'Thank you, Sir' - encounter dressed up at truck stop

[Nicole_in_Texas]

The past couple nights I've gotten dressed up to go inside the store late night to run an errand. Last night the grocery store. Tonight a bite to eat fast food & a drink from the convenience store. I'm not trying to throw my voice or alter anything but my appearance. I had a red girls t shirt w my men's jeans, & ladies sandals. I had bright red lipstick to go w my shirt & blue eye liner. The clerk at the truck stop didn't flinch & after I paid she said "thank you, sir," like she probably does every other dude that checks out in her line. Oh, & I also had size c breast forms tucked into the bra underneath my shirt.

Folks usually like to swoon & post when the clerk calls us ma'am. That probably would have been cool too, but the feeling I got today was pretty cool also. She wasn't fumbling over her words. There was obviously a guy in front of her w red lipstick & tits & she casually, & not condescindingly at all, just says, "Thank you, Sir." At a truck stop no less.

[Rachelakld]

Somedays I get "Sir" (probably 30%) and other times I get Ma'am but...
reguardless everyone has been nice and so I smile and thank them back

[Jean 103]

If it’s not intentional it’s, no harm or foul. That’s how I see it. My one roommate use to address me with male pronouns without thinking. He doesn’t do it anymore. His friends mess up sometimes. I cut everyone a lot of slack. They are not use to being around someone that’s TG. Than they see I’m just like everyone else. Well not really but close LOL

[XemmaX]

Sounds like an automatic response. but yeah i cut people alot of slack i cant expect people who are not used to it to get it right immediately and all the time. mostly i find it funny unless they are doing intentionally to be an arsehole.

[Stephanie47]

Unless someone really knows you well enough how is the person suppose to address you? I would only expect the interaction to be courteous.

[natalie edwards]

A "thank you" is enough. There's no need to add "sir", ma'am" or anything else. Thank you, have a nice day, oor something along those lines is fine.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Perhaps he thought you were a woman pretending to be a man and he was trying to respect your preferred gender?

Life has got pretty confusing, who knows how to address anyone any more?

[ChristinaK]

Seems like I only get "sir'ed" when I'm dressed. Maybe they don't mean anything, but it bothers me because it doesn't seem to happen in male mode. I know it depends on where you are though.

[Stacy Darling]

I'm thinking that if you were seen by her to have such confidence, she may not have even thought about the gender thing and just said Sir, as usual!
Your confidence may also have made her feel easy with the situation. You're sure to have more situations like this.

[Beverley Sims]

If you have a DEEP voice expect that to occur frequently as the checkout person is not always making eye contact, just making sure Benjamin Franklin and not Queen Elizabeth II is on the bill you tendered.

Priorities. the product, the price, the amount tendered, the change, a pleasant interaction and exchange of pleasantries with DEEP voice.....

Oh! I forgot ..... Then check the gender.

[kimdl93]

I've been surprised over the years by the number of times I've been ma'md as opposed to the dreaded sir. Context is everything. If I'm dressed to blend and walking through a department store, I get ma'md more often than not..not that I've passed, but perhaps because my gender preference is more apparent and accepted in that context.

[rachael.davis]

Kimdl
One of the best moments of my life happened a couple of years ago, I was at my spa for waxing, and a mani/pedi it was full winter, and I was dressed very warm, but very casual.
I was leaving their shop, and saw a tiny, elderly woman trying desperately not to slip on ice in the parking lot, while not being seen by everyone walking past her. I figure it's time to cowgirl up, walk over and in as polite a voice as I can muster ask if she needs help, she says oh definitely.
I walk her to her car, start to leave, and she says Thanks, excuse me for this but I am a deaconess at an AME church (oh great condemnation in return for courtesy), and I want to say Miss that you're a finer woman than half the members of the womens group in my church.

[sharonsdream]

My guess it was a routine ending. I have made the same mistake several times on a busy Saturday working for Sears and they were GG. You can tell when it is deliberate. Had a waitress at Denneys in Tulsa that was intentional. Good service so I tipped her well.

[suzanne]

At the other end of the politeness scale, I recently got an unexpected gender inquiry. I went into one of my favorite dress shops, wearing a skirt, top and wedges. No wig, forms or makeup. I was doing my "dude in a dress" style, which I know many of you disagree with, but that's me for you. The staff there knows me well, and calls me by my male name. But while I was trying on a skirt, another customer, a woman, wanted to make a comment. But first she asked me, "Are you a man or a woman? How do you prefer to be addressed?" I hesitated. I had never been asked that question before, as I'm not trying to present as a woman and didn't think I was trying to fool anyone. Finally, I told her I'm a man and left it at that. Had I been thinking faster, I would have thanked her for her sensitivity.

[Nicole_in_Texas]

That! About 2:1 when I go in some place dressed or partially dressed I have supreme confidence. Eye contact. Conversation. Reactions are so much better.

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I'm thinking that if you were seen by her to have such confidence, she may not have even thought about the gender thing and just said Sir, as usual!
Your confidence may also have made her feel easy with the situation. You're sure to have more situations like this.

I was referring to Stacy when I said "that!" about the confidence. When I go in a place dressed I make eye contact bc I want to see reactions. Natalie & Christina are right, a simple thank you is the norm. You've got to go out of your way to say 'thank you, SIR.' And when a man has bright red lipstick & boobs you are definitely being deliberate by calling them 'sir', but like I said it was not condescinding or judgmental. It was almost like she could have said 'I like that outfit...'

[Jacqueline85]

I guess if I'm in that situation, I could just say "My title is Dr., actually." but then I would be the arsehole. Yay for non-gender-specific titles!

[Tracii G]

She saw a guy in make up and a girls t shirt so sir was the proper response was it not?

[Nicole_in_Texas]

Tracii, I think you missed the point. There was nothing wrong w her response. I thought it was a cool interaction. I am 200 lbs & have a deep voice. When I run errands like this I typically put on makeup & dress girly, but I maintain some articles of androgynous clothing for my own unique reasons. It maybe not obvious, but it's probably apparent to most people that I am a man. Normally someone, a clerk, would just say 'thank you' period, without attaching any pronoun regardless of whether they thought they were talking to a guy, girl, or a Crossdresser.

Yesterday I had on a girly red shirt, red lipstick, blue eye liner w noticeable boobs... She chose to say thank you SIR, and I thought that was cool. She could have ignored it altogether, but whether she referred to me as ma'am or sir she was acknowledging my uniqueness.

[docrobbysherry]

Good for u, Nicole! I'm continually amazed by how many here get all dithered up by being "Mammed". I'm am not.

Unless the SA's r very aware and/or well trained, what should they say when an obvious male is standing in front of them?

I have a mirror. Either I'm a man in a dress or the homeliest, masculine old lady in the country-------

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nicole, It's really hard to know what she really meant......

[Dana44]

I have been sired when I have a three day beard.. Yet, when I am made up and girly in a skirt. I get mam'd. I dont think I pass that well but most likely look like a male female.

[williamthegreat]

I agree that it was probably an auto response.