A little background. I’m in my forties and have never had a strong desire to crossdress. I’m a man, but have never been afraid of my feminine side, never afraid of sensitivity, never bothered by how other people define gender roles or what have you. Most importantly, I truly like ‘me’ in all of my stages of life. Still do. All of my masculinity, femininity, and all manner in between.
I don’t have the faintest idea why, but about six months ago I was hit with the strong desire to crossdress. Stresses of life? Not allowing enough of my inner femininity to show? Who knows.
So, one day, I happened upon a discarded blouse from my wife and put it on. My entertained thoughts were now manifesting and I loved it. I tucked it away back in a drawer and carried on. I’d put it on when she wasn’t home and just felt so good while getting some chores done.
About a month later, she spotted it tucked away in my drawer and when I came home from work, she nervously sat me down for a serious conversation.
I realized fairly quickly these things:
My wife doesn’t ‘tolerate’ my crossdressing.
My wife doesn’t ‘accept’ my crossdressing.
Rather … my wife EMBRACES my crossdressing.
We’ve always been honest and loving and supportive of one another, and yet I knew this might be troubling. I hadn’t hidden the blouse to ‘hide’ anything, more that I was trying to figure it all out myself. Well, now we were figuring it out together.
Since then, it was her that brought up shaving my armpits, getting a wig (though, my hair is long and we both prefer it to the wig … the wig is just fun). It was her that bought me some perfume, helped me choose more clothes and buy them for me. It was her that suggested make up (though I had already been thinking on it).
I was the one who started crossdressing. She’s the one that has encouraged and helped me get this far!
One day, about a month into it, she sat me down for another serious discussion. In these sorts of discussions, we get so excited that often the phrase “wait, let me finish” is heard as we are desperate for each others’ thoughts. She seriously asked me if I wanted to transition and that she loves me always in all forms and that she would support me. I told her that I don’t want to transition. I told her I couldn’t say that I would NEVER want to transition because I was pretty surprised by the crossdressing and can’t predict the future, but I like my ‘male’ side just as much as my ‘female’ side. In fact, I feel like a complete person either way. Truthfully, I hope to blend these two ‘sides’ with increasing ease. For now, I have been so very male for so many years, that I am dressed en femme most nights when I get home.
On the days that I am home and she at work, I femme up as completely as I can. Not because she’s away, but in anticipation of when she comes home. She positively lights up seeing just how pretty I’ve tried to make myself for her and for myself, and she delights to come home to a nice dinner.
She can’t wait to take me out one night and show me off.
Whether I continue to crossdress or not, both of us can’t wait for the rest of our lives together with all of its wonderful twists and turns.