CD's: Are you shy and reserved?

[Julie Avery]

A remark by Ajax on the "I revealed myself to a girl" thread caught my attention: "I'm usually a reserved and introverted guy."

This has always been painfully true of me, especially with women. I suppose I had my share of torrid adolescent romances, but I know that the agony I suffered in bringing myself to ask for that first date with any particular girl was way beyond the ordinary.

To this day I tend to be a wallflower in all but the most intimate gatherings.

I'm wondering if this is something common to many crossdressers, or if it's just coincidental that I've got the shy thing and the CD thing going in one body? A penny for your thoughts!

[Jennaie]

I'm shy with women as well. I seem to get a better responce with them if I take on my female personality with them even if I am in drab. They seem to respond better to me. I don't know if that is going to win any points or not, but at least it always seems to make them more comfortable talking to me.

[Genevieve G]

I'm more open with women because I feel I fit in more. My spouse had a euchre party here about a month ago & since they were one person short, I volunteered to sit in. I wasn't dressed, obviously, but I really enjoyed the conversations. I couldn't really partake in the "my favorite penis size," conversation, but I think I held my own. That was one of the few times I felt like I was "in my element." In any situation where there are just guys present, then I really don't relate too well. I like baseball & some other guy stuff, but I'd rather talk makeup, etc.

Most of the time, however, I come across as introverted, which is really not my personality. A lifetime of sadness will do that to a person, though.

[sparks]

OMG I'm shy all the time! Untill you notice my eyes moving quickly from side to side, than you know I'm just paranoid!
Seriously I hate crowds but luv gatherings.
I'm a wallflower and probably always remain that way. I often wondered if I was to go out in my femme clothes if I would be a partyer or shrink into the cracks.
My wife is always trying to get me to say more when we go out with friends.
But is it really good to blurt out "I think she has Front fastening Bra on!"
I often think that I am introvert because I cross-dress.

Food for thought

[Alexandria]

Kind of a hard subject. I know I used to be very shy with women. But I started opening up, trying new things, and carefully exposing little "secrets" about myself. I started crossdressing last year and found that I have much support.

So over the course of a year I became from a very shy, conservative guy and extremly introverted and became someone whom most of his friends are female. I think much of it has to do with me opening up my feminine self.

[Jillian_Faith]

I can relate to this issue. I do not stand out in a crowd and I always seem to gravitate to peer relationships with women. I've never been into macho - "Look at Me" type of things. I don't know if one of the things that dispose me to CD is related to this or if I am this way because I CD? It could also be that there is no direct relationship. Now that I have that all cleared up next the purpose of life...

[Nikki Dee]

No great difference for me...I've always been pretty extrovert as a guy...and I'm just the same as Nikki...I am very comfortable in the company of women..they have always seemed to play such a big part in my life....and being Nikki feels just a natural extension of that.
Love Nikki. x

[Wenda]

I was painfully shy as a child, started to shed it in highschool, and put it behind me altogether in university. I was in my second year of university before I had a real date. I get along well with women, and have many very good female friends. Since I started dressing, July 03, I have taken more notice of hair, clothing, gloves and especially shoes. As long as you are not spooky about it, women appreciate that you notice.

[Alexandria]

I was painfully shy as a child, started to shed it in highschool, and put it behind me altogether in university. I was in my second year of university before I had a real date. I get along well with women, and have many very good female friends. Since I started dressing, July 03, I have taken more notice of hair, clothing, gloves and especially shoes. As long as you are not spooky about it, women appreciate that you notice.

That's been almost my case too. Things kinda changed when I started college. Girls tend to be appreciative if you remark on how well they look or even things such as shopping (my friends love going shopping with me ).

While I still am a bit introverted (you won't see me using the phone), I am more open .

[Sharon B.]

I am shy as they come but love to be around people.
I do think if I could come out of the closet and dress around people the way I like to relax I would be more open.

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Julie

You know, I used to be terribly shy, used to be scared of my own shadow. Since I came out of the closet and started going out dressed I'm the complete opposite now, I'm very outgoing and enjoy interacting with people. Everyone who knows me says they just love the difference, it's like they never knew me.

Karen

[Wendy me]

ok can we talk ?? i might try to get away with saying i am shy ....ok but don't tell any one truth is in eather fem or "him" mode i am realy not shy at all ... in fact you just might call me a real people person ...and i might even be called a little too chatty ...but just don't tell anyone all the girls here think i am shy.....

