Did any single step for you result in an unexpectedly big difference?
A CD friend and I had an interesting exchange on this the other day.
For me, it was switching from contacts to in-between style eyeglasses (purple frames; you can sort of see them in my profile pic).
Part of the change was vision-driven. I found I was constantly taking my reading glasses on and off (over my distance contacts), and it was giving me headaches.
But the purple glasses, well, that was my new fashion sense coming out!
Still, it made a much bigger difference in my appearance than I imagined — and an even bigger difference in how I perceived myself. I suddenly started seeing myself as this feminine person!
Anything like that for you?