How Important Is It To You To Pass

[BELINDA IN BFLO]

I Am What Would Be Called Semi-passable. I Go Out To Local Cd-friendly Establishments And Have Good Times With Other Cd's. Lately, I Have Become Obsessed With Being Totally Passable. I Look At Some Of The Gurls That Are There And Feel Like I'm Not In Their League. I Don't Want To Go Out Anymore...i Feel Ugly. This Has Started In The Last Few Months. No One Has Ever Said Anything Negative About My Looks, Actually, I Received Compliments Whenever I Would Go Out. My Wife Says I'm Being Silly And Too Hard On Myself. She Says I'm My Own Worst Critic. I'm 52yrs Old And Been Dressing For Many Years. Has Anyone Else Experienced This? Your Help Would Be Appreciated.....thanks

[Julie Avery]

For me, realizing that I don't pass has been part of coming to terms with the world as it is.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Those "gurls" that pass? All you see is their photos yes? How do you know how many pictures they had to take to get them. Can you see how tall she is in comparison to others? Hear her voice, watch her move?

Do you know what obsessing over passing is?

<Akbar mode on>

It's a trap

<Akbar mode off>

Just focus on looking as "nice" as you can. Choose flattering clothes and makeup that you think looks good and try not to compare yourself to others too much.

Veronica

[Jodi]

My objective is to be presentable. None of us pass all the time. I try to dress and act appropriately. If that is done, and I am courteous and smile, there is never a problem. Remember--when you look in the mirror, noone else sees what you see.

Jodi

[Janice Ann]

Accept the things you cannot change-- and have the wisdom to know the differnce-- But by god if I want to dress enfemme and walk on the beach== I do try to use a little class-- just go for it-- I will never ever pass

[Kaitlyn Michele]

belinda-

i definitely have that problem..we're all different in what dressing means to us and how it makes us feel and especially in what part of dressing is most important..i'm able to dress anytime i want now, but i havent in almost a month

why?? because i'm so far from passing..i'm over 6' and i can get my body looking good but i just cant get anything close to even a remotely realistic look with the make-up..for some of us it doesnt matter but i am finding more and more for me its an important part of it..i dont know if it means i'll stop(i doubt it) ..but the whole fantasy about "passing" is a HUGE part of cding for me..

i know from others here that's the not the case for everybody so i expect you'll get all kinds of answers

[Maureen Henley]

I'm a lot less concerned about "passing" than I was before I joined this discussion board. Now, I think more along the lines of presentable.
A quick story : A few years ago, my wife suggested a shopping trip to an outlet center in NC. In one store, I whipped out a credit card to pay for a dress. The salesperson, a GG in her early 20's, asked for ID. I gave her my driver's license, which at least didn't show a picture of me with my old beard. After matching the names on the two pieces of plastic, she handed back the license, saying pleasantly, without any specific inflection, " Thank you, ma'am." Did I pass? Heck, no. But I presented an image of a courteous lady, and was treated as such. That's close enough to passing for me.

[Victoria_Tu]

Passing... I didnt know you had to throw a football when enfem... Girl just be yourself and present the best you that you can. Its not about them but about you. And your wife is right, we are our worst critics. Enjoy and have a sense of humor.

[Sweet Susan]

Being able to pass is very important to me. And I must admit that I have had some success, but also much failure. I accept my passing shortcomings and get on with it. To be honest, while I find it important to pass, there is also the thrill of being on the border, that place where those who aren't sure are intrigued by the oddity. Let's face it, men look different, and men who look very much like women, even if they are 100% passable, have a distinctly odd look about them. I like that odd look. I find it sexy. What I don't like is the beard shadow oozing through.

[raelene]

Hi,
I actually dont try to pass and definately cant pass, but I most definately like to dress. If no one likes the way I look dressed, I really dont care. I just enjoy the frills and thrills.
Raelene

[annekathleen]

If I could pass, I'd be dressing and getting out there in public, but since I know that I could not pass, I still enjoy doing it in the privacy of my home, and sneaking out once in a while after dark. It's still as erotic and sexual for me. Exploring my bi side, I'd love to have a relationship with a bi cross-dresser who could be so convincing, that my friends and family would never know that she was a he. And yes, there are a few of you here that are very convincing and fit that mold.

[ToyGirl]

i agree with Maureen , just being pleasant and presenting nicely is good enough.

Depends were you live too though. I live in rural australia. As luke skywalker said , if theres a bright centre to the universe than this is the farthest from.

[Jennaie]

Passing can also be a state of mind. I have heard many gurls say that it is your attitude that counts the most. I will not discount that one should take every effort to achieve their female look. Women do the same thing. We all try to look our best.

In another post someone ask how many of us are mistaken for females while dressed in drab. This is happening to me all the time lately. Today I went to Wal-mart and had trouble with the self-checkout. After the young lady was not able to figure it out she called another young lady and she came over and looked at the screen then stated as she glanced at me, "what she needs to do is such and such". This is about the fith or sixth time in the past couple of weeks that I have been labeled female while dressed in drab.

