I got caught!

[StephanieM]

That's one thing I hate, people assuming we're gay just because we like to dress up. I have nothing against gay people if that's your thing then "so what?" it does suck to be thought of as something you're not though.

My first wife caught me and wrote on my clothes and other things I owned. I realize it's wrong for us to hide this, but most of us are trained to think if we are to have a heterosexual relationship we must hide it. Lucky for me for current wife puts up with the fact that Stephanie is part of me. I'm really sorry you got caught and now have to deal with the fallout I've been there done it and burned the t-shirt.

[Leslie Mary S]

She needs her eyes/brain re calibrated. you look awesome.

[Michelle (Oz)]

Although I will agree most of us have sufficient life experience to recognize a 'vindictive' person when we see one.

We often are in agreement Stephanie but, on this one, there is an alternative to Judy's wife being vindictive. My wife made a number of threats (see post #72 above) when I told her my crossdressing needs/wants returned after 3+ years. She could be called 'manipulative', maybe 'vindictive' but really all she was was fraught, scared, ignorant and shattered. Her threats were about raising the stakes to make me want to understand the effect on her and to abandon my wanting to CD. It took me a few months but I understood the depth of her anguish.

Since my original discussion now 4 years ago, I have maintained an honesty about not stopping dressing. The passage of time has been a major healer. She still doesn't understand the 'why' but she accepts that I CD. Just doesn't want to participate or even see me.

Explaining actions as vindictive limits our understanding and response to the underlying fears of our SOs.