Aubrey, your profile pic is to die for
Aubrey, your profile pic is to die for
"Inside of every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened."
"The best thing about the MBasic that comes with the Kaypro is that it allows variable names longer than two characters."
I wouldn't suggest building walls around yourself. Both men and women alike can be cruel and I've been hurt many times myself. But I haven't lost faith in women at all...otherwise I wouldn't want to be oneOriginally Posted by Aubrey
[SIZE=3]I may or may not appear shy in these forums, but in real life i am. I can say whatever i want to here and not worry about it. Get up face to face is a different issue though. [/SIZE]
Shy? Hmmm. Reserved? HMMMM! Painfully!
I fit into both categories. As a kid I was teased mercilessly by classmates because I was different. I wasnt into sports or pop music or any of the other stuff the others were. They like all kids find a target and beat on it. I was the one they chose. So, I learned to distance myself so I couldnt be hurt.
I always managed to associate with females more easily than men. This is still true today although the old barriers are still there. I have maybe one or two good friends but even there they dont know everything nor will I likely ever tell them.
I have one good friend I met on the net about ten years ago who does know it all and she has stuck beside me through thick and thin and vice versa.
I am more open here than probably anywhere else about everything. Only Ana and my pdoc have more openness in my life. Before someone goes off about "What about your wife?" let me say that although I love her there are some things she cannot and will not accept and my gender issues are part of that. When we do discuss them on the extremely rare occasion it ends up with me in tears so I avoid the subject altogether. This is an area I am working through.
In a normal social setting I am very withdrawn unless I know people very well. It isnt enough for me to relax even if I have met them before. What can I talk about with the men? Art? Being TG? I have no interest in sports, (okay I'll admit to being a Juventas fan) but that is about it. I quit hunting when I was young, hated fishing etc. My Liberal politics go against the grain of most of mine and my wifes "friends" so I avoid that subject too. Geesh, most of them have no idea who John McLaughlin, Al Dimeola, The Yellowjackets or even who Charlie Parker was. That pretty much rules out music as a subject.
The truth is that I have very little in common with many people so rather than expose myself I withdraw. It's just the way I am. It is easier to listen than look like a fool I guess.
Kimberley.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
www.transgenderlondon.com
Venus and Mars are not aligned; Good thing.
Where are all the rumballs?
I may not soar with eagles, but then weasels dont get sucked into jet engines...
hey the trick is to be a cute wallflower. then you wont be a wallflower very long. and follow your passion and desire
you can be sarcastic as long as you smile
I seem to be a puzzle to everyone, includeing myself! I am VERY shy in groups.
I can talk with anyone, about anything, in a one on one conversation as long as it isn't about me.
As you stated: "To this day I tend to be a wallflower in all but the most intimate gatherings." I don't do too badly in small, 2 or 3, groups of people though.
I find it very hard to open up about my inner self with anyone. Includeing my shrink. I just initiated the proccess last Friday of contacting a "sex therapist" to discuss my inner conflicts. (She was not in her office so I left her my contact information.)
Lisa
Kimberly, I fall into similar lines. I've never been a big sports fan, although I do watch major games occationally. Most male activities I usually stray from (well except for maintaining my car).
Similarly I tend to associate with females more often than guys. Sharing outfit ideas and fashion tips, usually talking through with them in their relationship struggles.
Unfortunatly I do admit this comes at a price. The "Just a friend" syndrome. That is all my female friends think I am adorable and charming, but I just am not "good enough" to get into a relationship with. I know I will find a companion someday, but life is a growing experience.
I'm quiet and reserved for the most part. I used to be painfully shy as a teen, but it has gotten better over the years. I have always had a good rapport with women probably because I enjoy some things that they do. I have never been a macho guy anyway.
GENNEE
I'm getting better with age. I may have started late, but better late than never!
"Don't let anyone define who you are".
I'm with Gale (#16 above) and Teresa (#24 above). Terribly shy - always have been. I probably always will be. I hate parties, and spectator sports.
My wife is probably my wife only because she insisted on eating dinner with me at a two-place table in the college cafeteria one evening when I was sick, and I had purposefully elected to sit alone. What can I say?
Recent life events have forced me to take a sales job. Very stressful for a shy person. Call reluctance is eating me alive. However, I have noticed that women are more approachable than men - or at least less likely to try to forcibly evict me from their businesses.
