Here I go again ?

[Renee Demarea]

Here is a Update, its only been 2 yrs my Late Wife ended up to be accepting and for a year and a half we had a lot of fun together. Shopping Dressing etc. But she was taken from me with Cancer fast. We talk every thing over at length for me to move on. And believe it or not just two weeks after I found My present GF of 1yr 8 mo now. She has found out about my past CD and doesnt like or understand it at all , and thinks I may be Gay or Bi , never have and never will , and have not Dressed since I meet Her . I have began to wonder if we will ever find common ground , We have lived together 1 yr and 7 mo. and she stays at Home . She knows but does not believe any thing about CD ......... HELP

[Alice B]

This is one that only you can answer. If you want to dress you will have to make this known to her and decide if she stays, goes or you no longer dress. Good luck with this one.

[Stephanie47]

First, my sympathies to you on the loss of your wife. Second, you know there are women who are accepting of cross dressing. There are others who probably will let you enjoy your cross dressing without participating. And, then there are those who are neither. Sounds like your girl friend falls into that category. Frankly, I would rather enter my retirement years (your 63) alone and happy rather than together with someone and be miserable. My wife is a one year breast cancer survivor right now. Forty-six years married. It's DADT with her which is fine with me. If she were to pass on I would rather enjoy my remaining time on earth happy rather than hiding myself from a new woman, married or not.

[Joyce Swindell]

When I met my current wife I didn't want the situation you are in now. So after getting more comfortable with her and seeing it was a good relationship that we were building I let her know about "Joyce" before it had gotten more serious. It has been 8 years and all is well.

However, your situation is much different I know. Once attached it is much harder to figure out. Bottom line is if she can bend a little and you can bend a little it may work. If one or the other is not "bendable" on the subject/lifestyle then it's time to cut loose the relationship....because the relationship has to be worth the compromise.

Joyce

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Renee,

How did she find out? It doesn't sound like you told her.

Have you read the many threads here on the subject of how to tell your partner? Never too late to add to your knowledge by reading how others have handled things.

How much do you love her? If she judges you, how does that make you feel about her? You say you no longer dress since you've been with her- and if you're posting here, it seems that's very hard for you- believe me, we all understand how that feels.

My advice right now is to tell us your whole story, from your earliest experiences. Doing so will help you see the big picture, and might help us know how to respond to you. Also, keep reading how others deal with similar situations - because you are not alone.

You could set yourself a goal of looking ahead say 1 month, before you try again to talk to your partner about it. During that month try to learn as much as possible about where you're at, and how you might move forward. Nobody here has anything but sympathy.

Hugs, Nikki

[StephanieJ]

I'm so sorry, that seems like an impossible situation.

One one hand, I'm sure you care about her and want to give her space to come to acceptance on her own terms.

On the other hand, if she is set in her ways, you could be in for a lot of misery.

Moral of the story is to come out early!! I'm not really interested in dating girls, but my friends and family seems to think I should be and constantly try to set me up... My rule is that we talk about it by the 3rd date. If she is not accepting (and very few are) then we just stay friends.

[Cherylgyno]

Stephanie says it best in my opinion. My wife has known and been supportive since day one. I am wearing panties, and hold up nylons every day, I have to wear a bra. My jeans are now all women's jeans. This is every day, I couldn't give up any of my clothes.
In the end you are the only person that can make the call.

[AllieSF]

Here is your opportunity to be honest with yourself first. If this is you, even if only part time, then you need to own it and state that this is who you are and will not change, period. She is the one with the issue, not you. If you make her issue (not accepting you as a CD) yours (giving in sometimes or many times, when you do not want to) then you cannot blame her, only yourself for your future frustrations and grief. By being honest about how you are then she can make the decision to stay and learn to live with it or leave letting both of you live in peace from that issue.

It will not be easy but you can easily see the future now and now is the time to do something about it that will be good for both of you. I wish you the best of luck.

[Jackiefl]

if you settle for less than you want, you will get less than you deserve!

[kimdl93]

IMHO, there is little likelihood that she will ever change her opinion. She might try to suppress the disapproval, but most likely not. And if she did, she'd be doing herself harm.

Its not a "fault" to be unaccepting of CDing. Its perhaps more common than those who do. But its a deal breaker if you want to express this part of your life without imposing any burden on your partner.

[Dana44]

I would say that if she does not come around and let you crossdress, I would search until you ad one that supports an loves you. I had to go though many women in my life and was happy in a couple relationships. but now with a girl who loves me dearly and no problems cross-dressing It is far better that way and talk to here and let her know about yourself and she may come around. But you have to be honest about yourself. .

[mykell]

if you settle for less than you want, you will get less than you deserve!

you mentioned how quickly your wife was taken from you,
now if and when your time comes woudnt you want to live out whats left on your terms

talk it out and see if their is a amicable solution, if not you may have some hard truths to be made,

good luck with the task at hand....

[Tracy Irving]

You only get to take this ride once. Don't look back with regrets about what could have been. Do what feels right. Do what makes YOU happy.

[rian]

In order to enjoy your crossdressing then you have to find a way with her ,,,try different approaches to convince her and give her clues to see really who you are ...