Baby Steps

[Karyn Marie]

I have been cross dressing since I was a small child, but have always kept it to myself. This past fall I finally came out to my wife who is good with my dressing and even encourages it. I am transgender and always have been for as long as I can remember. I told my wife about being transgender and that I want to start taking hormones and eventually get breast implants about a week ago, which kind of caught her off guard, although she understands and just wants me to be happy, and is very accepting. I want to start living as a female full time, and eventually have GRS surgery, which my wife is also okay with, but having a hard time understanding as she has said the man she married will no longer exist. I am really beginning to feel like I am who I am on the inside. Anyway, I underdress full time, and have shoes and booties I wear most of the time as well. I have DD breast forms and wear them all the time, but never gone out wearing my forms until this past Saturday evening It was the most liberating feeling ever. I was wearing women's jeans and a loose fitting long sweatshirt, but did not have a wig or makeup on, but having breasts was so exhilarating. We had gone to a Shari's Restaurant with another friend, who knows I cross dress, but does not know anything else. While we were there we got a bit of a scare as a person I know from my previous career (Deputy Sheriff) came into the restaurant. If he noticed my breasts, he did not say anything. I think my sweatshirt might have hidden my breasts. We spent about an hour talking with him. It was awesome, and my wife knew how good it made me feel. She did ask that I not wear them out again, unless we are going somewhere where she and I are not known. We are going to go to Seattle in the near future and I am going totally en femme. Our plans are that we are going to eventually move to Seattle where we will rent a studio apartment, and I will eventually complete my transition.

It is good to know I am getting closer and closer to becoming the person I want to be.

[sarah378619]

I am very happy for you. I can undertand how you feel since I often go out as Sarah with my fiancee. She still wants her guy too. But loves Sarah too. It is something to consider if you are totally uncomfortable with being male at all. Then I would say SRS is right for you. But really talk with your SO. It is a big step.
Sarah

[Lana Mae]

Karyn, one step at a time! Get that wig and make up going! Glad it is working out well for you! Hugs Lana Mae

[Beverley Sims]

Karyn,
The only thing I recommend is don't dress half way, if you are going to transition you need to have a sense of commitment and dress fully.

[Karyn Marie]

Beverley,

You are absolutely correct. That is what I am building up to.....My wife is very much okay with me transitioning, and is even looking forward to me doing so, she wants to ease into it, and has asked that I go slow. I am hoping to start hormones in the next few months....and going full time within a few months after that.

Karyn, one step at a time! Get that wig and make up going! Glad it is working out well for you! Hugs Lana Mae

Thank you so much Lana. I read your posts all the time, and love what you have to say. Your advice is always spot on, and this time it is no different. I have a wig coming in the mail and will post a photo when I get it. I am working to learn how to do my makeup, with a little help from my wife. Once the wig comes, my wife and I will be going to Seattle for an evening out together as girlfriends.

[Jenny22]

Karyn, no sweat shirt is going to hide DD breast forms! lol

[Karyn Marie]

You are so right Jenny LOL, but I look at myself in the mirror when wearing a baggy sweatshirt and they don't appear to protrude that much, or as much as I wish they did. I often times want to get a bigger pair, but then again, I don't want to overdo it and draw attention to myself. I only want to blend in. Oh, and my SO and I are going out again tonight after I work the first aid station at the Roller Derby (yes, I love watching the ladies skate). She asked if I was going to wear my forms again, and of course I said YES!

[grace7777]

Karyn,

I am in the process of transitioning, so I have experience in the direction you are going.

There is a big difference between being dressed fully and being dressed half way. Right now I would advise that you go out fully en femme in doing some of your daily activities. For instance you could go grocery shopping en femme. This will probably not be easy, but there is nothing easy about transitioning. you have to be prepared for the fact you may face negative comments.

I would advise you to start going to transgender support and discussion groups. Also check to see if your health plan has a transgender program. It can help in covering some of your costs, and transitioning is not cheap. To start hormones you are going to have to go to therapy.

You may find that the process of transitioning may not go as fast as you want it to go at times. I am learning the value of patience.

Grace

[Georgette_USA]

I agree you should go to some TG support/discussion groups.

Have NO idea of your physical size, but if not a large frame, a DD is a bit large. I am only 5-11 but am overweight and I am only a 46D size. Most of my friends kid me about that.

I think some time of getting fully dressed for public, get used to that and do some outings, and not just at night, before starting HRT. If you feel comfortable that way, you may than have some need to do preliminary stuff. HRT, laser and/or electrolysis, can you grow your own hair out, or will need wigs.

[jennifer0918]

I'm happy for you and wish you luck on your journey. The LEO profession is one that is not too accepting about who we our in the inside,I sometimes wonder about my future and have several more years to go

[Karyn Marie]

I am seeing a counselor and am going to see an endocrinologist, hopefully my appointment will be in the next couple of weeks to discuss HRT. I am so grateful for all your comments. You are all wonderful, and am glad to call all of you my friends. I know this is going to be a slow process and I need to be patient. How well we know that is easier said than done, when you feel different on the inside. Love to you all!