Uncomfortable with men

[Lucy Long Legs]

I don't often go out dressed but when I do, I make a real effort. I dress in a very feminine way which emphasises the way I feel about myself, and always visit a make-up artist first so I look my best. Like most of us here, I am heterosexual but I think I am a very feminine guy in many ways.
When I am dressed, I am very happy in the company of other CDs or GGs but become very uncomfortable in the presence of men. I have considered this and think it is probably because real men make me feel very inadequate - I have never been a successful lover for several reasons, one of which being because I am very small in the relevant area. This has never bothered the women I have met, unless they are looking for a stallion. Somehow with men, our self confidence has a lot to do with our size - understandable I suppose.
Anyway, I attended a CD meeting where some members of the local police attended to give a talk on safety and legal issues for CDs - there were three of them, two women and a man.
The evening progressed well but at one point I saw the male police officer looking at me with great attention. I was wearing a tight skirt just above the knee but when I sat down it rose up a little but was still completely decent. I was wearing black hose and pumps so I suppose in the right light my panties might just have been visible when my legs were uncrossed. So of course I crossed them and nothing further happened.
However, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the effect I had on him and realise that it gave me a thrill - firstly to be able to attract him and secondly that I was happy being in a submissive role in both our minds.
Nothing more will come of this, but I wanted to share my thoughts.

[Aunt Kelly]

However, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the effect I had on him and realise that it gave me a thrill - firstly to be able to attract him and secondly that I was happy being in a submissive role in both our minds.
Nothing more will come of this, but I wanted to share my thoughts.

That sounds pretty "comfortable" to me.

I am far past being able to have that effect on men, but if I thought I could, I totally would. Don't get me wrong. I am not attracted to men, but having the ability to affect them in that way seems like it would be fun, not to mention very affirming. I don't mean I'd do anything overt to invite it, but I would certainly bask in it a bit if I noticed that kind of attention.

Oh, and guy to guy? Size doesn't matter. My respect for you as a man is measured by many things, but that ain't one of them. A partner worth keeping will have the same view. You should let that go.

Hugs

[Sallee]

sounds like what women do either intentionally or not. Depends on the woman Thats been happening with all species since time began. like the song says "the woman made the preacher put his Bible down" but did she mean too or did she just look good to him

[Lorileah]

I suspect you are reading a lot more into it than really occurred. I see your fantasy creeping in there.

Since it was a talk about

safety and legal issues for CDs -

I would hope yu had his rapt attention on that issue


Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

[Tracii G]

We have had police as guest speakers at out trans group meetings too.
Very positive to have the police on our side.
The size thing don't worry about it just because a guy is hung well means nothing.

[Vickie_CDTV]

If he is straight (odds are he is, as a majority of men are), I doubt it did anything for him. I wouldn't read too much into that.

I'd be awful careful of doing that in public. Instead of a positive reaction, you could get a bad reaction from a straight man who thinks you are trying to seduce him.

[Ressie]

Short, tight skirts with nice legs is something that catches the eye. And since women rarely wear skirts now days, I think he caught a glimpse of something that he hasn't seen much of lately. Keep those knees together!

[docrobbysherry]

Lucy, much like Lorileah said, this size thing is all in your mind. Considering all the guys I've met in my life, some were studs, some were wimps, and most were somewhere in between. And, no one had any idea of what size shwantz any of them had! (Except folks that had sex with them). The confident ones KNEW THAT, too!

I'm not well endowed and I've done just fine with women and in business with men because I'm confident. My confidence arrived after I became successful, (in my mind). I was scared shitless of the pretty girls before then. After becoming confidence I dated a Playboy centerfold and married a Las Vegas showgirl!

If u act confident you'll be amazed how different folks treat u!

[Lana Mae]

Size does not matter period! Keep those legs crossed! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Just FYI, I know 2 good looking guys with big dicks. One of them gets laid constantly, the other doesn't - not for lack of effort. This tells me that it's personality which makes the difference, not the size of their dicks.

I'm neither of them, in case you're wondering.

I too feel uncomfortable in the company of most guys. Mostly they just bore me, but there's an insecurity to many which I find off putting. This insecurity often manifests as competitiveness or showing off, and one thing I hate is guys who leer at women and talk about them purely as objects.

But when I do find a man I feel comfortable with, it's wonderful. I love the feeling of brotherliness. It just doesn't happen very often.

[Periwinkle]

Most of my friends tend to be girls. In high school, I made an effort to be friends with mostly men, but it was difficult. They don't really seem to put themselves or their feelings out in the open. Often times I felt as though I was only seeing a small fraction of their personality. They'd talk about girls sometimes and I'd see some emotional response, but that never lasted long. Mostly they talked about sports and memes. And whereas memes are pretty fun, I despise talking about sports. I don't know how any of it works and it bores me to death. Luckily, no one ever talked about the size of their nether regions. I like to think that they were being considerate of my presence since mine is somewhat abnormal. The girls I associated with were much more open about who they were and what they enjoyed, and seemed like actual people. They were comfortable with themselves, so I was comfortable with them too.

