Do you ever surprise yourself?

[Becky Blue]

Just when I think i have myself worked out then something happens that surprises me. I am beginning to think that maybe the concept that men never understand women maybe very accurate, perhaps I simply don't understand Becky

So now onto what happened today... bit of background I am mostly an all or nothing girl, I like to dress properly and go out whenever possible. Given a number of factors working against this means it doesn't happen nearly as often as I would like to, but that my choice i guess. I consider myself genderfluid so often feel very femm inside and don't necessarily need to dress to feel that way. On occasion I will get the urge to underdress in some pretty panties to feel 'connected with my inner girl'.

Today I was working from home in an empty house (this happens from time to time) and I suddenly got this strong urge to dress, i slipped on a bra and panties (I have a very small stash hidden safely) and borrowed a very pretty dress of my wife's. I sat working for about an hour, feeling very relaxed and at peace and then changed back. Although I probably work from home in an empty house around 4 - 6 times a month, I hardly ever dress as I can't do makeup etc and as I said I am usually an all or nothing Gal..

I have no idea why I got this sudden urge today but I certainly enjoyed it and definitely surprised myself. Do you ever surprise yourself?

[Kiwi Primrose]

I'm often surprised that my desire to dress still thrills me after so many years and on odd occasions when I can't dress I get edgy.
And can I recommend that you get your own dresses. Or at least ask to borrow your wife's.

[Chancey289]

When I finally came to terms with my more feminine side and started dressing, I was surprised how well I did it. I never was all that manly, but I'm glad my more androgynous looks lends itself well to looking so pretty when I dress because not only is this a part of me coming out, but I kinda have this thing where I have to do it right. Dressing up like a girl is like an art at times, if I will do it, I will become a girl. Sabrina and Chance are different, and she deserves to shine bright in her own right.

If this makes any sense. Whether or not it runs deeper remains to be seen. Still on a journey of self discovery.

[Rowan Ailbhe]

Constantly....R. was a little freaked out at how fast I caught on to makeup application. (selecting it still baffles me...I love shopping for it though...especially just off work in my grotty shipyard clothes...nothing so much fun as shocking the muggles...)
I was really suprised I made it through the grocery store on five inch heels without busting my butt....I am almost six five in those, and rail thin...and I tend to move with purpose....ever been shocked to be upright?

[deebra]

Becky my answer is YES and NO. I too wondered why this sudden compelling desire and need to dress in something feminine comes into your mind and you really, really need to do it; like thirst and getting a drink of water satisfies. The NO answer is it's happened to me so much over the years I am now use to it and just go dress; it takes care of my thirst to be feminine. Some may call it the pink fog. Being a CD and part of your brain is female just like GG's and when you can't be feminine all the time or as much as you want the lioness goes crazy in the cage and has to be let out to experience herself and then she can calm down. Isn't it amazing what putting on a bra and panties can do to calm and satisfy this compulsion. If you are a true CD part of you is feminine/female and it wants to be set free. For me if you wear a bra and panties every day the pink fog doesn't have a need to surface quite as often (you feel feminine) but it does come when you want/need to dress more. If you are a true CD you should accept you are not all male, part of your mind is female just like women and it's there every moment of the rest of your life.

[DIANEF]

One thing that surprised me was how quickly I mastered walking in heels. Until I got some I thought walking in them was a dark art only women and drag queens could master. As far as dressing goes, the desire is fairly constant, frustrated only by my lack of opportunity.

[Krisi]

If you were a woman working from home there's a good chance you wouldn't be wearing makeup so not wearing makeup doesn't mean you aren't "dressing". Now I would suggest shaving and a dab of lipstick but it's up to you.

[NancySue]

For me, it’s nicely referred to as “The Pink Fog”. I never know when it will roll in, but it does...many times out of no where and at any time. I’m almost always wearing something, which is nice, but want/need to do more and usually do. Enjoy.

