Joan Wins

[Joan.Meredith]

G'morning all,

I'm doing better this morning, I know I've given some members a bit of a scare lately. For this I'm sorry, life did through some big hurdles at me. For the last month I've been unsure if I'd have to go back into the closet due to family. Last night my wife helped make the decision for me. In a calm and amazing way she told me that our marriage is over, and I'm aloud to be my true self. There is no official timeline on this right now. She doesn't wish me any harm, and wants us all to be financially sound before it is finalized. So I'm hurt at feeling like a failure when it comes to my marriage. Yet I'm happy that I can be true myself.

I've don't think I've ever felt this level of relief EVER.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Joan, I hope that everything works out for both of you.

I really think that you should be talking to an attorney quickly to protect yourself..oo..

Keep us advised.

[Sometimes Chelsea]

I am glad to hear you are able to take some steps forward Joan. I wish you all the best on your continued journey.

[Joni T]

Your wife is leaving you and that is a "win"? Do explain, please. I've been there twice and I don't feel like I "won" any thing. In fact, I lost a helluva lot, including my house and my plans for retirement (just for the record, I'm 62 y.o.)
Jon

[CONSUELO]

I'm sure there will be lots of anxiety and upsets ahead for you, so I wish you the very best.

[IamWren]

Obviously you know your wife better than anyone here but I think Blue Orchid gives some very sound advice... get a lawyer and get one quick. I mean you used the word 'calm' and that is a word that is routinely used in front of the phrase, 'before the storm.'

I'm with Joni... I've been through it twice as well and I didn't view it as a win at all in either case and in with one of them, she literally had mental issues and still does to this day so I was glad to see her go and end that chapter of my life. But I became a weekend dad to my daughter, I lost tens of thousands of dollars, lost my mental, physical and financial stability for a few years as well as my emotional availability.

Joan, I hope that this all works out for the best for both of you.

[ronda]

I think if she is that calm she has spoken to her lawyer it would be best for you to do the same and when its all over there are no winners starting over is very hard but you can get back up and dust your self off and move forward I wish you the best remember don't look back

[bridget thronton]

Sorry your marriage is ending - hope the future is kind to you both

[Jodi]

As others have said above--retain a good lawyer NOW. You don't want to wait till you are lying in the gutter to find out what it feels like to be raped and pillaged.

jodi

[Bea A]

No one comes out of a divorce any better off.... except for the attorneys. I know... been there, done that. I wish you all the best.

[kimdl93]

Another two time loser here, echoing the advice that you get a lawyer to help minimize the losses. Joan may have won, but both you and your wife will come out with less in other respects. The best you can do is cut your losses.

As for the calm way your wife has approached this decision, bear in mind that she had to keep control in informing you of her decision. That calm may give way to a whole range of emotions in the coming months, particularly as the consequences are realized.

[Dana44]

Yep a god lawyer is something you need to get. Also if she fights you. it may not help.

[Stephanie47]

Checking you bio you have three small boys....child support looms ahead for you. Who get the house and mortgage payment? Your post can also be construed that your wife is finished trying to keep the relationship between a husband wife together, and, will now live as brother and sister.....until someone else comes along...until she hits the lottery. It seems you're of a too young age to succumb to living as two old washed up people in a marriage waiting for death to do you apart. If she and you are going to wait to be 'financially sound' you may be married forever or at least until the boys and finished with high school/college.

[Kelly DeWinter]

While I'm both sad for you and your family and to a degree some people do need to go their own way. I hope you are able to keep things together in some fashion for your children and your wife. The one thing I disagree with some of the others , is that YOU do not need a good lawyer, both you AND your wife need a good lawyer. If you both work diligently and treat each other fairly in all things you can spare the expense and emotional difficulty of a disagreement over finances and future family commitments that children and a marriage bring. Keep communications open and always take the highroad putting family first.

[chelyann]

good luck , wish you the best on this trip. try to follow Kellys advice, and it will save you head ache and heart ache.

[suzanne]

A very sad tale. I'm sorry it went that way for you. There are no winners here. But you are right to see the silver lining of freedom of self expression. Best of luck.

[Beverley Sims]

I agree with Keley here, get your heads together, find a good lawer to advise you both and don't carve it all up by fighting.
You started off together and going your separate ways you can still be friends, you have children to help stabilize you.

Don't fight over them just to score points.

[sharonsdream]

I really get a sad feeling when I hear this story. My wife is the most precious thing in my life. To lose her would be devistating.
I enjoy cding but there are things I want more. I love it when she comes down for breakfast with no top on. My favorite is holding her in the morning my arms around her with a breast in each hand. A nude walk through the pasture with her.
She is the most important thing in my life. She now allows me to wear panties and support hose. Even girl jeans. We went through a miscarriage an affair the death of our young son. But we depend on each other. To me crossdressing is not worth losing someone as precious as her so I control it, not it controlling me. My marriage is very serious business and CD is just play.
I don't mean to offend anyone but these are my thoughts. I have burned a lot of bridges in my life but that is one that I protect at all costs.

[Becky Blue]

Good to hear you are doing better Joan, of course it is sad that your marriage is over, but you have to be true to yourself.

Sharon, you call yourself a CD which for you is just play, for many girls on here it is a lot more than play. For you its not about being true to yourself and as such you can be happily married and play at CDing, many can't.

[LeannS]

Joan thinks she wins. But in reality it might be a draw or worse.
Get a lawyer if you think you can do it with one fine but keep in mind YOU have to live also will it be tough hell yea it will be.
Be true to yourself and get to know who you are.
I know how all this goes been through it 3 times

good luck

LeAnn