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Relationship Problems
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Hi Crystal, Welcome to our forum, When you are here you are home.
It really sounds like you have a lot of issues to sort out.
Keep us advised of how things progress......
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
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Welcome to the forum Chystra. I had a wife similar to yours but she also had many more problems such as breaking trust. It is a hard life to live with a depressed woman. This forum is good to get your thoughts out. I don't quite know what to say here. But I will listen.
Part Time Girl
Wow! Sounds like you have your hands full, but with proper focus and proper help I don't see a problem of you digging yourself out. Work on one problem at a time and you must really ask yourself some questions and answer them honestly. I'm no expert but it sounds like you have to figure out where you want to be and with who and which gender, and most of all be happy with your decision. Good luck and keep us in the loop.
Your renewed interest in dressing sounds like a classic stress response, and being unhappy in your marriage would certainly be consistent with revisiting an old flame and venturing out to that theater. The best counsel I could offer would be a real effort to get your wife to competent professional help. Untreated chronic depression can be extremely corrosive to both sides of a relationship, there are many promising treatments these days, and she needs to know that providers help people with all kinds of problems non-judgmentally and confidentially. In fact, it's a cornerstone of their professional responsibility.
One thing I don't see in your description is any indication that your being a CD has anything to do with your wife's issues. Are you out to her, DADT, or keeping a secret? That can loom large in what you're dealing with.
Welcome to CD.com, and good luck.
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Hey Crystal! I am a GG, & here are my thoughts on your situation. I think you are at a point where a serious, sincere conversation with your wife would be truly important. Tell HER how you are feeling (not necessarily where the feelings are coming from). Ask her what her feelings are. It is very possible that she is also feeling tension in the relationship & doesn't know how to express it.
During discussion, explore what each of you think are the barriers to a successful marriage & what your individual priorities are. Brainstorm possible solutions (both of you giving input) to resolve what is going on between you. You may learn things about yourselves & each other that you weren't aware of. This conversation would be best if it were held at a time / place where you could give each other your undivided attention with no interruptions.
It is unfortunate that she won't seek treatment for her depression. Although medications are not the end-all, be-all solution they can be useful to decrease the symptoms of depression (speaking from experience here - been diagnosed with Major Depression for 10 yrs). Also, trust me, continuing to engage her about what is "wrong" is NOT the most effective action to take. Most of us (I believe) just want someone to BE with us when we are deeply depressed so we know that someone supports us.
Please take my thoughts as you will. They are just that - my thoughts.
Best of luck to you & your wife.
Don't mean to be flippant or anything but I marked about 10 red flags in your post. Honestly to me it sounds like neither of you were really ready for marriage.
I felt the same way as I read that Micki.
Seems all the blame was on her at first then you can see where all the blame lies.
You deff were too immature to get married when you did.
This is a second marriage. Wow, you really need a single person therapy session program. Depression of another is not an excuse to unload, and you need to come to peace with yourself.
Often with marriage the fact that you both are struggling can be a great positive and may not mean you were too immature. Marriage is not a nirvana state, but rather an organic walking together. You need to find what is core you and then you can explore what is core us. It can be a fun journey. CD can be cake icing on the journey, so start with the cake and then discover the frosting
Last edited by Lorileah; 12-27-2016 at 01:33 PM. Reason: you don't need to quote post above yours
All my dreams pass before my eyes with curiosity
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If your wife would not be happy to talk to a doctor about her depression would she consider Cognitive Behaviour Therapy if she knew what it was? Quite often cumulative negative thoughts can result in depression and something as simple as examining where those thoughts come from and how to handle them can lead to a better outcome.
Your difficulties with the gay theatre are something else.
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