[Rayleen]

Since I have more time alone in the house, pink fog is more present and when I get the urge I put on a bra w form , panties and leggings and lipstick for the day or evening . Its still a mystery like you said Becky why the sudden urge and sometimes not.

[BrendaPDX]

I generally am a plan out in advance to go all or nothing, but I saw a dress at the Goodwill a few weeks ago and didn't even wait till I got inside, I changed in the garage I went about my usual chores for a few hours and changed back; never done that before. Like you usually I want to go all or nothing but not this day. Take care, Brenda

[Sandy Storm]

Yes the urge hits me out of the blue and I can't wait to dress, sometimes its just long enough to get completely dolled up and relax for 10 min to 1/2 an hour, but most of the time I can feel it coming on...the higher the stress the more I NEED to dress and get away from reality! ~sighs~ used to have a safe place I could spend the day at anytime I wanted as Sandy but not right now, cannot wait till my safe space is all mine again

[Pat]

Becky -- I dunno. It just sounds to me like you're learning to relax. Over time I've had various phases of having to do one thing or another. All par for the course, I think.

[sometimes_miss]

Every birthday and Christmas I get myself a gift. That way, I always get what I want, and price is no concern. So, one year, I had my heart set on a rechargable tool set. I planned, shopped, went to play with the tools in the store to make sure I got exactly what I wanted. I shopped around to get the best price. And then, when I went to order it.......I purchased a video projector instead. I surprised myself! The next day I went to B&H in Manhattan and picked it up, brought it home, and made a bracket to mount it.
It was a wonderful surprise. I mounted it inverted onto the ceiling, and that night watched my very first movie projected onto a plain white painted wall, the wide zoom function was able to give me a ten foot diagonal picture while the projector was only ten feet away from the wall. My first movie to watch was Alien, and I intentionally left the front window curtains wide open so that my neighbor could see the giant picture movie playing that night. Needless to say, he was over the next day to see what was going on, and of course, super bowl sunday was spent at my house, as it has been every year since.
One of the most rewarding purchases I've ever made. Before that, all I had was a 25" standard old TV. At the time, the projector was $1500. I still have it.
So, surprise yourself. Get something you want, that you simply cannot justify spending the money on. Love yourself, and do something nice for yourself, today! You deserve it!

[Jaylyn]

The urge to dress comes and goes with me. I usually get the urge at least every couple weeks. Sometimes I really don't have the time to dress and a lot of times it happens when there is a stressful situation in my life. It does calm and slows me back down to attack the problem or job and get it done. I used to be surprised by the desire as in my earlier years it wasn't as strong as today.

[docrobbysherry]

Not any more, Becky. I've gotten so used to challenging myself and going out of my comfort zone, nothing Sherry does surprises me anymore!

[Joanne Curl]

I'm surprised by how much I think about dressing. Coming here and to another site is about as close as I get. I can't believe how much I need "Joanne" in my life.

[Maria Blackwood]

Not really. I disappoint myself a lot though. -_-

[Becky Blue]

Thanks for the responses girls... a few comments:
Kiwi - I have my own clothes, but they are stored safely at work, that was part of the surprise, I suddenly really had to do this, I don't wear my wife's clothes these days last time was probably 15 years ago)
Sabrina - what you are saying makes perfect sense
Deebra - I often get the 'pink fog' but these days I don't usually need to dress to feel 'Becky' even coming on here and reading or posting is often all I need.
Krisi - Agree 100% I am ALWAYS 100% clean shaven, after having laser on my face, a light shave every 2nd day gets rid of any pesky grey hairs.
Rayleen - one of life's great mysteries why today and not tomorrow or yesterday.
Brenda - glad it happens to others too not just me... 99% of the time its all in for me
Pat - I've been at this for 12 years on and off, very relaxed about it all, always have been - go figure.
Joanne - very well put, I too am often surprised just how much time I am thinking about Becky
Maria - lol