When Out, I try to steer clear of children/parents.

[Alice Torn]

When i occasionally have gone out in public, i try to not be very nearby children, or parnents with them. My first experience was in Seattle, in 2005, on my very first full day out and about, in a short black and white sleeveless dress, navy hose, and black patent high heels, but a short, no very good wig. I lived near Seattle, back then. I parked my old Dodge at a small park, and strutted around for about 40 minutes. Then a car with a dad, and his kids parked right next to mine. I hesitated a long while, before, finally deciding, to "just face the music", and go get in my car and leave. When i got there, the father reluctantly asked me, as his only hope, to jump start his dead battery!! He also told his kids, don't look!" I gladly gave him a jump, was quiet, and his car started ok, and he thanked me, and he left. I have seldom been around young children, except for outdoor summer classical concerts in the park, in a university town, 40 miles from me. I just sit and watch and listen to the orchestra, and clap after the songs or pieces. No problem yet. Never went to the washrooms yet. I saw where some schools, or many, are teaching children here, that TG is cool, and have even let real DRAG QUEENS visit classes and read, sing, and dance for the children. These are NOT crossdressers, but real drag queens, in over the top wigs, make up, and over the top clothing. Not at all like a blending, crossdresser, that is dressed in everyday womens' outfits, and wigs and make up. I , myself, really make an effort to give children, and or families with children, a wide berth. I try to be as much like a very tall lady, as possible, and not cause a stir, or scene. Last year, i went to a drug store before one of the concerts, and bought some batteries for my camera. As i went to the cashier, i notices a mom, with a child, and she did not look, very pleased at me. I tend to thionk that having real drag queens visiting children's classes can give a false impression of regular non over the top crossdressers. Just me.

[Nikki A.]

I used to feel the same the same as you. Now that I've been out more and more (and I feel that I'm doing better in presentation) I don't shy away anymore.
A funny thing is that at the church I go to there is a really adorable little girl that I always talk to. When I'm dressed she high fives me and talks to me, in drab she shies away.

[Aunt Kelly]

So drag queens are cool, but not real. And real people, who just happen to be TG, are not cool. And we avoid demonstrating otherwise, because...?
What am I missing here?

[JenniferYager]

So women normally wave to little kids. I find when I do that, people treat me like I'm a lady.

[RADER]

There is nothing worse than a pre-teen Girl; They seem to have a hidden radar to spot us a long way off.
I do not know how it works, but they will spot the best of us every time.
I would stay far away from them all the time.
Rader

[Alice Torn]

Wow. Nikki!. Some churches would never allow me in dressed as a woman!

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Radar, Yes! I was clocked by teenagers that same day earlier, and heard a loud, "OMG!"

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Not a bad idea JY. Or a little smile.

[Lorileah]

I interact with people as any person would. In my job I see all sorts of people and I often work near the check out lanes. I wave at little children all the time. The little boys of about 6 to 8 years look confused sometimes but they don't run and hide. About 90% of the people I meet don't give a second glance. The rest have different reactions from a knowing smile to a disgusted sneer. The last hurts but then again, it would hurt no matter how I looked.

But just to address your OP. You mentioned a bad wig. OK maybe that was your tell. But you don't say what time of day it was. Short dress, hose that weren't the same color or nude and patent shoes. Daytime: Maybe more over dressed than normal for the area? Evening...mall...still over dressed but maybe more suitable. And you said "strutted" around. Were you just wandering? Look like you had a purpose? Could your actions have been considered suspicious (no matter what you wore)? The man had a dead battery, I assume it wasn't dead when he parked. So there was some time involved.

Just little things that can add up to people making a judgement

[sometimes_miss]

and have even let real DRAG QUEENS visit classes and read, sing, and dance for the children. These are NOT crossdressers

Well, yeah, they kind of are. We all are. To what style, well, that's up to the individual. Some like to wear a simple top and capri pants with flats. Others, glamourous, sexy clothes. It takes all kinds to make a world. After all, what defines 'over the top' will vary, depending who's doing the defining. Plenty of women dress sexy in public, so drag queens, and folks that dress up to the extent which they do, are no different. Both push the envelope as far as fashion will go.

If we're going to get the world to be tolerent of what people wish to wear and present themselves as, we're going to have to accept everyone, even those who we don't think are 'appropriate'. For a crossdresser to say a drag queen doesn't represent 'regular' crossdressers, well, why not? They are crossdressing, too.

As far as blending, the vast majority of people here who think they are blending or being unnoticed, have their heads firmly stuck in the big pink clouds. Very, very few of us can actually pass. You're being clocked, folks, it's just that fewer and fewer people care, they've got their own lives to live. KIDS, OTOH, will happily point out anything that they think odd or different. If you can't pass the 'kid' test, you're not passing the adult one, either.

[Rachelakld]

I love children & parents, as a CDer they tend to be more curious than nasty, and my girl side is more extrovert, so she loves chatting to people.

Best time ever - "family day" at the observation deck in our tallest tower, I tried really hard to get the kids to stand on the glass flooring and seeing me on it (in heels and dancing) gave a lot of kids the courage to follow, with their parents smiling encouragement to their young ones.

