What is the attraction of going out dressed

[Sometimes Steffi]

There's a thread by Cathleen about why we dress if we don't go out. She restricted the responders to those who don't go out.

It seems like many of the responders to the other thread don't go out because they don't think that they could pass.

I think we all agree that most of us will never pass a close inspection. I'm 5'9" and I wear a size 12/14 dress and a size 10/12 jeans. That's about the average size of an American woman. Because I am average sized, I can say that I probably pass at 30 feet. I probably don't pass at 3 feet to someone not wearing "beer goggles".

And, I do go out, sometimes in a large group (50+), and sometimes in a smaller group (3-4). I go out because I can. I got to safe places and don't walk alone in dark alleys, so to speak. I love it when I get positive affirmations from GGs. To me, in indicates a level of acceptance. It also is an affirmation of my fashion style. I work very hard on my fashion style, and always try to look "well put together" whether I'm in an evening gown or yoga leggings. I always try to present different looks. I don't go out in sweats, because to me, that's not crossdressing. I could wear my own male sweats and not present female if I just wanted to wear sweats.

I used to underdress in panties all the time, but I hardly ever do now. I have a different outlet. I take a yoga class three time a week, and always go in feminine (think floral) yoga pants and a women's racerback or tank top.

Maybe someone else wants to comment.

[ellbee]

Nowadays? Mostly because I can't be bothered to change.

Then again, I also don't do the full en-femme thing anymore, either.


When I used to, years ago, my reasoning for going out (as a chick) was quite different.

Don't feel like getting into it all now, but I wanted to see how the other half lived, so to speak.

I also kinda needed, at the time, for others (friends & strangers, alike) to view & treat me as a GG. Or at the very least, as a "hot tranny." I like to believe I did a pretty darn good job, given the circumstances... So much so, that I ended up opening a whole new can of worms, with that.

Was a heck of an experience, and wouldn't have traded it for the world. Definitely needed it during that part of my life. These days? Not so much. I came, I saw, I went.

[Nikki A.]

I go out dressed because I want to. I am a people person and like to interact with others.

[Alice_2014_B]

For the most I do it for just the fun of it.
I love attention, the good kind of course.

And a while back it became my stand-up persona.

One store I walked into late one night dolled up (full story with pics here in a few days) the SA gal saw me from somewhat of a distance, said, "Hi" as she walked to continue helping another customer.
I just waved.

I already knew I had to talk to her (by now talking to SA's while en-fem is no issue) because I wanted to see if they had certain heels in my size.

As I'm looking and waiting she came over and in my un-disguised voice I asked her, "Did I look real when I came in the door?".
She said I did.

It's the small rewards like that.

[Helen_Highwater]

Steffi,

For me it's about fulfilling me as a person. When I dressed and stayed within the 4 walls of the house while initially ok after some time I knew that I felt stifled, that I needed to walk further than the length if the hallway.

Wanting to go out and having the courage to do so as well all know are two different things and it took many years, the support of those here and numerous baby steps before I truly ventured out.

Once out and having experienced the feeling of freedom that brings there was no going back. Going out dressed is just part of me, who I am, how I express myself.

True part of it is down to being able to experience wearing nice things and hopefully present well. 5'10", size 18 dress I'm a little taller than most GG's but not all. I can mingle well and a few random interactions have told me that it sometimes takes a second look before some folks realise I'm CD and not a GG.

As others have said, interacting with the muggles can be such a wonderful thing. Being treated as anyone else and for our part behaving like anyone else helps bring about a better more understanding society.

So I suppose if I had to sum it up then I'd say its about leading a normal life , just in different clothes.

[Sashauk]

I think you are probably right, Steffi, in that the reason why a lot of us don't go out dressed is that we think we won't pass and will be ridiculed because of that - that's my reason for not doing it.

Personally I never wear anything but panties and virtually all the time I have a bra on. At the moment I'm sitting here in bra, panties, suspender belt, stockings, skirt and top. I will be going out shopping shortly so I will replace the skirt and top with jeans and a shirt. I wish I had the courage to go as I am but I know I never will. Even though I have replaced the skirt and top for traditionally male outerwear I will be fully female underneath, and the fact that I'm wearing a bra will be obvious to anyone who looks closely.

So does that count as going out dressed? Probably in some small way.

[Teresa]

Steffi,
It was hard to reply to that thread because the qusetion was aimed at those who don't , I felt to give a balanced answer it could only come from members who had been gthrough that and now do go out .

I have to agree with Nikki, I'm a people person , I need and love that interaction . I can't believe in such a short time how comfortable I feel , dare I say normal ! As you say think about your appearance providing you do want to integrate , I know some like to stand out , well I always have my social group to let my hair down some and go a little OTT . Sorry to repeat the story again but I had a GG tell me she wished she looked like me when I was trying on a swimsuit in a Matalan store , that did turn the question of passing on it's head .