[Helen_Highwater]

Perhaps your presentation was so good he was just amazed at how convincing you were. Some of us will always look like a man in a frock, some look absolutely stunning. I could imagine him going back to the police station and saying something to colleagues along the lines of, "One of those there, I tell you you'd be hard pressed to know they were male. Best pair of legs I've seen in a long time!"

As for the dick thing. I was told as a young male by those more worldly wise in these things, "If you want to pull the birds, make 'em laugh". Personality is a much greater factor in dating success.

[Shelly Preston]

I believe he saw a lovely lady and reacted they way men usually do. This does not mean he will act on those feelings. Take it as a compliment on your presentation.

[Maria 60]

When I do go for a drive dressed, I don't have any atraction to men or do I want anything to do with a man, but when I'm driving around and a man in a truck or bus shows me attention I see it almost as a sign of accepting and passing. I some times to wonder why it turns me on knowing I'm being look at as a women and receiving attention from a man. I don't want to be with a man but believe men are the judge of if we look good or not. In your case even though he was getting a eye full lookin up your skirt, he still knew you were a man under there so I'm sure it did feel good to you know he was checking you out. Well that's how I see it.

[Acastina]

I know exactly what you're talking about. It is tingle-inducing to realize that one is being objectified, however briefly or subtly, and I have gone further with it at times without regrets. There is a boundary out there somewhere beyond which it's a flirt and tease, and that can be easily misused and misread. A little goes a long way.

With regard to size, I have the opposite situation. I certainly learned how to use it in the conventional procedure, and more than one partner mentioned it approvingly, but it's not a role I ever really felt comfortable with. It's now been years since the last time, and neither my wife nor I miss conventional intercourse. We have our ways...

It's just harder to hide in girl jeans.

[sometimes_miss]

Regarding size; it's not always important. Sure, there will be some 'size queens' that won't be happy with anything less than a certain shape or size, but that's also true of men who prefer woman who are endowed with large breasts or butts. There are plenty of women out there that are quite happy with whatever shape organ the guy they love has. It's way too common for self centered men to believe that their penis is the most important thing about them. If it was, guys with small organs would have become extinct a long time ago. The typical person who is hung up on penis size, is a man, that wants to believe that all female pleasure is derived from HIS magnificient penis. When what's really huge about those guys, it their egos.

[Tina_gm]

Men tend to make me uncomfortable in general. I don't fit in all that well with the more rural macho masculine crowd, which these days I am basically surrounded by. Urban men make me less uncomfortable.

[Acastina]

Amen to that, from out here in rural macho country...

[Lori Kurtz]

What a lovely moment for you to enjoy: a man who had reason to know that were a CD apparently still found your femininity appealing.

[Lucy Long Legs]

Thank you Acastina. Those were my feelings exactly - it was a tingle.

[Julie MA]

I'm comfortable with men as long as they don't seem threatening or judging. And I love when a man, straight, gay, bi, CD or not becomes friendly or gives compliments. It's the safe acceptance that I seek when dressed.

[Stephanie Julianna]

Toward the end of your story you did not sound that uncomfortable. having men look at you in anadmiring way is very validating for your feminine side and is appreciated by both straight and "bent" crossdressers. Enjoy it for what it is.

[Sharon B.]

It doesn't matter if men are in city or country to me I just feel uncomfortable around them regardless wether I am in guy mode or dressed as a woman. I much prefer to be around women at least I know what they are talking about when it comes to fashion.
I would much prefer to be seen by women when I stepped out dressed as a woman.

[Acastina]

"It doesn't matter if men are in city or country to me I just feel uncomfortable around them regardless wether I am in guy mode or dressed as a woman."

Me too. I don't know if it's memories of feeling inadequate as a wimpy late-bloomer, having been bullied, or what, but I just don't fit in with the guys. I was in a band with four other men around my age (60s), and they and I were just, different. The attitudes, the jokes, nearly everything but the joy of making music in an ensemble was just a bit off-center for me. I quit after a year because my favorite among them, a retired doctor with a great worldview and sense of humor, died after a brief battle with cancer while the self-appointed leader got bossier and bossier. In the end, I wasn't sufficiently enthusiastic about the music we were playing to continue. And that was weird, because, if I tend to the submissive side, I shouldn't have resented his controlling tendencies; but, artistically, I felt cramped and unfulfilled.

Same with competitive golf, which I seem to have moved away from after a few years' involvement. A bunch of guys in slob shorts with hairy legs, lots of beards, lots of posturing, lots of pointless (and utterly unimpressive to me) machismo. Plenty of sexism and crude jokes; not my style, and not a way I want to spend a lot of time.

One of my issues is that a lot of women seem to be too far to the other extreme, and I don't really identify with that either. The women's golf groups, for example, long on flowers and fashion and pink golf balls and such, a little misplaced machismo (albeit with a lot of likable and inclusive camaraderie), but again a less-than-perfect fit for me.

I guess that's the androgynous/non-binary trap, feeling adrift between two boxes and not fitting comfortably within either.

Still looking for Baby Bear's porridge...

[Pumped]

Same here. Most men feel the need to be macho and make it known how tough they are. Hunt, fish, sports whatever, always a competition. I don't hunt, fish or follow sports so I get put down or get the deer in the headlights look because they can't understand why a guy would not be interested in all of the above. I do ride and wrench on motorcycles so I have that to fall back on!