On a interisland ferry a 6 year old with her mum asked her mother "why is that man dressed as a girl?" mum looked horrified when I turned, but I smiled to the mum and girl, bent down to my knees so I was the same height as her and explained that god gave me a really good mans body, but also gave me a girls brain - girl and mum seemed happy with the explination.
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[Alice Torn]

Lorileah, It was afternoon. on a Sunday. It was my very first time out in daytime. In 2005. I have better wigs now. I was damned nervous, to be honest, but i guess looked a little awkward, and suspicious. But, most folks did not seem bothered, except, i was laughed at , at a fast food drive through, as i was leaving. I have learned a lot since then. I also live in the conservative midwest small town now. I just try to be "THAT SUPER TALL LADY" WHEN OUT NOW. iF READ, I JUST LAUGH IT OFF. I do not overdo it around children or families. Just thought i would share.

[Sometimes Steffi]

There is nothing worse than a pre-teen Girl; They seem to have a hidden radar to spot us a long way off.
I do not know how it works, but they will spot the best of us every time.
I would stay far away from them all the time.
Rader

I'm no expert, but I don't think pre-teen and teen girls have a special radar.

They just don't have a filter on what they say, unlike (some) adults.

That's why the expression, "From the mouths of babes."

[Jenna Stunned]

On a interisland ferry a 6 year old with her mum asked her mother "why is that man dressed as a girl?" mum looked horrified when I turned, but I smiled to the mum and girl, bent down to my knees so I was the same height as her and explained that god gave me a really good mans body, but also gave me a girls brain - girl and mum seemed happy with the explination.
]

OMG! Brilliant response! I hope you dont mind but I am using that should the need arise. Very well played.


The only time I went in to a store, There was a little girl running around having fun. I was mortified any time she was near me that something would be said. Thankfully nothing was, But it sure did make me feel nervous. I sure did get a funny look from an older lady that was holding the door for me as I was leaving though.

[Beverley Sims]

Rachael,
and they still let you off the ferry at Picton? :-)

I still try and not be around shopping centres at school break .. about 3:45.

[Princess Chantal]

I tend to thionk that having real drag queens visiting children's classes can give a false impression of regular non over the top crossdressers. Just me.

Yes, they tend to give the false impression of a regular non over top crossdressers - In the 15+ years of being a part of the tg community, I haven't ever come across a "regular non over the top crossdresser" taking on a mission to help educate children. Geez it is even rare to see a "regular non over the top crossdresser" heading up or even participating in a charitable mission. I believe a drag queen reading to children does more positive for the crossdressing community than the non over top crossdresser trying their damnest to avoid interacting with children whether cause they are worried of being clocked or cause they are assuming the parents have the mindset that stereotypes crossdressers as doing it for sexual purposes

[Stephanie47]

I do agree a drag queen reading stories to children is better than nothing at all, but, they are not truly representative of the issues. In my school district those issues are being raised on a peer group level. I think a lot of kids will make the correlation when educated that little transgender boys and girls do grow up to be transgender men and women. Basically, knock out the ignorance in the early years. Of course, there are institutions and persons who will do their best to foster ignorance. And, unfortunately many show their intolerance is verbal and non verbal communication.

I really feel for transgender men and women who have to endure ignorance every day. As a plain vanilla cross dresser I can pick and choose where, when and how I want to present as a woman. I think all people, not just cross dressers, tend to want to stay within their self imposed comfort zones.

[Alice B]

Once I had been out in the general population for the first time I quickly came to the decision that it does not matter what those that see me say. Even children. Perhaps it is a learning experience for them and broadens their horizon. Of course their parents will have a major influence on how they react to me. But, I will never see them again, unless they are family.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have been doing this a long time, and one of the things I was told from the beginning was to try and avoid strangers' children... if it is practical. I still adhere to that advice. I certainly avoid the womens room if there are minors in there. Certainly not saying others must, but I won't personally, that is my hard limit.

Maybe it is a NY/northeast thing, but men here don't normally speak or interact with strangers' children (unless they are working in a store and they need help, etc., or the parent introduces them first)

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Alice, glad you're back.

I avoid kids simply because I'm a curmudgeon. If everyone was like me the human race would have died out long ago. Certainly I avoid them- but not because I like to wear women's clothing, just because they irritate me and they spread colds.

I like dogs though. But not puppies.

Hugs, Nikki

[Alice Torn]

I don't believe in pushing any movement on little children.

[TrishaTX]

Personally , I also avoid children, no parent should have to explain my situation to them. Yes I am different sorry but I am although they are seeing more of "us" around. That said , if I am coming out of a hotel to go to a party etc i walk past because there is nothing I can do.

[Aunt Kelly]

Personally , I also avoid children, no parent should have to explain my situation to them.

Respectfully, I disagree. There is nothing about our "situation" that any decent parent should be afraid or ill-equipped to explain. Not that the number of fearful and ill-equipped parents out there isn't huge, but how is it that their shortcomings are our responsibility?

[Ceera]

I suppose it depends a lot on how well one can pass or blend.

Kids and teens often have no filters on what they say. If they see something odd, they often will speak out about it.

I do not let it bother me. I can pass well enough to walk through a crowd of moms and kids doing back to school mall shopping, and not get a second glance from them. I have a feminine voice and attitude when en-femme, and I do not hesitate to talk to anyone. I've had two teenage girls definitely clock me when I rushed into a ladies' room at a mall store, and had them greet me on the way out with, "We love you!" I've had a ten year old or so boy ask me, "Are you a guy or a Lady? My mom says you're a lady..." And I confidently replied, "Your mom is right. I'm a lady." He seemed uncertain, and said, "But you're so tall, and your voice is kinda low." And I just smiled and replied, "Some women are."

When I am en-femme, I am simply being my female self - and not 'pretending' to be a girl. I'm perfectly comfortable with who I am and my right to be there and doing as I please. That attitude shows in how I act, and people pick up on it.