[ReginaK]

I'm about as shy and reserved as one can get. I'm never the approacher. Always the approachee.

[Rachel Morley]

I'm wondering if this is something common to many crossdressers, or if it's just coincidental that I've got the shy thing and the CD thing going in one body?

Common to crossdessers....hummm....I would have though that it depends on what sort of cder you are. Some of the girls on this forum seem pretty outward going to me, both in girl, and guy mode.

I wouldn't exactly call myself shy but I would say I tend to be a quiet sort of person, and when I'm dressed I tend to be even more so....althought that might be because of me feeling happy, contented, and more peaceful when wearing feminine things rather than having anything to do with being shy.

So to answer your question..do I think it's common to most cders?...maybe.... but not as much as you might think.

Just my 0.02

[Julie Avery]

ok can we talk ?? i might try to get away with saying i am shy ....ok but don't tell any one truth is in eather fem or "him" mode i am realy not shy at all ... in fact you just might call me a real people person ...and i might even be called a little too chatty ...but just don't tell anyone all the girls here think i am shy.....

I'm mighty chatty on the internet, and in person once I'm comfortable with the company I'm in, but in some ways I think my internet chattiness is an overcompensation for the reserve I feel when I'm, say, at a wedding where I'm mixed in with people I know and people I don't. I guess the shyness is an unusually strong fear of eliciting disapproval, or a fear that if I open up I'll meet with disapproval. It (obviously ) only happens to me in 3d, not on the web.

It has diminished over the years, but is still with me.

[Gale R]

Hi girls, i have always been more comfortable in the company of women , could never get on with the posturing guys where i live, mining valleys of Wales,the macho cr*p they'd come out with in a feeble attempt to prove they are men was more than i could stomach.
But saying that there were some real b*tches among the girls, suppose you can't win all ways.:winking:

Hugs, Gale.

[Julie York]

I couldn't really partake in the "my favorite penis size," conversation, but I think I held my own. .

And the award for quote of the week goes too......






I am actually shy.

or am I?

I can't remember now.

[Bridget]

I wouldn't consider myself shy, but i am not an extrovert. I open myself up a lot to my friends, but leave people i don't really know alone.

Perhaps that is shy, I'm not good at catergorising myself as anything. :\

[Sonia_cd]

Julie...honey...thank you for starting this thread!!!

I'm terribly shy with women and quite introverted. No problems talking with them and flirting with them, but when it comes to the crunch and asking for that date....no one can save yours truly from drowning!!

I just think though, that once I do manage to get out and about dressed, Sonia might be completely different to the male persona!

Take care,
Sonia

[Julie Avery]

(snipped)
I just think though, that once I do manage to get out and about dressed, Sonia might be completely different to the male persona!

Take care,
Sonia

Hiya Sonia. I dunno about that. I think the same shyness we experience in our genetically given bodies also makes us more afraid to go out en femme, than extroverts would be, and I'm not sure that's a bad thing, if you're not mega-passable.

Just my 2 cents, passing the time of day.

[sparks]

Mega-passable put hose over your head and you'll see my legs!

[Sonia_cd]

Hey Julie. You may have a point, considering you have far more experience than I do. Testing my proposition however, can only happen once I leave this country and find a transformation service. Lets exchange notes then?

Love,
Sonia

[Teresa Amina]

You bet I was shy as a kid- in good ol' USA if you're not into football, nascar, etc. there's not much to talk about with the average Joe. But somewhere along the way I got past this and now I can walk right up to people and ask them something. Heck, I can even come on here and express my "other" side.
But when you're just keybording the real time stress of dealing with people is gone.

[Julie Avery]

Hey Julie. You may have a point, considering you have far more experience than I do. Testing my proposition however, can only happen once I leave this country and find a transformation service. Lets exchange notes then?

Love,
Sonia

I really have no experience at all except being out en femme except a little gender-bending.

I pluck the brows, grow the nails, shave the legs, show all that in public, and only fully dress in the privacy of my own home.

Be well, girl!

[Stormgirl]

I am shy at first until I get to know you then I open up a bit. I am always reserved around women,after all the women that have hurt me I have learned to build high walls around myself. I can't trust them.