I believe that this is due to my state of mind more than my appearance. I am 50 years of age and I shave my head.

[Taffy]

Zero. Passing is neither a possibility nor a goal for me. A blind man in a coal bin at midnight on a moonless night could see that I am not a 10-year old girl.

Taffy

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i dont know taffy..you look like you pass very well!!! lol

iin the end i still dress..i still go out....i agree with susan..being on the border
in "disguise", as a "woman" is just an absolute total rush that i can honestly say doesnt compare with anything else i've experienced in my life...

i can very distinctly remember many of the times i've come close to passing, or maybe was presentable enough to be treated nicely..

like i say tho, to each her own and and i think thats so important not to judge and just to share our experiences and our feelings

[BELINDA IN BFLO]

Everyone....thank You So Much For Your Helpful Comments On My "problem". Maybe I Am My Own Worst Critic After All. I Should Be Happy I Have An Understanding And Helpful Wife, And Being Able To Express Myself As I Can. Once Again, I Want To Thank All My New Friends Out There. God Bless All Of You............

[Karren H]

Well striving for the ultimate perfection, aka passability, is a never ending goal of mine too. Ad although I go out a lot dressed in public, I'm sure that I'm read by many different people but I dont really care. I look good to me and I feel great. I have the right to wear what I want, when I want and no one can tell me differently. So If you look as good as you can, to hell with everyone else. You only have to please yourself, Belinda.. Ohh and maybe your wife. LOL

Love Karren

[lisacd882000]

Hi Girls,

First I have found the most important charistic in passing is to wear a big sincere smile and have confidance in yourself. the Rest will come.

Michelle you look great, you remind me of me, I dress similar in jeans top and coat and we are the same age. I share many of hte same feelings.

Blinda you are from Buffalo NY, wow I am from Batavia, I go the Suzi Studios a lot, ever meet Suzi?

Lisa

[GypsyKaren]

Passing is for the far left lane on the expressway. I think most of us trannies who do go out get read a lot more than we think, I know I sure do. That being said, so what? I've sure never had a problem, so I really wouldn't worry about it. If you've been out once and survived, you can do it again, so relax and enjoy.

Karen

[EricaCD]

Very, very interesting topic. I'm generally in agreement with the topics here. For me, passability is really a point of reference - and that point of reference is largely a fantasy because, at 6'3" tall, I am only passable at an NBA gathering. Passability is really a more innocent, less "competitive" dimension of my experience. I like the way women look, and I want to see how I can bridge the fundamental differences between my image and theirs. (Again, other than the height dimension which cannot be altered by any ordinary means....)

[Kim E]

Even though I live full time, I don't worry about passing or being read. I live my life as I am and who I am. I try to be presentable and greet most everyone who passes by with a smile. You can go far with confidence and by being just yourself.

Kim

[AmandaM]

I could pass fairly well in my 20's. Not so now in my 40's. But it's mostly those extra pounds getting in the way. I'm trying to go back to the thinness I had in my 20s. Passing to me, is the elixir of life! And my glass needs a refill!!!!

[JodieFosterTLGWLDTL]

Not important.

[Penny]

My objective is to be presentable. None of us pass all the time. I try to dress and act appropriately. If that is done, and I am courteous and smile, there is never a problem. Remember--when you look in the mirror, noone else sees what you see.

Jodi

Jodi, how right you are! I have said the same thing in different threads. I hate the word pass because the opposit of pass is fail. Howcome we use a word that other's who have seen us, labled us a trying to " pass himself off as a woman? We all should strive for presentable (acceptable). That's what we really are doing; presenting our female side hoping to be accepted for who we are. If I don't think I can pass then I am afraid of failure and won't make an attempt but if I feel that I can present myself in a favorable light then I will. Then I am able to present only me and not worry about comparisons.

[Michelle Hart]

Thoughts on passing.

How I got into special forces:

When I first started, I knew there was no way I'd pass. After the first 25 guys dropped I felt a little better but still did'nt believe it but I absolutly would not quit. Days later more were gone our numbers dwindled rapidly as the days went by. Before I relized it, it was the middle of the night and the instructor said " if you want to pass you better go NOW!

5 miles later I crossed the finish line with only seconds to spare. Did I pass?

Yes, because in the begining I was untrained an lacked the selfconfidence to pass. My desire to continually improve and not quit got me across the finishline. Not my size or my muscle MY MIND & ATTITUDE and that is what it really is about.

I share this because that same will to improve got me through then and tonight while I strolled around Walmart dressed COMPLETLY in womens clothes with no makeup. Hell I even saw a family friend when I walked out the door and just said hello and walked on by.

We all have the ability to PASS the question is do we have the will to try....