[Elizabeth G]

I go out because I want to present as (to the best of my abilities) and be perceived as a woman. I want to be seen by others as I see myself.

[Sherri_Christopher]

When I was in my 30s, I went out while dressed with members of my CD support group to CD friendly places and also to banquets. It did feel good. Nowadays though, I'm in my early 60s and I'm a tall person, 6'2" and broad shouldered and I would probably stick out like a sore thumb. I am making an effort to lose weight and have taken off quite a bit. I'm planning on moving out west to Colorado in another year, so I may go out while dressed there, perhaps in Denver. I'll have to investigate if there's any CD groups once I get there.

[Angela Marie]

I dressed inside for a number of years. Just clothes, no makeup. But I wanted affirmation of my feminine side; which is why I began going out into the world. It was very difficult at first. I took some time off from dressing for about two years. Yesterday I went out en femme for the first time in a while. As I strolled through the stores I remembered why I found it so invigorating.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Well, I don't go out, partly out of fear----But mostly because MY CDing is ABOUT "Getting away from MYSELF" and completely unwinding and relaxing. NOT about presenting myself as a female.--- I look good enough appearance wise, but I really don't have a passable feminine comportment. I have been out in public twice though---Once for Halloween party and another time in a Womanless beauty contest-------Those who DO go out, More power to you. YOU have needs that I do not

[confused_cathreen]

Thank you Steffi for creating this thread, you are right, my question was limited to specific kind of CDers as it served a particular purpose. Reading your stories though made me wonder: does it make you feel good to be acknowledged when out and about? I went back to my own experiences and realised that women as a rule don't compliment others easily. I have never stopped someone in the street to compliment her on putting on a good look. I don't think I would do it with a CDer, I guess that's the price you pay if you want to be like everyone else 😉. Or does it make you uncomfortable to get attention? Bear in mind that attention comes both positive and negative and all of us flip a coin, not just CDers.

[audreyinalbany]

I go out because it's gets boring staying home alone

[phili]

For me the going out or not issue revolves around my sense of identity. I have a portion of identity that sustains me when alone- and how I relate to our environment and general survival needs. Another piece is my identity in relationships, and this is where gender comes into play- as it is a styling. Most of us we were told what our style had to be based on our anatomical sex. I have always felt discontent with the way the style expresses my sense of myself, and therefore with the relationships that were formed with me performing an essentially false or incomplete version of myself.

So now, going out is a way to form new relationships based on presenting myself and acting in accordance with how I actually feel. That brings an amazing sense of relief, of unity, of peace, joy, and creative energy. Sure, some people look at me and frown, or avert their eyes, but others smile and come forward, or just accept me as another strand of the diverse public, and every experience like that wipes away the notion that I am unacceptable, and which kept me hiding for so long.

I particularly like the fact that I am experiencing the free society that I once didn't believe is around us. Life seems good again.

[Rachael Leigh]

I think what started for me as dressing at home, taking pictures and such I just decided I didn’t want to be that person who
was afraid to just be myself and to not hide behind the door, but to be happy with who I am. Yes I consider myself trans
non binary but besides that, what is the issue with going out dressing as you please. I’ve been going out now for about 2
years, off and on and as I said in one of my picture threads passing for me is what I do on the highway. I’ve come to find out there are lots of good people out there and they just go about their business and most times I’m treated like anyone else and that’s refreshing.

[Mandy T]

This is just me. I have been dressing for years and never ventured outside my house. Just this year I started stepping out in the public. My wife has been the one I lean on to tell me the truth about weather I would pass or not. I don't want to go out and be made so to speak. I call it my "Alter Ego". Mandy is project that allows me to find happiness. I am never mad or sad or upset when I am Mandy. Mandy has a great life. LOL
As I improve my craft Mandy becomes more and more passable. The end goal is for Mandy to exist in the world with none the wiser.
Add to that it is a total rush to go out and inter act with the public. Next weekend the wife and I are going out on a weekend getaway. A girls weekend. Mandy will be all I have for the whole weekend. This is a huge test for Mandy.

Mandy

[Beverley Sims]

I like mixing with other women.

[DIANEF]

There's a big wide world out there, I don't want to be confined within four walls. It took me a long time to step out of the door, I wish I had done it so much earlier.

[DaisyLawrence]

Presenting feminine is who I am so I have to go out like it or I would be stuck indoors for ever! As Diane said, there's a big wide world out there, so enjoy it while you can

[TheHiddenMe]

Reading your stories though made me wonder: does it make you feel good to be acknowledged when out and about? I went back to my own experiences and realised that women as a rule don't compliment others easily. I have never stopped someone in the street to compliment her on putting on a good look. I don't think I would do it with a CDer, I guess that's the price you pay if you want to be like everyone else 😉. Or does it make you uncomfortable to get attention? Bear in mind that attention comes both positive and negative and all of us flip a coin, not just CDers.