Hugs,
Bernice
There have been reports from time to time that shyness and t* are correlated. In my own case, I was extremely shy and my shyness with women was even more profound. To illustrate, between 13 and 30, with the exception of one girl in Spanish class in high school who adopted me as a friend, I probably had less than 5 minutes total conversations with women who were not related.
Sometimes, I've speculated that t* is a way of getting the feminine into one's life when shyness or circumstance deprives one of sufficient interaction with women. All that said, the pshrink I was seeing was unwilling to give the hypothesis any weight. For her, it was just "it is what it is" and attempts at explanation didn't seem productive. On the latter point, I've found it striking how often people who were going through divorces, splitups, etc. with the women in their lives have become crossdressers sometimes even advancing to ts and srs. On the net, except for those with whom one becomes friends, it's hard to tell for how many this is a transient condition and how many for whom it's ongoing.
Last edited by livy_m_b; 03-12-2006 at 06:57 AM.
When I was younger, I was painfully shy around women. I guess it was due to a lack of self-confidence, that I would be rejected as something less than their expectations. My wife doesn't believe me when I tell her that I could count all my dates in high school on one hand, and still have a digit or two left over. I began to come out of the shell as I matured, but I still have times when I just want to hide away again. Old habits. I'm not shy like I used to be, but I still have my moments.
Any money found in the laundry is MINE!
"This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"
www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/
I completly understand where your coming from!
I can count all the dates I had since High School on my hand...oh wait there's none
I've matured since then and have many female friends that I hang out with - but I understand about the feelings of just wanting to hide away...often confusing people when I disappear from their radar completly. Usually it comes at times after I am actually rejected that causes me just to hide from public, and being a CD I tend to get that a lot.
Last edited by Alexandria; 03-12-2006 at 10:12 AM.
No I think it's a personal thing.
I've been in radio and TV Stations and have done DJing at parties, weddings etc. In my early years I even did the picture taking at weddings for money to support my family. I'm a musician, and play on stages. Also so many other venues to much to mention here. So No, I'm not shy by any means.
Haley P. Kemp
Not shy at all, else I wouldn't be going out in pulic solo, shopping, dinner, movies!!!
Love Karren
I have always been pretty shy and reserved in general and that has stayed pretty much the same from when I was younger. I do go out with my co-workers for lunch during work every now and then and socialize a little bit with some of my co-workers but generally I'm more of "a fly on the wall" than a "social butterfly." I WOULD like to be more part of the group at work if I could but I really can't find much that I have in common with most of my co-workers and other groups of people that I hang around with to talk about. I generally feel acknowledged by my co-workers in terms of my presence but I generally don't feel drawn into any kind of sustained conversation with them, although I have started to develop some promising friendships with a few other co-workers since I've been working the night shift two nights a week. I actually tend to enjoy hanging out with people on a "one-on-one" basis moreso than in a larger group, though, so it doesn't really bother me THAT much. As long as I've got my wife/family and a few GOOD friends to socialize with on an occasional basis, I feel content.
Relate
I tend to have mixed feelings about women because some like shy and some like strong type of personality but in the most part I like to listen and learn and give my opinion if they ask.Crossdressing for me is a release of alot of stress that causes me to be shy and reserved.
I'm not sure that there's a link between introversion and CDing. (For what it's worth being introverted doesn't necessary mean being shy -- it's more "I'm OK, you're OK -- in small doses.")
But I think that since women are given more permission to be "social butterflys" that's one attraction to CDs who are socially awkwards in male mode. Certainly one thing I've envied about women is the way they can strike up a conversation even though they've never met. (Of course, their conversation may not be any deeper than guys talking football...) It's also easier to play the extrovert if you "not yourself" whether that's being crossdressed or being an actor playing a role. (A surprising number of actors are actually introverts.) That's because it things don't work out as planned it's your persona that takes the blow not the "real you."
I've actually used my feminine persona as a way to practice being more outgoing -- and it's helped me in male mode.
Lena
A dream? What is a dream, but a blueprint for courageous action.
http://www.adahlshouse.com
Well I don't know about a penny for my thoughts but I can give you a Penny's thoughts. The few times I have been stopped by the police for traffic violations, I noticed that I was shy and rather reserved. At one point in my life if I would have been dressed fem, I they would have had to have
knocked on the trunk to see my drivers license. Now I think I would just be
shy and reserved. So this thread will not go platinum; I'm no sure if it even rates 2 cents worth
"Lady Fingers"
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