip." Now I can add being transgender to the pot. I don't require unending admiration and praise, just courtesy to my face.

this could be said for a crossdresser, an ethnicity, on overweight person, any combination of any and all other varieties.

you cant know or stop someone for having a negative thought about anything, but you can stop getting your hair cut from someone who shares those thoughts with you as the next customer, i dont know if i would have showed the restraint as laurababe, i may have just walked away as we were only seconds into the interaction, we cant make anyone accept us but chastising folks who go out and share themselves for who they are is not what is in our best interest, whether a fetish dresser walking into burger king to eat lunch, or someone out to run errands or someone with a beard in a dress if we all own it and show our "selves" then we will all win in the end, will it happen overnight, never, but things are progressing, we have to give respect to receive respect, and respect is never going to become approval.

[ellbee]

Um, Lisa... I'm talking about *others*!

You know, such as my barber, per the link above.

Sheesh.