I've gotten a few compliments when out, and yes it feels good.

Before I started going out on a regular basis, I had to buy my girl clothes while in drab, and for the most part, without trying them on. Part of getting out dressed was to be able to buy clothes dressed, both to make sure they fit, and looked good on me, but also because I've wanted to try on dresses for 50+ years.

Once I got out, I found several GG's who were supportive, and would give me feedback on how I looked (my wife and I are pretty much DADT). So getting out dressed and finding support was a big unexpected bonus.

[NancySue]

The fun, need and challenges. I’m always dressed underneath. There are days where it’s fine, but occasionally, when I add things, the desire to go out increases. Most women around here don’t wear makeup (sad), so I have to tone it down, which is not a problem. Heels and hose are a rarity, too...another 😕, but I can’t seem to help it, I wear hose...so there. Lol

[Sometimes Steffi]

Thank you Steffi for creating this thread, you are right, my question was limited to specific kind of CDers as it served a particular purpose. Reading your stories though made me wonder: does it make you feel good to be acknowledged when out and about? I went back to my own experiences and realised that women as a rule don't compliment others easily. I have never stopped someone in the street to compliment her on putting on a good look. I don't think I would do it with a CDer, I guess that's the price you pay if you want to be like everyone else ��. Or does it make you uncomfortable to get attention? Bear in mind that attention comes both positive and negative and all of us flip a coin, not just CDers.

Cathreen

I assumed that you had a purpose in mind, but I started this thread to turn your question on its head. While some of us girls won't go out for one reason or another, many of us love to go out. And some even go out with their wives as two girls. Not me, because my wife barely acknowledges my CDing.

I love being acknowledged when out. I've had a lot of wonderful comments from GGs while out, and some long conversations about the "why" question. I also got hit on by a guy in a gay bar. I don't think he knew the secret. That's what I call "beer goggles"; any girl looks attractive after enough beer. I'm straight, and this kind of freaked me out. I guess that girls learn how to say "No" at a young age. This was the first time I ever had to say "No".

Since I know how hard I have to work to "look pretty", I admire girls who also work hard. I give GGs compliments many times when they've taken the time to look good, whether it be makeup or clothes. My rule about that is to complement their choices in clothing, not their bodies. Like, "I love that necklace" or "That perfume is wonderful". I always get a positive, if somewhat embarrassed response to my complements. Many times, I got told where they bought it. It's too bad if GGs don't support each other with compliments.

I hope some of this helps. It took me a long time to get from thinking that I was perverted to thinking I was within the range of normal, and that I was allowed to be cute, pretty, attractive or just downright hot. Look at my profile pic (not the Bugs Bunny one) and see if you agree. Remember, I love positive affirmations.

When I thought of myself as a pervert, I kept all of my CDing activity very private, and couldn't be open about it with anyone. That may be why you BF didn't say anything about it. It may not have been a problem until your relationship become sufficiently serious.

[Joyce Swindell]

Early in my crossdressing going outside was a huge adrenalin rush so not only did it feel great but also was an adrenalin high. As time has passed I worry less over what someone might see or think. Going out has gotten easier but also is less of a high/rush. So now I go out because sometimes this side of me has to be out. It's part of who I am. To me sitting at home is like living in a bubble and I am not capable of isolating myself completely except for recovery of a bad day or something. I often focus on my task at hand and you might say that is isolating myself but somehow that seems different....isolation with a purpose I guess. So I make goals. My last was to be more passing. With the outing two months ago (monthly fem meeting) I felt pretty good about my look. Net goal is to do a week as Joyce, weather it be on a cruise or just on vacation. I'm not sure why other than it is something I've never done before.

Life is a journey

[docrobbysherry]

TS's dress that way all the time. But, us CD's don't. Of course, some CD's wish the could. But, can't for a variety of reasons.

But, then there's us CD, CD's! (Closet Dressing, Cross Dressers.) We could go out dressed everyday if we wished to. But, we don't! Why not? I can't speak for others, just me.

I feel dressing up for mundane, daily tasks and venues populated by vanillas to be stressful and pointless for a number of reasons!

For every smile or nice word spoken, I need to put up with countless guffaws, snarky, disapproving looks, and disparaging remarks.

Then, if out shopping or having lunch, etc. The fact that I am a distraction wherever I go, negative or positive, takes away from the purpose I'm out.

I can't dress the way I like. Pretty, sexy, stylish. I have to dress to blend!

It takes me an hour to present as a female. Takes me 5 minutes in drab!

[sara66]

We put a lot of work in looking good. It would be a shame if we didn't get out once in awhile, The first few times it is quite a rush. I gets easier each time I get out. Most people don't notice or don't care.
Sara